I Need Something More

Cleaning up the coast of Maine

After I finished college I went back home to live with my Mom and Dad in Pennsylvania. I had earned a Bachelor’s in Biology with an Environmental Emphasis, and I minored in Outdoor Recreation. The tough part was that I didn’t really know what to do with it. The events of 9/11 took place just a couple of weeks after I started my senior year of college; I couldn’t see myself moving into a career in forest/wildlife management or facilitating team-building on a ropes course after the world had changed so drastically, but I also didn’t want to run off and join the military. With no direction, I defaulted to moving back in with Mom and Dad.

I had no idea what the end result of that choice would be. I had no way of knowing what would eventually happen, but I ended up living there for about a year and a half before I left for the Air Force. To earn money, I worked construction for a local home builder. I learned a lot of stuff working that job, but when you’re single, live with your parents, and have a decent income coming in, it gives you some opportunity to explore some additional hobbies or try some different things out. During this time I paid back all of my college debt, volunteered to work with my church’s youth group, did a lot of kneeboarding on the river, bought a new (used) car, took up skydiving, and took trips to Maine and Australia.

Kneeboarding on the river

It was definitely unique in the sense that I had very little responsibility, but at the same time I was restless. There was no direction; nothing to throw my energy toward. I tried a variety of things to kind of see if any of them seemed like something I’d want to pursue further. I tried some stuff that I wanted to do, and it was fun, but it still felt like I was made for more. I needed something that was…bigger than just me.

As time went on, the idea of joining the Air Force grew on me. By that point I had at least experienced an introduction to rudimentary medical courses, skydiving, scuba diving, swift-water swimming, long-distance swimming, shooting, and generally spending a good amount of time in the great outdoors. I began gravitating toward the idea of joining an Air Force career field called Pararescue. These are Air Force special operators that are combat medics trained to enter enemy territory to locate, stabilize, and rescue downed aircrew. It seemed right up my alley!

Just knowing that they were a type of special forces within the military made me hesitate though, and I think I was probably afraid of the high failure rate. I opted for something a little less intense. I graduated college in May of 2002, and in May of 2003 I signed on the dotted line with the Air Force, agreeing to enter the career field of Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape (SERE) Specialist.

In order to guarantee that I’d have a slot trying out for that job, the recruiter let me know that I’d have to delay my entry into service. I signed in May, but didn’t leave for Basic Training until that December. I still had about six months left of doing the same stuff I had been doing, but knowing that there was something bigger coming helped me to feel more settled. I had found a few ways to push my limits in the past, but joining the Air Force in this capacity was going to allow me to really open up the throttle and see how far I could go. As you’ll see later, I got plenty of opportunities to push my limits, and the parts that were really exciting were where I exceeded what I thought were my limits.

Many times we impose our own limits. We don’t know where they came from, but somehow we taught ourselves to stay away from those limits, because we might get hurt or exhausted trying to reach them. By putting them in the context of something that’s beyond ourselves, though, things are a little more attainable. Isn’t it funny how when presented with a challenge, many Biblical characters immediately provided excuses? When called to speak for God, Moses blamed his speech impediment. Jonah ran the other way because he didn’t want God to spare the Ninevites. Instead of being crowned Israel’s first king, Saul went and hid. Many times we’re the same way. Those guys were all imperfect, but they went on to do great things when enabled by God’s power.

It’s no different for you and I. We’re called to do great things for God’s glory, but if you look back on your life, you may be able to remember some of the reasons you’ve cited about why you wouldn’t be the right person for whatever your calling is/was. Not only are you intentionally limiting yourself, but you’re missing out on incomparable adventures. Saying ‘no’ to God doesn’t help His kingdom grow. On the other hand, think about how much God’s glory is put on display when some feeble, unqualified human instrument agrees to go where God sent them, only to experience improbable success. It’s there, waiting for you.

Don’t be intimidated by the hurdles you see, but don’t be afraid of success, either. Accept God’s invitation to step into something larger than you.