I wrote previously about our college dorm’s “Olympics.” We came up with a variety of events and pitted our dorm’s four floors against one another in a stunning display of mindless testosterone to help build camaraderie and rapport within the various floors.
One of the events we did was pretty gross. We made four equal lines of dudes (one for each floor), and at the front of the line stood a judge who held a bag. Inside that bag was a collection of various nasty foods. I don’t remember what was in it except that it was the most vile collection of foods our dorm council president could find. Everything in the bag was actual food (it wasn’t mud or anything inedible, for example), but it was like, pickled squid and hot peppers and other gross stuff. There might have been something pretty benign (but difficult to eat quickly) like a large pack of saltine crackers or something similar.
Each competitor had to reach into the bag, grab an item, and eat whatever he pulled out. Upon demonstrating to the bag-holder that he had swallowed his food, he got out of the way and the next guy in line moved up and took a turn. All four bags held identical contents. The first team to get through all their items took first place, the second team took second, and so on.

You would not believe the competitive spirit displayed at this event. Dudes took it like champs. I think some guys were shoving stuff in their mouths before they even fully understood what it was. They were simply too dedicated to their goal to be bothered by the disgusting details. It was a different story afterwards; after they’d finished their turn, some guys made their way over to the tree line and tried not to toss their cookies. I’m not really sure what level of success they had.
It’s a little bit of a strange illustration, but it’s analogous to the erroneous pseudo-Christian doctrines some people follow. They think just because a group has “Jesus” in its name or has Him featured prominently, it must be righteous and worthwhile. It’s very important to question things and not just “swallow” all a given group’s beliefs without thinking them through. There are a few non-negotiable things (Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, both fully God and fully man, He died as a perfect sacrifice on our behalf to satisfy God’s wrath toward our imperfection, we cannot “earn” our way to Heaven or reach the same level as Christ, there are no essential books other than what’s contained in the Old and New Testaments), but there’s a lot of freedom outside of those.
Some people mistakenly believe some of those non-negotiable items are flexible as long as there’s a reasonable substitute. They’ll add some kind of required practice or instruction that seems holy or reverential, but they’ve actually sacrificed accuracy. When eternity is on the line, accuracy isn’t something you want to fudge. False teachers don’t announce themselves; you have to do some of your own investigation.
If you’ve recently begun attending a new church, ask yourself what it believes about these things. A group of people can be nice, upstanding citizens and still completely miss the mark on essential Christian doctrine. The devil is very familiar with our human nature, and knows it’s easy for us to replace a meaningful relationship with mindless practices or rote repetition. Diverting an earnest follower by steering them toward something that doesn’t matter is a great way to rob Heaven of souls. Don’t fall for it.
















