This week marks a special milestone in my personal life.
Twenty years ago this week, my wife and I got married.
To my wife: thank you for being the wonderful, Godly woman you are…for dealing constantly with our three zany kids in all their crazy, for supporting me through the ups and downs we’ve faced, and for allowing me the decades-long habit of having multiple nights a week that are dedicated to school, blogging, or other projects.
Thank you for your love and respect this whole time.
Thank you for your honesty and integrity.
Thanks for taking care of yourself and still looking good 20 years later. 😉
Thank you for more laughs than tears.
Thanks for stepping into the growth opportunities God’s placed before you.
Thanks for holding on during this wild ride as we see what unknowns God takes us into.
Did you ever recognize something was wrong, but you compared it to the wrong standard? Trying to make it right using something that’s wrong isn’t going to work out so well.
One springtime years ago my wife and I took our three young kids to visit my Mom and Dad in the house where I grew up. Compared to where we lived with our kids at the time, Mom and Dad’s backyard was huge. They also lived way out in the country, miles from the nearest stoplight, so the wide open space and curvy back roads were an adventure for my kids.
All the old roads and routes came back to my memory. Any time we headed out to go somewhere I had to sort through old memories of how the roads connected. One day we loaded everybody up to head somewhere, and I decided on the route we’d take.
Wherever we were going, we took a road that passed right through the middle of a pig farm. It was a spot I’d passed through countless times on my way to or from school, football games, or friends’ houses. I even got pulled over by a cop there once. (I was speeding, but got away with a warning.) As you might imagine, pig farms don’t smell so good in the spring. The smell began percolating into our minivan’s interior, and the kids all started exclaiming “eeeewww!”
Deciding to take action, my younger daughter pressed the button to roll down the window, letting in the high-volume unadulterated stink in all its glory. With angry and surprised shrieks coming from the back, I hit the button to close her window again and we hurried out of the area. Confused about why she would do that, we asked what she was trying to do. In her mind, opening the window was going to blow the bad smell out. I guess it makes sense if you think of it that way, but she didn’t realize the air outside was even worse than what we were already dealing with. Though she meant to get rid of the smell faster, all it did was let in a whole lot more.
Remember in this life that even when it’s easy to be distracted about what’s important or what’s true, there’s only one real standard. It’s easy to begin comparing yourself to others. “I’m not anywhere near as bad as those nutjobs on TV.” That might be true, but Jesus is your standard, not the nutjobs. If you start focusing on the wrong standard, you’re going to lose sight of just how much (and how often) you need God’s grace, and that you’re dependent on it every day. It’s important to keep that in perspective. Don’t use really stinky air to make clean air.
When my two oldest kids were little, I’d often come home from work and be greeted by two little balls of energy. Mommy stayed home with them, so when I came home I’d try to give her at least some kind of break by taking them off her hands even if it was for just a few minutes. One particular day was very pleasant outside, so I went into the house intending to come back outside with one or both kids in tow shortly thereafter.
I walked in and got some big hugs from everybody. My little guy looked like he was up for a walk, so I said “Hey Buddy, I need to go get the mail. Would you like to go to the mailbox with me?”
In about as sweet a tone as you can imagine, he said “Umm, I don’t, but I wish I did.”
That little memory makes me think of some people’s walk with God. Some of them honestly and earnestly seek to do God’s will for their life. Others know they should pursue that goal, but for whatever reason, it takes a back seat to other priorities. They wish they had the time or the drive, but they don’t really have their hearts set on it. Others don’t even aspire to that much.
My little guy didn’t want to go, but he didn’t want to disappoint Daddy, either. I wasn’t mad or disappointed in him; I knew he might very well turn me down. God knows before we do how we’ll arrange our priorities. He’s not surprised when we choose not to prioritize the things He offers us.
Although it’s super easy to be distracted by the urgency of the things we encounter in this life, the Christian life is about living your life according to how God wants you to. Give it a try. I think you’ll be blessed in ways you didn’t expect.
While visiting my parents one summer, my wife and I took our three kiddos out for ice cream. As we stood inside, waiting to order, I looked around the place and noticed a fun little bit of décor that caught my eye.
Framed in a corner of the room was an autographed picture of the group “Fighting Gravity.” This group was a blacklight performance act on the talent show “America’s Got Talent” (AGT) in the year 2010. I had watched the show that season and thought they were very entertaining, and thought it was fun to see some kind of local connection.
I don’t remember what year this was, but I’d ballpark it somewhere in the early 2020s. I thought it a little odd for this place to have an autograph from that group, and figured there must be some kind of personal connection between this ice cream shop and some member of Fighting Gravity. As we were waiting to place our order, I asked someone behind the counter about the picture. She wasn’t sure, and turned to ask one of her coworkers. Turns out she didn’t know either, and taking a quick poll, nobody at the store knew anything about that signed picture. In fact, nobody seemed to even know what “Fighting Gravity” was. It had only been about 10 years and I could understand that nobody working there had watched the show, but already none of them knew anything about the picture’s significance. Maybe if the proprietor had written something down it would have been easier to convey the story to people curious about the connection.
Did you ever wonder why God took the time to include all those boring genealogies in the Old Testament? Odds are you probably skipped over them or only skimmed them. Since it’s just a bunch of names of people nobody remembers, there’s not much purpose to them, right? Well if 2 Timothy 3:16 is correct, there’s purpose for all scripture. Here are a few reasons why they might be important.
The listing of all those individuals helps demonstrate scripture’s accuracy. By listing the physical existence of actual people you can trace back, we can verify that the Bible contains actual confirmed records of things, and isn’t just some collection of fictional stories. It’s authentic and contains historical records.
They confirm prophecy. The Messiah was prophesied to come from the line of David. By the time Jesus walked the earth, those lineages were long in the past, but recording those lineages helps check more boxes in the “prophesies fulfilled by Jesus” category.
Each name represents an actual person’s lifetime. God doesn’t see Israel as a collection of vague characters all lumped together; He sees them as individuals, each with highs and lows, victories and failures. Those are real people, and God is involved in the details of each of their lives.
Some genealogies reveal God’s favor for gentiles, even though they weren’t part of His chosen people. Ruth and Rahab are both part of Christ’s ancestral lineage, even though they were not Jewish. The Lord cares about each person He’s created; He values them all, and He invites them all to come to Him.
The bottom line is that genealogies reinforce the significance of God’s promises. Yeah, they can be pretty boring if you’re not very interested in that kind of thing. It’s important to remember, though, that all of Scripture and all of God’s plans tie together; if He takes the time and care to arrange fulfillment of the “boring” promises, it suggests He’ll fulfill the other ones, too.
One nice thing about having very young kids is having the freedom to vacation without being at the mercy of the school calendar. Before our kids were old enough to start school, we took them for a beach vacation the week of Labor Day, when rates dropped but the weather was still warm.
The Labor Day weekend was packed, of course, with lots of people wanting to cram in one last beach trip for the summer. Once Tuesday rolled around, though, we had the beach to ourselves. Even the lifeguards stopped working. The kids could chase seagulls all they wanted without worrying about anyone else on the beach.
While the kids ran around on the sand, I noticed a guy who was probably in his 50s standing in the dunes, just kind of keeping an eye on us. He was almost, I don’t know, disapproving in the way he watched us. After awhile he came walking across the sand to speak to me. He wanted to remind me that there would be no lifeguards on duty at all that day, and that “even he” wasn’t going to stick around much longer. In my mind I thought “dude, if you left, I’d probably be more at ease. Don’t stick around on my account.” He added something like “it would be a real shame” if we let the kids get too close to the water and something happened to them. Thanks buddy, we drove all this way to come to the beach and not watch the 3-year-old and the almost-2-year-old. I just assumed he was some kind of senior lifeguard switching off summer mode, but without introducing himself, the whole “even he” statement and his “helpful” advice landed in a way he probably didn’t intend. I believe he meant well, but without even introducing himself or stating his role, you can imagine that he just kind of came across as a little condescending.
Have you ever tried to tell people about Christ without taking the time to “read the room” first? Even if you have the purest of motives, people don’t often take kindly to folks who jump into a conversation with them and tell them how they should be living their lives. I’m not saying God can’t use the encounter, but it seems prudent to consider how the people you’re engaging perceive your entry into the conversation. Maybe at least try a little chit chat to demonstrate your willingness to listen to their perspective before hitting them with fire and brimstone or “sinners in the hand of an angry God.”
I’ll concede, though, that if it comes down to a choice between having a curt discussion about the need for Christ and saying nothing at all, being curt takes priority. The Gospel doesn’t get spread without people spreading it. My point here is simply that when you’re about to tell people they’re destined for eternal punishment because they’re living life apart from Jesus Christ, it’s best to have a little empathy because making people defensive right off the bat tends to help them reject what you’re saying.
Going back to the guy on the beach, nothing he said was incorrect. I even think he meant well. It was his attitude and delivery that overshadowed his message and made me want to tell him to buzz off, and I want to prevent anything like that from getting in the way of someone’s acceptance of Christ as their Savior.Lord, I know You call us all to spread the message. Even if I don’t feel well-practiced, give me the words and the boldness to jump in when I feel you calling me to do it. Help me remember that even though I could obsess over not “doing it right,” You can build poor attempts into something magnificent, and are pleased by my obedience.
A couple years ago I wrote about an earlier time when two of my kids played tee ball. Man, if you’re competitive when it comes to sports, or you generally enjoy competence, you probably want to stay away from watching tee-ball games.
These days my two kids who were in tee ball are about 10 years older than when they played the sport. My son is old enough to get a job now, and this past weekend I went with him and my younger daughter to a little league complex so he could earn some cash on opening day.
We dropped him off so he could do his thing, and my daughter and I headed into the bleachers to kill some time watching a tee-ball game while we waited. (If you decide to read my previous tee-ball post, this is the same daughter who got antsy in the stroller and I took her walking around during the games.)
When I had kids playing in a tee-ball game, it was a disaster. The kids kinda had fun, but it was hard for me to watch for some reason. This time around was different, though. The game was still a disaster for sure, but it was much more fun to watch. My daughter and I had a good time being spectators.
The second baseman still stood around picking his nose. The whole team still swarmed to (and sometimes fought over) the ball anytime there was a hit. There were still sometimes two runners on the same base. For the kids, the highlight of the experience was still having team snacks after the game.
Why the difference in perspective? I think maybe it’s because none of my kids were out there, looking like they couldn’t find their way out of a wet paper bag. I can only surmise the first time around was so frustrating for me because my kids’ team couldn’t function, but this time was a hoot because I wasn’t invested in either team and I was able to just watch and enjoy the chaos. My daughter and I sat in the bleachers, laughing at the cuteness and abject comedy on display out on the field. They were a funny bunch, and they didn’t care that they didn’t know what a good play looked like.
In your life, have you walked away from serving God in the past because it was somehow too aggravating or frustrating for you to be a part of? Maybe it’s time to give it another shot. Just because it was hard for you back then doesn’t mean it’s going to be the same today. If it is, maybe now you’re better equipped to handle it. Try doing a little reintroduction to using your gifts for God’s glory. He gave you this talent for a reason; you might find this time around is much different.
My kids are old enough that at this point they’ve all played instruments in the school band/orchestra. While I have to admit the concerts during those early years can make the audience cringe from time to time, it’s much more enjoyable to attend concerts after those musicians gain a few years of experience. A couple of my kiddos have done well enough with their music to make the cut into groups requiring an audition, and those concerts are the fun ones to attend.
Maybe you’ve had kids (or a sibling) in some kind of concert band/orchestra; as a concert draws near, you hear them at home rehearsing the same parts over and over. They get smoother with time, but you still only hear the same parts repeated time and again. This goes on and on until the concert finally arrives.
Before the concert begins it’s common to hear the musicians warming up on stage. At first it’s the sound of a weird, jumbled mess of all kinds of different instruments doing their own thing according to their own timing. It’s certainly not a polished sound. The conductor or other music teacher is usually running around, helping students do last-minute tunings. Then, as the warm-up nears its end, the conductor takes the podium and has each section play a few different notes. It’s interesting to me how the conductor can detect an instrument out there somewhere that’s not tuned correctly, and he or she will have the different students of that section play, one at a time, until they’ve found the errant instrument and made adjustments.
Finally, after introductions, the conductor once again takes the podium and indicates to the musicians to prepare to play. The conductor is usually the most interesting person to watch. I’ve seen a number of them in the concerts my kids have been a part of. Sometimes they’re energetic, other times not so much. Some are very straight-laced, and others have a little more flair. They’re all very talented, and they try to coax excellence out of their musicians.
Depending on the size of the group of students, the conductor has a lot to keep an eye on. The kids all have different energy levels for a concert. Some are calm beyond their years. Others have nervous energy that leaks out in the form of a foot that doesn’t stop tapping, a knee that doesn’t stop bouncing, or a head that doesn’t stop bobbing or swaying. The conductor has to manage the enthusiasm of the entire body. Many times the energy accompanying the excitement of the evening nearly boils over, and the pace or volume needs to be reigned in a little bit. Later in the concert, maybe in a section where one of the students wasn’t able to show up for the concert, the others in that section need to come up with a little more than they otherwise would have. It’s fun to see when the conductor points to a section and beckons them silently, but urgently, as if to say “c’mon, I need more from you!” As the piece builds and builds, it gets to the point the conductor has been waiting for, where their arms flail about and they nod their head emphatically as if to say “now!”
Part of the real enjoyment of a concert is the fact that all these musicians are contributing to something larger than themselves. Those parts my kids have been practicing over and over are definitely audible, but I also hear plenty of parts from other instruments I haven’t been hearing at home. Those parts are stitched together to produce something none of the individual instruments could have produced on their own. At some point in a good concert I’m just kind of overcome with awe: “This is how it’s supposed to be. Everyone’s doing something different, but they’re all working together toward a common goal.”
It’s a beautiful metaphor for the body of Christ. Even though we might possess similar gifts as others and might be grouped into sections, we still play a variety of instruments. Some are gifted at evangelism while others excel at teaching. Certain people have the gift of helps, or hospitality, or exhortation; others possess talents like administration, leadership, or compassion. Even the odd instruments that don’t have an appealing sound (like the slapper or the clunky bells with a tinny sound) contribute beneficially to the piece. They often punctuate the music in a memorable way. Yep, we have lots of those folks in the body of Christ, and I’m thankful for them!
Through all of this, the most important thing is to keep your eyes on the conductor. It’s easy to get distracted by the person next to you, or getting too far ahead of yourself thinking about the difficult part coming up, or even having your timing thrown off. Watching the conductor keeps you grounded and dealing only with the here and now, it keeps you on the right beat, and it tells you when to start and when to stop. Don’t lose sight of the one who can see everybody and who’s holding everything together. Follow the conductor’s lead and you’ll contribute something beautiful to something larger than yourself.
This past weekend my family went to a Tobymac concert.
For those who don’t know, Tobymac is a Christian recording artist. At this point he’s been around for a long time; he initially gained fame as part of the Christian rock/rap group DC Talk, then began a solo career once they disbanded. He used to do a lot of high-energy songs that found their way into my workout playlist, and while he still does some of that, his style has evolved over time to include a pretty wide variety of music types.
When I was a kid I listened to a Christian singer named Steven Curtis Chapman. I wouldn’t say he was a country singer, but he definitely had a folksy twang as part of his sound. On one of his albums, he collaborated with a young Tobymac, who was part of DC Talk at the time, on a song called “Got To B Tru.” For this particular song, Steven Curtis Chapman (folksy twang) decided he was going to jump into the obnoxious rap scene popular in the early 90’s (the kind Tobymac was a part of). It was a fun crossover, and it helped raise Tobymac’s profile to have such a well-known artist as Steven Curtis Chapman work on a song with him.
I then started paying attention to Tobymac in the early 2000s when I heard a song of his make it onto some kind of rock compilation album I picked up somewhere. Then in 2007 or 2008 my young wife and I went to see him in concert for the first time as part of his “Portable Sounds” tour. As I’ve continued paying attention to his work, it’s become obvious that he was very grateful for the opportunity as a young artist to work with a headliner, and he’s done numerous collaborations with younger or less-well-known performers since gaining his own success.
This past weekend while our family waited for him to take the stage, four different acts came out and performed a set list of their own. Some of these singers I’ve never heard of, but in most cases I knew at least one of the songs they performed. Truth be told, Tobymac was the guy I came to see, and I would have been fine if I only saw his act. These other performers, though, benefit from being on tour with a more seasoned veteran.
Even though few, if any, members of the audience came to see these other acts, being on a tour like this provides them with valuable learning opportunities. They gain experience learning how to work the crowd. They learn a bit about how to craft their stage presence. They might discover things they should not attempt while on stage. These four acts were in various stages of development, and a couple of them could probably soon start to go on tours of their own. It might be a little much for them to scrape together enough startup cash to plan a tour of their own right now, but being in a positions where they can borrow a piece of equipment from someone else on the tour if a speaker’s on the fritz gives them more of a cushion and some experience dealing with unanticipated problems on the road that will benefit them later in their career.
I’m not going to pretend taking four warm-up acts on the road is totally out of the goodness of Tobymac’s heart; I’m sure there’s some kind of financial benefit involved for him. Even so, he likely had to go out of his way to convince a few folks to include more than two or three opening acts on the tour. Whoever those final additions to the tour were, I’m sure they benefitted from it.
In your life, is there someone you could take under your wing and help to get started, either in their career, their ministry, or in some other aspect of their life? I’m sure you’ve gained a lot of hard-fought lessons that only come from experience. While many younger folks out there may not care to benefit from it, there are probably others who would. Even though it might add a little inconvenience, would you consider helping them out as they try to get some direction or some momentum?
Lord, thank you so much for those who’ve come before me and lent me a hand, some good advice, or some encouragement along the way. Help me use the lessons I’ve learned to help others who aren’t as far along as I am. Amen.
It’s funny just how much kids can teach you about God’s dealings with us.
I’ve got three kids; a girl, a boy, and another girl. They all have different approaches when they know it’s time to leave the house.
My oldest is very deliberate, and spends a lot of time planning to avoid feeling rushed. As long as she knows the departure time, she’ll work backwards from there to calculate time for clothes, time for hair, time for gathering necessities, etc.
My son doesn’t take much time to get ready. After years of urging him to prepare, get shoes on, and use the bathroom in preparation for departure, he’s demonstrated that as long as he knows what’s coming, there’s really no need to call him until we’re about 60 seconds from actually walking out the door.
My youngest is funny. We’ll warn her about our impending departure, but she’ll stay wrapped up in a book for as long as possible. When we tell her it’s time to get shoes on because we’re leaving, that’s when she goes and packs a snack and some water. We end up waiting for her because her idea of “time to go” doesn’t jive with ours.
Based on their three different personalities, we treat them differently when we know about a deadline or timeframe we want to adhere to. The three of them need different sets of guardrails to arrive at the same end state. Their approach might be to have all questions answered before formulating a detailed plan, agreeing to the task without having much information at all, or just bobbing along with whatever today brings.
Now, keeping that parenting analogy in mind, how great is it to be known by a Creator who understands us better than we do? He knows what motivates us, what overwhelms us, what inspires us, and what deflates us. He knows exactly what we need when it’s time to get us moving in a certain direction.
Similarly, we’re all offered different opportunities to take part in building Christ’s kingdom throughout our Christian lives. We’re not required to do them, but different sets of blessings and challenges come along with each one. God already knows which of those opportunities we’ll take part in and which of them we’ll decline. He offers us invitations that are easy to accept, and others which prove to be more difficult. I imagine that while He enjoys seeing us accept those easy ones, it brings Him genuine joy to see us choose to accept the hard ones.
So the next time you know God’s extending a challenge to you, even if it’s one you don’t want to accept, why don’t you take a closer look at taking Him up on it? He knows you better than you do, and He’s going to give you everything you need to take on that challenge. Either in this life or the next, there’s a special blessing for you on the other side of your obedience.
I enjoyed showing various video clips to my kids when they were little. When she was a toddler, I showed my youngest daughter a computer-generated animation accompanied by “Twinkle, twinkle little star.” It was slow-paced, so it easily held the attention of young little eyes. This particular version, about two and a half minutes long, featured an owl who looked up at the night sky and decided to fly up high to get a better look at a star hovering above.
As he flew to a great height, the star came to greet him. The two new friends frolicked along the tops of clouds for a bit, to the owl’s great enjoyment. It was utter happiness for the two, sharing these magical moments. Alas, all things come to an end, and eventually the owl began to fall back to earth as the star watched, waving goodbye, ending this brief friendship.
My daughter watched, captivated, until this part. As she saw the look in the owl’s eyes, along with the star’s farewell wave, a profound sadness came over her and she began to cry. This was a completely unexpected reaction. Of course children want to be in the presence of their own mother from a very young age, but it turns out even a child too young to write her name understands the importance of togetherness and the pain of separation in others. Communion and fellowship are hardwired into us; we need others.
After we slip from this life into the next, there are only two possibilities for how we’ll spend eternity. The first is joyful bliss in the everlasting presence of the Lord. The second is the shock and pain of isolation from Him. When we picture Hell, we often think of fire. While eternal smoke from unbelievers is described in the Bible (Revelation 14:11), I think we usually miss the fact that folks in this category have no chance of ever getting right with, and spending time with the Almighty, other than standing before Him in judgment. While Christians can rest in the idea of Christ’s love, those who reject Him will themselves be rejected and cast into an existence of separation from Him (and likely everyone else).
Just a little reminder of what’s at stake here. You might very well be the only person to speak Christ to someone else. Don’t worry about messing it up. They’re already facing the worst-case scenario: eternity separated from the Lord. You can’t make it any worse, but you can help them gain the only thing that matters. Start a conversation today.
