No Holding Back

The November after I graduated college, I took an adventure trip to Australia. One of the parts of the trip I was most excited about was the trip out to the Great Barrier Reef. I had never been scuba diving before, and the Great Barrier Reef was like, legendary from everything I’d heard. During this portion of the trip we all got on a boat that took us miles from shore, and we stayed out there for two overnights.

The crew operating the dive tour took us to several different locations known to be good diving spots. Once they securely anchored the boat at a given dive site, we waited for a designated time window before we could go in the water. Safety observers needed to be in position, and we needed to receive a dive brief where we learned about the features of the area, where to avoid, can’t-miss sites, and what depth limits we should not break. During this leg of my Australian trip, I had the opportunity to do about a dozen trips into the water, either snorkeling or scuba diving.

For those of us that were not scuba certified on this trip, we could pay a bit extra on some of the outings and a staff member would teach us enough to get by, and would be our dive buddy and personal guide during that particular dive. I wasn’t going to come all the way to Australia and NOT go scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef. Since it wasn’t cheap though, I got a good mix of scuba dives and regular snorkeling.

The reef was an amazing thing to see, especially the amount and variety of life that lived there. The reef itself sounded like it was fizzing and popping. When snorkeling, I would hold my breath and dive down to get a closer look at some of the gorgeous sites. While snorkeling, there was so much to see, even if you only dove down a few feet. I started diving down more than a few feet, though. Equipped with flippers, I was able to swim deep a little easier than normal. The more you do it, the more your body gets used to it. A few times I dove down deep enough to be on the same level as some of the divers.

On our last day at sea, our last dive was coming up, and I was going to spend this dive snorkeling. We all got into the water and started going our separate ways. I was kind of swimming around aimlessly when I noticed a very large concrete block down on the sea floor. It was one of the weights our boat anchored to. It was pretty far down there. I decided I was going to try to get all the way down to it.

The first time I tried, I started swimming straight down just to see how far I could comfortably go. I wore a wetsuit that provided some buoyancy, and lungs full of air also helped keep me afloat. The deeper I went though, the more the water pressure compressed everything, so the buoyancy of my lungs and suit had less effect. I gave it a half-hearted shot, but got nowhere near my goal before I turned around and swam back to the surface.

I recovered on the surface for awhile, but wanted to try again. I took a few quick, deep breaths, and then surged straight down again. I kicked hard, driving deeper. I got much closer to the block on the floor, but started getting concerned about not having enough air to make it back, so again I turned around early and headed up. Coming up from the depths has the opposite effect of going deep; your buoyancy increases as you get closer to the surface. As I got shallower, I could feel myself rising through the water more quickly, even if I slowed my kicking.

I spent some more time resting and letting my breathing return to normal before making another shot without holding anything back. I did the quick breathing thing again and dove hard with the most air I could possibly fit into my lungs. Again, I swam hard straight down, pushing back more firmly against the nerves and survival instinct the deeper I went. The block on the ocean floor became larger and larger, and as I drew nearer I became more determined to reach it. It was almost within my reach!

Finally, after a swim straight down and what seemed like forever, I reached the block on the ocean floor. With a major sense of accomplishment, I flipped over and placed my feet on the block. I took a moment to look down at my feet on the concrete, then to look around at this place I had fought so hard to get to.

Then I looked up. If we could go back and see what I looked like, we’d probably see the color drain from my face. On a free dive, being the deepest you’ve ever been also means that you are physically the furthest away from oxygen that you’ve ever been. Never, either before or since, have I seen such a large aquatic distance that I had to cover so quickly. I became so focused on reaching my goal that I lost sight of the fact that the trip to the block was only half of the swim.

I shot off the block and began kicking furiously. I wasn’t far off the block before my lungs started burning. I kicked as hard as I could, and tried a few strokes with my arms, but that almost felt like it slowed me down. Have you ever held your breath so long that your diaphragm starts going into convulsions? It’s your body’s natural reflex, as though it’s trying to force you to take a breath. More than halfway up, my diaphragm started convulsing. It’s one thing if you’re sitting on the couch seeing how long you can hold your breath, but it’s different when the muscle controlling your lungs starts having spasms underwater, and I got worried that I wasn’t going to make the surface without inhaling a lungful of seawater.

As I tried to keep my body from betraying me, I noticed that I was rushing through the water. The air in my lungs and wetsuit had expanded enough that it was again making me buoyant, and my buoyancy was increasing as I moved toward the surface. The water at this point was rushing past my face, and I could feel its flow anywhere my skin was exposed to the water. Compared to being at depth, my lungs were now so full they felt like they were about to explode, yet the air within them was all but used up.

I needed air so badly that I didn’t even want to waste time exhaling after breaking the surface. With nothing left to spare, I blew out halfway just before breaking the surface and took the most grateful gasp of fresh air I’ve ever taken in my life. Looking back at my notes from the trip, I estimated at the time that the concrete block on the ocean floor was about 10-12 meters, or about 35 feet, below the surface.

My muscles were spent from the furious swim and the lack of oxygen, and I floated there panting as my wetsuit kept me from sinking. After resting awhile, I was able to swim back to the boat and make it safely aboard.

Have you ever thought about how, when you feel you’re doing everything you possibly can, and it’s still not enough, the Holy Spirit can cover the gap? The way the wetsuit worked is sort of the same way the Holy Spirit does; it’s there, wrapped around you and pushing you toward where you need to go. I’ve met amazing people that have endured unbelievable hardships that have drained them of any strength they held in reserve. When you ask them how they got through it, their answer usually has something to do God’s grace. It might be “peace that passes understanding.” Hearing their story and knowing that they withstood things that would make the average person buckle or tap out reminds me that the Holy Spirit empowers Christ-followers with the things they need for the task at hand, even if that task is nothing more ordinary than to make it through the day.

This isn’t just for people with extraordinary stories, like Samson or King David; it’s for you and I, too. When we’re in the midst of excruciating trials or facing an insurmountable obstacle, God gives us what we need to “make it back to the surface.” Then, when it’s all over and we’re completely spent, He’s there keeping us afloat while we catch our breath, sustaining us long enough for us to make it back to safety.

“Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27

“And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness.”Acts 4:31