Month: July 2021

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When Your Mind is Used Against You

I’ve got a theory that might help explain some of the chaos in our country right now.

People are wired differently. That’s not really something that’s in dispute. It used to be that people could have different opinions and it was acceptable to agree to disagree.

I’m not going to take credit for this theory that I’ll describe; there are some books out there on the subject, but I think it’s important to pass the word along right now. I’m going to use a couple of terms that, on the surface, might sound derogatory. That’s not my intent; I think you’ll see what I mean if you give me a chance to explain it. It has nothing to do with IQ or level of intelligence.

Have you ever heard something that infuriated you? Your vision went red, your fists clenched, and you were ready to scream or take a shot at someone. This immediate, visceral reaction is what’s called “fast thinking.” It’s the knee-jerk reflex that almost seems to bypass your brain. It’s an amygdala hijack that overwhelms your thought processes. The emotions and feelings you encounter during the situation affect your decision making, and you react instinctively. On a much smaller scale it could be something as simple as making an impulse buy. Many times store displays and floor plans make it easier for the vendor to take advantage of a shopper’s inclination to be influenced to make unplanned purchases. It capitalizes on your brain’s wiring to stoke the urge to buy something you had no intention of purchasing.

Maybe the next day, after you’re at home, you take a look at whatever you bought, and thought “why in the world did I pick that up?” It’s why it’s a good idea to “sleep on” a big decision before going through with it. The emotions that clouded your vision earlier have significantly faded, and you make your decisions based more in rationality or logic. It’s the Mr. Spock version of approaching a decision point. The emotions were there and may have dominated the early thoughts, but you’ve had time to work through them. You can clearly remember how you felt when you were first presented with the choice, but you look at the situation differently if you focus on facts rather than the way things made you feel. Because the process takes longer to work through, this is called “slow thinking.”

Think “the tortoise and the hare.” The hare (your emotional thinking) is what takes off like a shot right out of the gate. Only when it’s run its course and laid down for a nap can the tortoise (rational thinking) catch up. The hare doesn’t know where it’s going, it relies on speed more than judgment. The tortoise had time to plot the route and formulate a plan as it was going, even though the hare was running circles around it, being a big distraction in the process.

Now, in light of that, let me ask you this. Think about how you keep up with current events. Are the stories presented in ways that appeal to the fast thinking or to the slow thinking portions of your mind’s processing center?

The way I see it, TV news coverage is designed to inflame your emotions. You’re shown images that anger you, sadden you, and because news coverage persists around the clock and the networks have to fill air time, they add commentary that may or may not be based in fact. The news dwells on a shocking topic until the emotional pull begins to fade or something more shocking breaks. It becomes an endless cycle of running from one head-shaking story to the next, all the while failing to report on the lead story from a few days ago, where new developments have revealed that the initial reporting was incomplete or erroneous. That information, or corrections/retractions, rarely see the light of day, because by then you’ve already been shuffled on to the next thing and you’re led to think of the story as “old news.”

Since feel-good news doesn’t provide that same shock value, many times it’s simply not covered. It’s not often you come away from TV news coverage with a warm fuzzy about what you’ve seen. You’re more likely to walk away from the TV feeling high levels of anxiety or emotionally wrung out.

So how do you keep up with current events without dealing with this phenomenon? Consider instead looking at a news source’s website. If you like a certain network, that’s fine, stick with that network’s website. I’d recommend not using just one source, though. Journalists are no longer known for being thorough or presenting all sides of an event. I’m not talking about streaming the feed from that website, I’m saying read the stories instead of watching them. Reading them, rather than being pelted with images and commentary at the speed of someone else’s choosing, allows you to go at your own pace, and lets you digest the facts (if presented) at your own speed.

Today’s visual news coverage is intended to evoke an emotional response from you and divide you from your fellow Americans. News coverage is supposed to present facts and some context, but today’s coverage is light on fact, heavy on repetition, and includes more opinion and speculation than information.

It’s important to keep tabs on world events, certainly, but if you’d like my unsolicited advice, don’t spend more than about half an hour a day getting caught up with what’s going on in the world. You’ve got to get back to doing whatever it is that God put you here to do, and it’s best to do that without getting worked up into a tizzy by someone that’s trying to do exactly that.

Lord, I’m human, and fully susceptible to the pitfalls of how my mind is wired. Help me to recognize the ways my brain’s wiring is used against me and not fall for it, staying focused on finding and fulfilling Your purpose for me here in this life. Amen

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Don’t Make Plans To Fail

For a few summers I was a lifeguard at a Christian conference center. One time there was a youth retreat going on when I was on duty at the pool that had a pair of diving boards. One of the youth leaders, Allen, was having fun racing the teenage guys in the pool.

It’s important to understand that Allen was middle-aged and wasn’t quite at his “fighting weight” anymore. Just about all of the young bucks at the pool that day could have smoked him in a 100-yard dash or pushup contest. You wouldn’t look at him and think that he was all that quick in the water. What they didn’t know was that Allen had spent a ton of time in the pool as a young man, and as a longtime member of the swim team, had practiced countless entries into the water, converting his momentum into underwater speed. Before he got into youth work, he was my lifeguarding boss (and we even got into a very sticky situation on the water).

From my lifeguard chair I had the best seat in the house. Allen took on all comers; he and any challenger would both start on a diving board, and on a signal they’d both take off running, dive in, and race to the far side of the pool.

It just wasn’t fair. It was so lop-sided that it stopped being fun for the challengers. Allen started giving them all kinds of advantages. He gave them the higher diving board while he took the lower one. He gave them a head start. He’d only be allowed to have one full stroke to make the far side.

It was close a few times, but nobody seemed able to beat him. A trend started to emerge though. Suddenly, as though it were contagious, many of the young guys would develop “leg cramps” during the race, which was obviously the reason they couldn’t keep up. It got to the point where, even standing in line, challengers would accurately predict that they’d cramp up during their race.

These guys were setting the table for their own failures. Failure is easier to tolerate when there’s an excuse for it, even if the excuse is flimsy or fake. I won’t lie, these guys were outmatched, but setting the table for your own failure, or purposely arranging an excuse for yourself, is giving yourself license to not try your hardest.

How many Christians out there today intentionally do not try their hardest to live the life that Christ has called them to? There’s no denying that a life completely dedicated to Christ is one that’s laced with struggle, exhaustion, agony, hours spent pleading with God…and unparalleled rewards. Yet so many of us set the table for our own failures. Imagine if we could talk with everyone that’s slipped from this life into Heaven, the honest answers we’d get if we started asking questions. “I didn’t give God my all during that life because…”

I believe the day is coming when some of Christianity’s practices or views will be outlawed or “canceled” here in the United States, the very country that was founded for the purpose of practicing freedom of religion. Since we’re not there yet, consider taking advantage of the religious freedoms we currently have. God has a purpose for your life, and He’s calling you to follow hard after Him. No excuses.

Lord God, we know in our heads that this life isn’t the permanent one, but the loud sounds, the bright lights, and the sparkly things here in this life seem like they’re able to distract us more than they should. Please help us have the right priorities, no more excuses, and a willingness to make sacrifices now for the sake of an eternity of satisfaction at having glorified Your name. Amen

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Go Ahead, Break the Mold

Our world is changing, and it’s changing very quickly.

Let’s look, for example, at the business model that Christians use to reach unsaved people. It used to be that we (Christians) would invite people to come to church, or maybe a Christmas program, so that the people we invite could hear the message that someone else delivers. Or maybe we’d support missionaries in bringing Jesus to the natives of some far-off land. There’s nothing wrong with those things, but “inviting people” or “supporting missionaries” aren’t spiritual gifts. They’re important functions, but it’s also important to remember those that speak from a pulpit or travel to foreign lands are not the only ones with holy ministries.

Maybe this general attitude of “buck passing” is what’s led to the condition of the church now.

Every church is made up of imperfect people, so a church is never perfect, but these days it seems like things have gone off the rails. Many individual Christians have lost sight of the fact that Christ is the most important thing in their lives. It’s now common to have Christians (even members of the same church) torch each other over, of all things, politics or whether or not to get the COVID vaccine. I’m talking, like, vicious attacks, burning bridges kind of stuff. It’s as though these folks honestly believe that expressing their opinion is more important than the commission we’ve all been given to point others to Christ.

Jesus didn’t shy away from the controversial issues of the day, but He also rolled up His sleeves. He met people’s needs as a way of getting them to pay attention to what He had to say. People these days who think their spiritual gift is to gaslight other Christians on social media have lost sight of their priorities.

The thing that’s supposed to set us apart has now become a rarity. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. –John 13:35

In a time like this, we need people that are willing to live their lives for Christ in ways that are not commonplace. The ways that you can show love for or meet the needs of your neighbor are limited only by your imagination. People out there are struggling not only with the basics of food, water, and shelter, but are struggling with anxiety, infertility, holding a job, PTSD, insecurity, a special needs child, depression, bullying, or any number of other problems. Some of you reading this may have experience in one or more of those areas, and could be specially equipped to come alongside others currently facing that struggle. You may be considering taking a bold step to help meet someone’s needs, in the process opening the door to share Christ, but you’re hesitant because it seems too risky.

It’s not really my place to give it, but sometimes people feel like they need to hear it from someone…so, if that includes you, let me try to help out: you have my permission…go ahead and break the mold. You’re uniquely suited to do incredible things if you’ll allow God to use you. Reach people for Christ in a way that is nontraditional, is unusual, or hasn’t been done before. You were made for this! There are just two criteria you need to abide by: Love Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and you are free to do anything short of sin to point other people to Him.

I don’t know who you are or what your plan is, but if you’re meeting those two criteria…I’m rooting for you.

In signing off, here’s a song by Jen Ledger that speaks to this topic. She herself broke the mold, and may inspire others to do the same.

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Quick Hit: What Does the World Think of the Church?

Christ commanded us to go out and share the Gospel with people. That’s one of the jobs of the people that make up the Church.

Lots of folks, wanting to get more people into church on Sunday mornings, naturally ask the question “how can we get the world to like us more?” Sadly, there’s only one answer: be more like the world.

Sorry, that’s not why the Church is here. We’re here to point the way to everlasting life and fellowship with our creator. If the world likes the Church, we probably need to take a closer look at what’s actually happening. Conforming to the world waters down the message and pulls us off that mission. When we spend time worrying about what the world thinks of the Church, we’re likely not focusing on getting out there and being the Church.

Christ wasn’t afraid to offend people. He came to bring truth, which is what we’re to do, too. We point the way and let others make up their own mind. Many will ignore us, or even laugh at us. That’s their right, but it’s not an excuse for us to stop spreading the message.

Be the Church.

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Your Money Can’t Work for you if Someone Already has Dibs on it

I’m not sure why I didn’t realize this earlier, but it recently occurred to me that lots of people get themselves into trouble when it comes to money and I might be able to help them by offering a few tips.

I’m speaking specifically about debt in this case. Maybe you’ve learned about debt the hard way, or maybe nobody’s ever told you the basics before, but my goal for this post is to help some people get on the right track to worrying less about their financial situation so they can focus more on the purpose God’s given them. After all, with high levels of debt, it’s easier to lose focus on striving toward becoming the person God wants you to be. If you’re weighed down by worry about your debt load, I’d like to help you get started on a path that allows you to reach more of your God-given potential.

Money itself isn’t a bad thing, but a love of it is dangerous. Money is a valuable tool in this life. Having the knowledge to wield that tool effectively means you have the capacity to accomplish more by using it wisely, preferably to the glory of God. Because debt might be holding you back from doing the stuff God wants you to do, here’s some practical insight.

We’ll start with the basics. Let’s say you owe a lot of money to credit card companies. I can give you the first couple of steps you need to take, but it’s important for you to realize that even if you dig yourself out of debt, you’ll probably end up right back in the same hole if you don’t curb your tendency to buy stuff you can’t afford. That’s something you’re going to need to address right away. Make the switch to only paying cash if you need to. (Having to physically hand over something tangible has a way of making people question whether or not the purchase is actually necessary or if it’s more of a luxury.) Alternatively, enact a rule that you won’t ever buy something the first day you think about it. Forcing yourself to “sleep on” such decisions will help you cut out a lot of impulse buys.

Ok, after you get a handle on spending habits, the hard work begins. Here come three steps to follow. Each step should be completed (or nearly completed) before moving on to the next step.

(Before I get started, a note to the parents of kids under 18. Starting this month the Federal Government is giving advance payments each month for the rest of the year that will total half of the year’s child tax credit. If you normally have to pay taxes when you file, don’t spend this money, because getting an advance on your tax credit is going to result in a larger tax bill when you actually file. If you normally get a refund though, this is a great place to start for step 1.)

Step 1: Using money you can scrounge from your budget, money you can swing from a side gig, or even irregular windfalls like stimulus money, yard sale proceeds, or gifts, save up $500-2500 for your emergency fund. You determine the amount by looking at where you are on the scale of expenses. If someone else pays your rent and you take either public transportation or a ride-sharing service to get where you need to go, it’s okay to shoot for the lower end. If you have a mortgage and a vehicle or two, shoot for the upper end. This money is not to be spent unless…you guessed it…there’s an emergency. Cars break down, kids destroy stuff, water heaters reach the end of their life and quit working. The idea is to avoid going further into debt for unexpected expenses, and life is full of unexpected expenses. This money should be available quickly (not locked up in a certificate of deposit, for example), and should be considered your new “zero balance.”  That means if you’re keeping $500 as your minimum, $500 in your account actually means you have zero. A balance of $510 means you have $10 to play with. The emergency fund is not to be used for regular bills…your regular bills should be covered by your budget. This is not for celebrations, splurges, or any sort of “I want” situation. The emergency fund is kept for unexpected but necessary expenses. If you use money from your emergency fund when you’re in a later step, halt progress on that later step until you replenish your emergency fund.

Step 2: Start tackling the debt. This is the one that takes time and persistence. After you’ve established your emergency fund, continue using the same type of income you were saving to build the emergency fund and instead apply it toward paying more than the minimum payment on your credit card bills. Credit card statements are now required to have a section that tells you how long it will take you to pay off your balance if you only make the minimum payment. By taking several months to pay off a purchase, you’re not getting away with anything…you’re actually inflicting a good amount of financial harm on yourself. With high interest rates in the teens, even a minor balance will take a ridiculously long time (and a ridiculously large amount of money) to pay off a small balance. So if you want to get out of debt, you’re going to have to make more than the minimum payment on your accounts. The best way to use a credit card is to pay off the balance in full every month. (And no, don’t just buy stuff to get the points or rewards for your credit card’s rewards program!)

Lots of people that are heavily in debt carry balances on multiple accounts, and they play a version of a shell game to shuffle the debts around from one account to another while carrying a debt load on yet another account. If you really want to get out of debt, you need to make your money work more efficiently for you. Let’s say you’ve got five accounts that you’re reliably making minimum payments on. It’s good that you’re meeting your obligations, but let’s start retiring some of those debts. Now that you’ve built your emergency fund, it’s time to keep the momentum going. The additional funds you were using to establish your emergency fund should now be added to the minimum payment of one of your accounts. Even if it’s only an extra $20 per paycheck, add it to the minimum payment you’re making on one of the accounts.

Your success will likely depend on the type of person you are. If your attitude is “I want to get out of debt without paying one cent more than I have to,” then your plan should be to start throwing all the extra money you can possibly muster at the account that’s charging the highest interest rate, regardless of how large the different balances are. Once you pay that off, you’ve grown the potency of your arsenal; you’ll now be able to use the money you used to build your emergency fund plus the amount you used to make the minimum payments on the account you just paid off. If your monthly minimum payment was $30, your new capability will be that $30 per month plus the amount you used to build your emergency fund. One of your debts is paid off and you’re gaining momentum.

This strategy is the one that makes the most rational sense, but in reality it can be disheartening for some people because it might feel like it takes forever to make any progress. If you know you’re going to need some small victories to encourage you along the way, you may need a different approach. If that’s you, take a look at your complete list of debts and start making extra payments on the account with the smallest balance. Add whatever additional principal you can to the minimum payment, and keep chipping away at it until that balance is down to zero. After that, do the same thing as in the other example: add your newfound cash flow to the minimum payment on a different debt. The bigger the debt that you pay off, the more cash flow you’ll be able to create and apply to paying off other debts.

The idea is to concentrate your extra cash on one account at a time. By all means, continue making your minimum payments on all your accounts, but any leftover capacity you’ve got should be directed at only one account. (If you’ve got an extra $20 a month for paying down debt, it’s better to throw that whole extra $20 at one account rather than throwing an extra $4 at five different accounts. Persistence is important, hang in there. It may take some time, but being debt-free is within your grasp!

Step 3: Built your savings large enough to contain at least three months (but up to six months’ worth) of living expenses. Even without global pandemics, this is a common goal for a lot of folks. Mortgage or rent payments are likely going to be the largest expense, but don’t forget car payments (if applicable), grocery bills, utility bills, any subscriptions that you don’t plan to cut in the event of financial hardship, insurance expenses, gasoline/commuter costs, and anything like alimony or child support payments. Layoffs, natural disasters, market downturns, and any number of other triggers can set off a financial catastrophe for earners, and having a cushion large enough to last you a few months will give you more options as you await resolution (find a new job, wait for the insurance check to arrive, sell your house, or whatever that resolution looks like).

By the time you’ve completed all three of these steps, you’re in a much better situation than you were before you started. Persistence and focus are your key assets in this fight.

You don’t have to be religious to put this advice to good use. Know someone that could benefit from it? Please pass this along to them. Too many Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. Whatever your life story or wherever you come from, our society is better off if people and families can effectively manage their cash flow and keep their financial house in order. Spread the word!