When it comes to serving God, we all have different niches. Though not all niches benefit from a “go big or go home” attitude, I like the idea that if you’re not thinking so big that it scares you, you’re not giving God enough room to make something incredible happen.
Of course it’s easier to talk about these kinds of things than it is to do them. I’ve got a “bigger-than-me” undertaking going on, and I feel like giving periodic updates here will help keep me accountable and making forward progress. I also believe that being transparent with what’s going on, including some of the challenges I face, may help others that are struggling with getting the pursuit of their calling off the ground.
Back in February I shared that I felt called to write a series of seven fiction books that were each 40,000 to 50,000 words. That’s not a small task. That’s a bare minimum of 280,000 words. I’ve got some experience writing this blog, but I’ve never published a book before! I’ve never come close to writing something that big! I’m able to articulate concepts and principles, which worked well in academic papers, but that’s a totally different animal from creative writing. My academic pursuits are more in the sciences, rather than communications. By most accounts, I’m out of my depth…but since I feel like God’s called me to this goal, being out of my depth isn’t an excuse to skip it. One of the ways God is glorified most is in the success of His inadequate, imperfect, and unqualified followers.
Each person’s combination of spiritual gifts, resources, and interests is as unique as their fingerprints. I know that not everybody is called to be an author, but I believe each Christian is called to use their gifts, whatever they may be, for God’s glory. You may not identify with everything I’m about to cover here, but I’ll try to highlight a few things that may be helpful to those grappling with pursuit of a calling in their own lives that seems too big to take on.
The toughest part was definitely getting started. I think that holds true for most large endeavors. If you focus on how much you still have left to do, it gets overwhelming. The important part is to just get going. Before I started writing text, I sat down and drew out a rough plan for how the overall series would go. There were (and still are) lots of details that I don’t yet have figured out. The plan evolved a bit as I started mapping it out; the blueprint I’m using now is not the same as my first version. Overall, the most important thing was to just get going.
I noticed that for me, I’m still pretty wobbly on how some of the background or plot points are going to weave together. There are some sections of the stories where I know exactly what I want to have happen, though. Those are the ones I go with first, and if I use those as pillars for the construction of the rest of the story, it helps other pieces fall into place. If you can’t see the whole picture, focus on developing the stuff that you know will be part of the process.
I’m looking at coming up with seven individual stories that are all woven together into a larger one. Not only is that a lot of creative effort, it’s a lot of stuff to keep track of mentally. Sometimes it seems like there’s a hurricane happening inside my head. Inspiration for one or more of the stories hits at the strangest times. If I don’t write it down right away, there’s no guarantee it’s going to come back again. When you have the (mental clarity, vision, burst of creativity, focus, etc.) but can’t capitalize on it right then and there, capture what you need to capture in order to capitalize on it later.
I sketched out the blueprint for the series and then naturally started writing Book 1. A flurry of ideas kept flying around, though. I’d write down notes for something to include in a given book or to weave somewhere into the series. I started Book 2 before long because I either got in a rut or got bored with working on Book 1. During the whole time, though, the one I was most jazzed about was Book 5. Ideas kept coming and coming, and right now I have over 20 pages of ideas and notes for that one story. I stalled for as long as I could, but eventually I started writing Book 5. It’s out of sequence, yes, but if the goal is to get seven books done, does it matter which one gets done first? Making progress is making progress. Some may see it as putting the cart before the horse, but if you can see a method to the madness, don’t shut the door on doing things out of order.
The 40-50,000 word target was just that…a target. After giving this a shot, some individual books might be shorter and others may be way longer. What if Book 6 has a Volume I and Volume II? I don’t know…but there are some things I don’t need to have figured out right now. Don’t make “perfect” the enemy of “good.” Keep on doing your thing; deal with today’s problems today and deal with tomorrow’s problems tomorrow.
So where do I stand today with this project? Right now I’m more than 22,000 words into Book 1, 8-10,000 words into Book 2, and over 13,000 words into Book 5. I’m nowhere near being done, but you know what? That’s more than 40,000 words, and that’s more than 10% of the way into the low end of the goal. Something that once looked like a mammoth task now looks much more do-able.
Maybe the most significant thing I’m learning in this process is the peace, focus, and contentment that come from living in your calling. If this is truly what God put me on this earth to do, then I’m built for this. It’s kind of tough to describe; it’s not as though I lived in turmoil before this, but my mind feels more settled knowing what it’s supposed to be throwing its effort into. In my case, getting started on this thing was more of a relief, an outlet for that pent-up sense of unsettledness. It’s as if I’m a screwdriver that’s been used as a hammer or a wrench for as long as I can remember, and have recently been introduced to the way I’m supposed to be used.
Finally, I’m very blessed to have a strong faith in God. I believe with all my heart that God can do anything, but that doesn’t mean He’ll do the things I think He’ll do them or the way I think He should do them. This whole thing may be a spectacular failure that serves a purpose I can’t yet see. On the other hand, I may be thinking entirely too small. I happen to think that Book 5 would make a decent movie with a solid TV spinoff for a season or two, and a great video game. A Christian multimedia company wasn’t really in my plans when this train first pulled out of the station, but I’m not the one driving the train. I have to cling loosely to ideas and recognize that they’re Gods in the first place, not mine…I’m just trying to honor Him with my obedience. There are still plenty of things standing in the way. Finding the time and/or energy to keep writing, tracking down a publisher that will give me a chance, struggling with making the details line up in a way that makes sense…they’re all very real challenges that I’ll need to fight. I’m not alone, though. Like I said earlier…if I was truly called to this purpose, I’m custom built to overcome the challenges, especially if God is paving the way for me.
How about you? Are you still a square peg in a round hole that’s trying to figure out how to find their place? I’ll leave you with a link to an inspirational video I heard today. If you don’t have time to watch the whole thing, just watch the first few minutes, especially if you’re trying to figure out what your calling might be.
