Halloween is coming up, and it takes me back to some old memories.
When I was in…probably 3rd or 4th grade, our whole class was encouraged to dress up for Halloween. I think all the classes were going to be part of a costume parade or something. This particular year I was going to dress up as a pirate. It was cool, I think I had an eye patch, a fake scar or something, and even a clip-on earring that would help complete the look.
I also had an idea for a more controversial item to complement the costume. My aunt knew of my love of the outdoors, and in her travels she found something she thought I’d like. She gave me a novelty knife. The handle was actually made out of a deer hoof, so it was pretty unique. The blade itself was very dull, but the point was very sharp. Maybe it was something a pirate would carry, I dunno, but it looked kinda cool, and I figured I’d bring it to school. (I very conveniently left Mom or Dad out of the decision. I was pretty sure they’d say no, but I think I convinced myself that the reason they’d tell me no was because they didn’t want me to lose the knife.)
On the bus ride to school, everybody was excitedly talking about their costumes or the parties their class would be having. We were all going around, talking about what we’d dress up as, and I started talking about my costume. When I talked about the knife I’d brought with me, a kid that was a year older than me had his eyes go wide. “Hey, you could get in big trouble for that!”
I was a little taken aback. I wouldn’t say I was an angel in elementary school, but I was a pretty good kid. It struck me as ridiculous that I could get in big trouble for carrying a dull novelty knife. My thought was “c’mon…it’s me! I’m not gonna do anything bad with it, it’s just to make the costume look cooler.” At the time I had no concept of zero-tolerance policies or making an example out of somebody. I tried dismissing his input as just plain dumb, but his words stuck with me.
The parade and party were in the afternoon. The whole morning I sat at my desk, wrestling with my own thoughts about whether or not I should include the knife as part of the costume. The entire time, in a class of probably 20+ kids, the knife was sitting in my desk hidden behind some books. I started to worry about what would happen if the teacher found out about it. Was the kid on the bus right? Was it something I could get in trouble for? I ended up getting pretty uncomfortable with the whole situation.
I ended up skipping the knife as part of the pirate look that day. We did our little elementary parade, and the whole time I felt like my costume was incomplete. As far as I knew, nobody else had a clue that anything was missing from my ensemble. At the end of the school day, I brought the knife home with me and never brought it back to school. Mom and Dad are only finding out about it now, the same way you are. J
Just so we’re clear, bringing a knife to school was a bonehead thing to do. I knew better than to consult my parents, but it never entered my mind that they’d have legitimate reasons why they’d say no. For some reason I figured everybody at school, including any teachers that saw it, would say “hey, that’s cool!”
Sometimes all you need is to bounce an idea off someone else. I wasn’t too proud or arrogant to ask…it simply didn’t occur to me that there were other perspectives. I figured my view was sufficient. If you’re facing a decision where you’re a little out of your depth, consider bouncing it off someone else, even if you think you’ve got a pretty good lock on things. I didn’t ever hang out with that kid on the bus, we just happened to live on the same route. Even so, he gave me enough solid advice that he helped change my mind. Maybe someone else can do the same for you.