It’s funny how the concept of individual responsibility and discipline has faded into the background. When I was a kid, there were plenty of limits on how much junk food I ate, how much video game time I got, and what I did with my money. As you grow up, you’re less at the mercy of someone else’s limits on your choices, and you determine your own circumstances.
I don’t know if anyone’s told you this or not, but you are responsible for the choices you make. Those choices take many forms, but please don’t fall for the false narrative our culture as a whole seems to push on people: you’re not to blame for the consequences of your decisions.
While it’s true there are some things outside our control that restrict the choices we make (car accidents, inherited medical conditions, etc.), the things I’m about to cover usually aren’t the result of one or two choices, but the result of patterns of choices. Let’s start with something we can probably all relate to.
How can I say this lovingly? Gaining five pounds is not a huge deal. I’ve come out of weekends weighing about five pounds more than I did going in. Gaining 10 pounds more than where you want to be…well…that might be okay if we’re between Thanksgiving and New Years. Putting on 20 pounds more than your desired weight…please tell me you’re noticing this?
If you’re 30 or 40 pounds overweight, we’re not just talking about a couple days’ worth of bad decisions. This is a pattern. It’s a little tough to believe you didn’t see it coming. The consequences are now much more likely to negatively affect your health (and by extension, your bank account). The risk of problems with blood pressure, cholesterol, and heart disease are all now needlessly increased. Yes, you can probably take medicine for some of them, or you can bypass the need for most of those medications by addressing the problem instead of the symptoms. I have to give credit where credit’s due; the country music singer Jelly Roll hit a max weight of 540 pounds a few years ago, but has since lost about 180 pounds to drop below 360. While 360 pounds is still morbidly obese, I have to tip my cap to him; losing 180 pounds is a tremendous accomplishment. At his max weight, I wouldn’t have given him another 10 years. I’m rooting for the guy, and I hope he’s able to achieve his goal of dropping enough weight to someday go skydiving with his wife, even if it means he needs to find a new stage name. (“Pop Tart?”) If you find yourself wanting to drop some extra pounds, start with simple changes like swapping sugary drinks for water (aim to eat your calories instead of drink them). A soda or something like a lemonade every day adds up fast. (Don’t switch to the diet version, just cut it out completely.) Also, while exercise is important, diet is more important. Cardio is good for your heart and mind, while strength training builds muscle, and increased muscle mass burns more calories even while at rest. None of it makes much difference if you’re consistently taking in more calories than you burn.
Let’s talk finances. If you’re living beyond your means, that’s something to try to change right away. I’m not talking about cases where you’re temporarily between jobs, or you’re paying back a big medical bill or something like that. I’m referring to situations where you’re spending more money than you’ve got without having a better reason than “because I want it.” Yes, we all need clothing, but why does it have to be designer? If you truly need a vehicle, brand new cars are a lot more expensive to own and insure than cars a few years older. Dining out or having food delivered is convenient, but expensive, especially if it’s multiple times a week. Consumer debt is a trap you don’t want to have to deal with. If you can’t pay your credit card bills in full every month, maybe you shouldn’t use them (unless the vendor doesn’t take cash). Pay in cash when you’re out and about. Physically handing your money over to someone has a way of helping you question whether the purchase is really worth it or not. Swiping a card and using “invisible money” is so easy, you don’t even realize how much you’re pledging to pay, and the bill piles up fast. If you can’t seem to help yourself, ask your credit card company to lower your credit limit. Keep in mind that if you drastically lower your amount of available credit, your credit score will take a hit. If you’re applying for a mortgage or other loan soon, you may want to hold off on lowering the limits until after you get the lender’s decision.
Finally, are you always short on time? Why is that? If you made a pie chart of the activities you do during your free time (not when you’re sleeping and not when you’re at work or engaged in other responsibilities), which slices would be the biggest? I’m guessing a screen is involved. I don’t know if this is true or not, but the other day I heard on the radio that on average, we scroll a whopping 95 miles per year on our phones. It can’t all be worthwhile. Video games are a black hole for guys, especially. I knew guys in college who would skip classes to play video games. Too much of that and your grades suffer, and college is a pricey thing to give a half-hearted effort to. Unless you’re able to make money off your video game prowess, consider whether the time investment is worth it. I understand wanting to decompress and relax, but good grief, set a limit on how much time that takes. Other time-suck activities: binge-watching shows, watching six hours of football in a given weekend (or single day), and aimless meandering on the internet.
To sum up, you’re in charge of you. If you can’t do it on your own, ask a trusted person for help with your weak spots. When my kids were little, my wife and I were pretty careful about how many sweets we let them have. Occasionally, I’d come home from work and have some ice cream. Once in awhile, one of them would say something like “I can’t wait until I’m a daddy so I can have ice cream whenever I want.” Yeah, life as an adult comes with some privileges, but Spiderman was right: with great power comes great responsibility. Take ownership of your choices. The buck stops with you.