Category: Aimless College Grad

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That Was Almost Me!

In honor of the real reason behind the upcoming Christmas holiday, I’m going to share a story from my life that illustrates someone else’s sacrifice on my behalf. This particular experience drives home the point of Jesus taking my place like nothing else does.

Before I joined the Air Force I worked in construction, building houses. The Air Force was very particular and thorough about documenting the types of injuries, surgeries, and other aspects of recruits’ medical history. All of a potential recruit’s medical history paperwork needed to be in good order before they could even leave for basic training. I don’t remember how many times I had to fill out specific forms, but I remember that it was a pain to get it all completed.

Everyone at work knew that I was joining the Air Force, but the job I wanted wasn’t scheduled to have room for new Airmen for several months, so while I was waiting, all I had to do was not get hurt. I worked in construction. What could go wrong?

Our crew was framing a house, which was one of my favorite parts of building it, even though it was also one of the most physically strenuous. We had finished the first floor, and we were just about to start work on the second. What we usually did at this point was have a guy start lifting the decking…a beefed-up version of plywood…up to someone on the second floor. Once we got most of the decking installed on the second floor, we could start moving other supplies up there.

This time we did something a little different. I don’t remember exactly why, but we had a backhoe on site. Rather than pass the sheets of decking up one at a time, we threw a chain around a bunch of the sheets and connected it to the backhoe’s arm. We were going to use the machine to lift a bunch of the decking up to the second floor all at once. If this worked out, it was going to save us a lot of work.

The backhoe operator drove around to the part of the house that was closest to being able to reach the second floor. He moved into place and began positioning the arm so that two of us up top could pull the sheets out of the stack. I was one of the guys, and I had gone to high school with the other guy, Jared. Jared was the kind of guy that had been working on job sites and picking up extra cash since he was a kid. He had worked on more roofs, houses, and barns than he could remember. He just had a sixth sense about how building supplies needed to fit together and how the process needed to go.

The two of us stood on top of the second floor, waiting to receive the first sheets. We had no floor to stand on yet; we had to balance on the rafters that were 16 inches apart. We watched as the backhoe operator extended the backhoe’s arm as high as it would go, only to come up a few inches short. We talked it over for a bit, and decided we’d try tipping the bundle just enough that we could pull a sheet up toward us. We didn’t like the idea of dealing with a tipped bundle, but it was better than lifting the sheets up one by one.

This idea might have worked if we used a magical chain that tightened around the bundle a little bit as each sheet came out. Think of a deck of cards that’s held in place not with a rubber band, but with a string that’s tied tightly around the outside. As we tried tipping the bundle just enough to pull a sheet up onto where we stood, the sheets in the middle of the bundle started sliding toward the cab of the backhoe. Out of self-preservation, the operator jerked the arm to stop the decking from smashing into him, but in the process it made the bucket smash into the wall holding up the rafters Jared and I stood on. It broke the wall loose and in about three seconds there would be nothing holding us up anymore.

Jared was quicker to understand everything that was happening, and he started tearing across the rafters with a quickness. He slowed down long enough to grab me and get me moving in the right direction, because I had to spin 180 degrees to be pointed toward safety. He pulled me onto my feet and gave me a big shove, providing the momentum I needed to reach a different section of the building that wasn’t in danger of collapsing. The big shove he gave me killed his momentum toward safety though. It all happened so fast that I don’t remember everything that occurred, but the wall gave way, and so did the rafters holding us up. As I was falling, I was just barely able to reach out and grab a beam that wasn’t affected by the wall’s collapse. I was running across rafters that were on their way down as I reached it. It was just in the nick of time, too; it was a last-ditch leap to grab something sturdy enough to save me from disaster.

Jared, however, did NOT make it to safety. He ended up tumbling from the second floor to the first in the middle of a mass of collapsing lumber. He suffered a fall he could have escaped because he stopped long enough to give me a chance I wouldn’t have had without him. He could have made it without a problem if he only looked after himself, but without even thinking he helped keep me from getting hurt. If I could go back in time and grab a picture of the scene, it would have been a powerful one to see Jared getting buried in an avalanche of two-by-sixes and two-by-eights as I safely swung from a cross beam just feet away, thanks to him.

This event made me understand the word “sacrifice” in a different light. I always knew the Bible stories about God sacrificing His son. After awhile, you forget to appreciate what an awesomely painful thing that was for Him to do. Then something like this happens and you see it in a whole new light.

How do you pay someone back after something like that?

You can’t.

If you haven’t invited Jesus Christ to be the Lord of your life, that doesn’t change the fact that He paid a heavy price to offer you a tremendous gift. To be honest, He knew that many people wouldn’t take Him up on it, and He knew that some people would knowingly reject it. I can’t imagine not being thankful to Jared after what he did. It also helped remind me of how much more thankful I need to be for an even bigger act of selflessness.

This Christmas don’t forget to pause and give thanks to God for the significance of what we’re actually celebrating during this time of year. Christ’s birth marked the start of a plan that would result in a painful and tormenting sacrifice that opened the door for you and for me to gain entry into Heaven. The concept of painful separation from God after death is our default status as humans, but Christ’s sacrifice created the only way for us to avoid that future and instead spend eternity with Him in Heaven.

Just for the sake of closure, Jared was okay, but he was pretty mad and stayed on the floor for awhile. I dropped from the beam and ran toward him, throwing planks every which way to get him uncovered. He scared me when I found him in the fetal position…I kept asking him to say something, but he stayed quiet. I think he was pretty upset at seeing the problem coming and still having to deal with it. We later joked about how tough Jared was. He’s the only guy I know that you can drop a house on and he keeps on going. 🙂

This is my last post of 2018. Enjoy time together with loved ones this season; hold them tighter and don’t take them for granted. Talk about big, impossible ideas of how you can labor for God’s glory. Spur one another on. I’ll resume posting the first or second week of the new year.

In the words of a different, more famous Tim, “God Bless us, every one!”

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Sometimes the Failures Come Before the Successes

Were you ever successful on your first attempt to do something tricky? If you’re fortunate enough to say ‘yes,’ I wouldn’t get used to that being the norm.

After college I worked for a construction company for about a year and a half before leaving for the Air Force. During the summers we started at 6:30 or 7 in the morning so we could escape some of the heat of the late afternoon. Getting off work at 3 or 3:30 in the afternoon meant there was still plenty of time to get to the pool before it closed.

This was the same pool where I had spent a few summers lifeguarding. When I worked at the pools, I got the chance to watch people do some pretty cool things off the diving boards. I never really had the chance to try it out though, because I was either working or hurrying to get something done so I could move on to the next thing.

I’m not really sure what triggered it, but one day after work when I was at the pool, I decided that I wanted to try a “one and a half” off the diving board. I’m not sure if there’s a better name than that for it, but if you do a flip off the diving board and land in the water feet first, that’s “one.” A one and a half is when you do a flip, but keep rotating another half revolution and enter the water hands/headfirst in a dive.

You have to understand that back then I had a higher tolerance for pain. Working in construction means you’re constantly dealing with bruises, knicks, bumps, drops, even a few slams here and there. For whatever reason, on that day, I was willing to accept some pain in order to perform a one and a half.

Failure after failure ensued. I’m on the tall side, so it took me a bit to figure out how to deal with under-rotation. Rotating 360 degrees is good, and rotating the desired 540 degrees is good, but when you’re somewhere in between those two, it’s ugly and painful (especially when you’re spinning fast and your face is the first thing to hit the water). Some of the flops forced my eyes open underwater, some of them wrenched my neck back, and some of them just stung when I hit the water the wrong way.

I was finally able to do it. The secret was twofold: you had to tuck in your legs almost like you’re doing a cannonball, and you had to spin full speed in order to get the full rotation. It was the most bizarre feeling to be spinning so fast that your face starts warping and you had to use your arms to pull your knees close to your chest or they’d fly away from it. Weird as it was, it was the only way to make it work.

I don’t think I’ve ever done another one and a half since that day. I just wanted to figure it out for myself and be able to say that I had done it. Here’s the important takeaway from this little story: in order to reach my goal, I had to be willing to fail. Boy, did I fail. And I didn’t just fail once, I failed MANY times (sometimes in an epic way). In the end, I failed more times than I was successful, but the eventual success somehow made the failures seem less important.

Some of you are afraid of failure. Why? Maybe you’re afraid of someone seeing you miss the mark. Maybe you think that it will result in people labeling you as someone with poor judgment. It might be because you’re afraid of what will happen if you succeed. Whether it’s ego, fear, embarrassment, whatever it is, ask yourself if the reason you don’t try is because of something that’s only in your head.

I think this is a recurring theme in this blog: in your Christian life, God will challenge you to do things that you think you’re going to fail at. That’s fine. It’s okay to fear failure. Don’t miss the next part, though. Fearing the possibility of failure is not a valid excuse for not trying. If God hands you an assignment that takes the wind out of your sails, I can guarantee the little voice that starts whispering to you “there’s just no way” is not a part of God’s team. If someone who’s not on God’s team starts trying to put ideas in your head, do you think you should put any stock in them?

Today I heard someone say “People don’t want to be preached to; they want to be summoned.” They want to be called, invited, to be a part of something. God will summon you to do something big, and He will pick YOU for a specific reason. You may not know why, but it’s part of His master plan. Nobody else on the entire planet has the exact combination of experiences, gifts, talents, and resources that you do. If God’s calling you to be a part of something, don’t let the possibility of failure stop you from getting started. Your obedience can unleash something you never saw coming, and open the door for others to be a part of something bigger than you could have expected.

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I Need Something More

Cleaning up the coast of Maine

After I finished college I went back home to live with my Mom and Dad in Pennsylvania. I had earned a Bachelor’s in Biology with an Environmental Emphasis, and I minored in Outdoor Recreation. The tough part was that I didn’t really know what to do with it. The events of 9/11 took place just a couple of weeks after I started my senior year of college; I couldn’t see myself moving into a career in forest/wildlife management or facilitating team-building on a ropes course after the world had changed so drastically, but I also didn’t want to run off and join the military. With no direction, I defaulted to moving back in with Mom and Dad.

I had no idea what the end result of that choice would be. I had no way of knowing what would eventually happen, but I ended up living there for about a year and a half before I left for the Air Force. To earn money, I worked construction for a local home builder. I learned a lot of stuff working that job, but when you’re single, live with your parents, and have a decent income coming in, it gives you some opportunity to explore some additional hobbies or try some different things out. During this time I paid back all of my college debt, volunteered to work with my church’s youth group, did a lot of kneeboarding on the river, bought a new (used) car, took up skydiving, and took trips to Maine and Australia.

Kneeboarding on the river

It was definitely unique in the sense that I had very little responsibility, but at the same time I was restless. There was no direction; nothing to throw my energy toward. I tried a variety of things to kind of see if any of them seemed like something I’d want to pursue further. I tried some stuff that I wanted to do, and it was fun, but it still felt like I was made for more. I needed something that was…bigger than just me.

As time went on, the idea of joining the Air Force grew on me. By that point I had at least experienced an introduction to rudimentary medical courses, skydiving, scuba diving, swift-water swimming, long-distance swimming, shooting, and generally spending a good amount of time in the great outdoors. I began gravitating toward the idea of joining an Air Force career field called Pararescue. These are Air Force special operators that are combat medics trained to enter enemy territory to locate, stabilize, and rescue downed aircrew. It seemed right up my alley!

Just knowing that they were a type of special forces within the military made me hesitate though, and I think I was probably afraid of the high failure rate. I opted for something a little less intense. I graduated college in May of 2002, and in May of 2003 I signed on the dotted line with the Air Force, agreeing to enter the career field of Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape (SERE) Specialist.

In order to guarantee that I’d have a slot trying out for that job, the recruiter let me know that I’d have to delay my entry into service. I signed in May, but didn’t leave for Basic Training until that December. I still had about six months left of doing the same stuff I had been doing, but knowing that there was something bigger coming helped me to feel more settled. I had found a few ways to push my limits in the past, but joining the Air Force in this capacity was going to allow me to really open up the throttle and see how far I could go. As you’ll see later, I got plenty of opportunities to push my limits, and the parts that were really exciting were where I exceeded what I thought were my limits.

Many times we impose our own limits. We don’t know where they came from, but somehow we taught ourselves to stay away from those limits, because we might get hurt or exhausted trying to reach them. By putting them in the context of something that’s beyond ourselves, though, things are a little more attainable. Isn’t it funny how when presented with a challenge, many Biblical characters immediately provided excuses? When called to speak for God, Moses blamed his speech impediment. Jonah ran the other way because he didn’t want God to spare the Ninevites. Instead of being crowned Israel’s first king, Saul went and hid. Many times we’re the same way. Those guys were all imperfect, but they went on to do great things when enabled by God’s power.

It’s no different for you and I. We’re called to do great things for God’s glory, but if you look back on your life, you may be able to remember some of the reasons you’ve cited about why you wouldn’t be the right person for whatever your calling is/was. Not only are you intentionally limiting yourself, but you’re missing out on incomparable adventures. Saying ‘no’ to God doesn’t help His kingdom grow. On the other hand, think about how much God’s glory is put on display when some feeble, unqualified human instrument agrees to go where God sent them, only to experience improbable success. It’s there, waiting for you.

Don’t be intimidated by the hurdles you see, but don’t be afraid of success, either. Accept God’s invitation to step into something larger than you.

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Expect Opposition

Capture the Flag…

I used to help out with youth group at our church after I finished college. One night we were playing Capture the Flag. A sidewalk ran between the parking lot and the church. The way we played, the sidewalk served as the boundary between the two sides. Each team had a flag that they put deep in their own territory. To win, someone on your team had to get to the opponent’s flag, grab it, and make it back across the sidewalk. Get tagged by anyone, and you go to jail, even if you’re holding the flag.

It was fun to see the different strategies people used. Most of the time people would venture just over the line, and see how far they could get before someone chased them. Sometimes people would just saunter across and act like they were on the other team. Once in awhile everyone would bunch up and make a run for it, with the outer people protecting the people on the inside of the crowd.

I remember one time we had a pretty slow-moving game going. The only action was at the border, where people would act like they were about to take off running into enemy territory, without ever actually doing anything. I don’t even know how he got over there, but suddenly I noticed a guy on my team, Chris, snag the other team’s flag and start hauling back toward our side. He cut, he juked, and got past all but one person.

There was just one girl between Chris and the sidewalk. She was all that stood in the way of Chris sealing victory for our team. From where I stood, I certainly couldn’t make Chris run any faster. I noticed that the lone defender didn’t yet notice what was going on behind her, because she was busy making sure that I didn’t take off into her side.

There was only one thing to do. Since she posed a threat to Chris’s victory run, I decided to do my best to distract her. All she needed to do was put a finger on Chris before he got to the sidewalk, and it would be over for us. I had to do anything I could think of to prevent her from turning her attention on him.

It didn’t matter what gender she was. It didn’t matter what race she was. None of that superficial stuff was important. The only thing that mattered was that she had the power to threaten our victory, and she was quite capable of spoiling our win.

If you’re a Christian, you have an enemy that is willing to go to great lengths to prevent you from operating at full capacity. Not only is he foaming at the mouth with visceral hate for you, but he’s intelligent, cunning, and patient. This is the worst kind of enemy there is. If you are actively following God’s calling for your life, this enemy will do whatever is in his power to distract, harass, and demoralize you. DO NOT LET HIM STOP YOU. You’ve been called to something too great for you to be stopped, sidelined, or benched. Christ’s power – the power that lives in you – is infinitely greater than your enemy’s.

In the game of Capture the Flag, it’s worth pointing out who I did NOT care about. As Chris made his dash for triumph, there were plenty of other people on the opposing team, but most of them were either unable or unwilling to play a pivotal role at that point. It’s the same thing in Spiritual Warfare. If you’re pretty much a Christian for only an hour a week on Sunday mornings, let’s be honest, you don’t pose much of a threat to the enemy. On the other hand, if you’re out there telling people about Jesus, if you’re someone who helps minister to others, if you’re someone who tries to spur other Christians on, I can guarantee that the enemy sees you as a threat, and he will almost certainly expend resources to try to derail you somehow. Challenge yourself to answer the question “am I worth distracting?”

If you believe that becoming a Christian meant that your life would become easier, I’m sorry to burst your bubble. Don’t expect things to get easier in your Christian life; expect them to get harder! The thing is, though, that as you grow and mature in Christ…as He brings you through progressively more challenging assignments, you learn to trust Him. You have hope. You learn to recognize that the distractions will fade if you just…hold…fast. Whatever it is that’s in short supply – the strength, the financial resources, the endurance – it will be there when you need it. Just…hold…on.

And because I know someone will want closure…yes, we won the game. I ran into enemy territory, intentionally staying a little too close to the defender. I figured I’d lure her one way, and Chris would go the other way, but instead Chris kept me between him and her. Either way, he made it back to the border and we won the game. But don’t let that little story distract from the point I’m making. Through all the stuff of life that can choke out your efforts to glorify Christ and His kingdom…keep your eye on the prize. Just…hold…on.