Category: Hang In There

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Some Days You’re the Dog, Other Days You’re the Hydrant

My old college laptop: before wireless capability, with a battery that lasted about 20 minutes

I’m not exactly the most technologically savvy person out there. I’d probably still have a flip phone if the one I used to have didn’t quit working. Up until a few months ago, I had a Blackberry. I’m not yet to the point where I’ll have to ask my kids for help adding a new contact, but I can see that happening some day. I had to get my wife’s help emailing these pictures from my phone to the computer.

When I was in college, the school I attended was pretty advanced as far as how “connected” the campus was. I don’t know what the actual ranking was, but I think it was in the “Top 100 Most-Wired Campuses in America” or something like that. Our class was the second or third that the school mandated purchase a specific model of laptop. All our dorm rooms, classrooms, and hangouts had Ethernet connections. It was horrible and clunky by today’s standards, but it was pretty cutting-edge at the time. (Anybody else remember something called a “dongle?”)

A dongle…let’s take the most fragile piece of equipment and put it where it’s most likely to break.

Some aspects of living on a wired campus were nice, but back when this was all very new, we had a lot of network outages. Sometimes it was only for a short time, but every now and then they’d last for an hour or more, and it always seemed to happen exactly when you needed connectivity the most. One afternoon I was in my room, trying to get something done online before my next class. The network lost connectivity, and I wasn’t able to do whatever I was trying to do.

For whatever reason, this outage was particularly frustrating for me. Normally I’d just do something else for awhile and check back later to see if the network was back up. This time I figured I’d go in and mess with my computer’s settings; I thought I’d heard some tech-smart friends talking about getting their laptops to work during outages sometimes by changing some of their computers’ settings, so I thought I’d give it a shot. I don’t even remember what I did…I think I changed some ports or something in a tab somewhere. I couldn’t figure anything out and I had to get to class, so I left my computer running on my desk and left for class, frustrated.

When I came back about an hour later, our dorm’s Director and the college’s head IT guy were standing at my door, about to head in. Apparently the network started to come back up, but the settings I changed impacted not just my laptop, but the school’s whole network. Nobody on the college’s IT staff could bring it back up until my computer was either disconnected from the network or the proper settings were restored. It turns out I was an accidental cyberterrorist, and the dorm’s Director had to vouch for me so they didn’t get security involved. “Honest, I’m not a hacker…I just don’t know what I’m doing!” I’m pretty sure they made it so net-wide settings like that couldn’t be changed by unauthorized personnel after that. To all the students that came after me and didn’t have to deal with outages due to fellow students’ actions…you’re welcome.

(Not too long after that we had a weekend where parents came to visit. We were having lunch on Saturday with some of the parents, along with some faculty/staff. The professor that sat with us was one of my teachers, and he was complaining about a recent time when a student actually took down the whole network. He wasn’t laughing at the absurdity of it, he was actually still kind of mad about it. I’m sitting right next to the guy, having a hard time in his class. “Oh really, THAT’S what happened? Man, that’s a shame.”)

Sometimes you make decisions that have an impact on what you’re doing. Sometimes you make decisions that have an impact on what other people are doing. Even worse, with some of these latter decisions, you don’t even realize the ramifications of what you’ve done until it’s after the fact. I crippled the ability of the whole student body to do anything online, and I did it without even knowing it. In order to set things right, an expert in the subject area had to step into the situation and fix it.

There will be times when you’re the goober that gums everything up, and there’ll be times when you’re the one in a position to help make things right. The goal is to minimize the number of times you’re in the first category and to not take it out on the goobers too bad when you’re in the second category.

People make mistakes, and people let you down. We’ve all done it. Some people are extraordinarily talented at holding grudges for even the slightest of mistakes. While it’s true that you should take notice of trends in a person’s “mistake history,” it’s also worth thinking about giving them another chance, especially if you’ve already kept them in the doghouse for awhile. If it were you that messed up, wouldn’t you want another chance?

I’m thinking of getting a t-shirt that says “I was a hacker before it was cool,” but because some people know I can’t even find what I’m looking for on Netflix, I’d probably have to tell this story every time I wore it.

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If I Can’t Walk, Then I’m Crawling

In honor of the upcoming Memorial Day holiday, I’ll share a military-themed post. When I was younger I really enjoyed the movie “Saving Private Ryan.” It’s a story that took place during World War II in Europe, and starred Tom Hanks as Army Captain John Miller.

Throughout the movie Miller had led men against formidable obstacles; he was always able to get his team past the obstacle, but each time someone paid for it with their life. There’s a lot more to the story than this, but at the end of the movie, Captain Miller and a small group of soldiers find themselves vastly outnumbered and outgunned while defending an important bridge from an enemy onslaught.

It’s a losing battle. During the clash we repeatedly witness the demise of characters we’ve known for most of the movie, all while valiantly trying to defend either the bridge or each other. The enemy forces continue advancing, and the bridge appears as though it’s about to fall to the enemy.

As a last resort, the Americans have wired explosives to the bridge to prevent the enemy from using it. When it became apparent that the Americans couldn’t hold the bridge, they decided to destroy it. Retreating across the river, Miller prepared to activate the detonator, but in the process was mortally wounded and unable to set off the explosives. With an enemy tank about to begin moving across the bridge, Miller, unable to stand, leaned himself up against some debris and pulled out his sidearm. With nothing left to do, he began firing a pistol at an advancing tank.

  • CAPT Miller in “Saving Private Ryan”
  • CAPT Miller in “Saving Private Ryan”

I don’t want to spoil the ending if you haven’t seen it, but how do you get to the point where you’re trying to stop a tank with a pistol? Miller was a man that simply did not give up once he had made up his mind about an objective. There was no quit in him. He fought the way he could make the maximum impact, and once that method failed or circumstances changed, he switched to the next most effective method. He adjusted his approach as his men and resources dwindled. As he sat on a bridge bleeding out, the only option available to him, his last-ditch effort, was to pull out his pistol and start firing at a tank. This was all he had left.

This man was determined, and makes me reflect on my own life. Do I have determination like that? Am I giving my all, even if I don’t have much left? If I can’t run, am I at least walking toward where I need to go? When I can’t walk, am I crawling?

There’s much work to be done. We’ll have setbacks. Our resources and assets will change, reducing or increasing our capability to do things at a given point in time. Are we letting the loss of those things, or a self-defeating attitude get in the way from us making progress toward where we need to go? Don’t stop. Keep pushing forward, even if it’s at a crawl.

This Monday is Memorial Day. There are a whole lot of men and women who gave their all for us; some didn’t make it back, while others are no longer what they used to be. Thank a vet today.

Just a reminder…after Memorial Day, I’ll be switching to a once-a-week posting format. Have a happy and safe holiday weekend!

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There’s A Way Out

I took a class one time that required me to read a book about traffic. Living in the DC area, I have plenty of opportunities to observe traffic firsthand, so the book helped explain some of the things I see regularly.

One of the concepts that stuck with me is the notion that many car accidents happen when people fixate on the bad situation they’re heading into. If you see that you’re about to impact something, and it’s all you focus on, it’s all but certain that it will happen. You go where your eyes look.

On the flip side, drivers avoid many accidents by focusing on the way out. If you can’t stop the vehicle in time, the only way to avoid an impact is to find another way out. Again, you go where your eyes look.

Reading this book may have helped me avoid an accident once. I was driving our family somewhere, and I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should have. We came around a downhill curve, approaching traffic that was slowing to stop at a traffic light. The gap between us and the car in front of us closed quicker than I anticipated. I stomped on the brakes, but we weren’t going to stop in time. As crazy as it sounds, in a flash I remembered that lesson from the book, and my eyes looked left and right instead of fixating on the looming bumper. I swerved to avoid the car, spilling over into the next lane. Thankfully the spot in the lane right next to us was empty and the vehicle in whose way we just jumped stopped in time.

I’m glad I did my reading assignments for that class.

Sin is a lot like that. We all struggle with it in some way. Some sins are recurring, while others you didn’t even see coming. It could be an addiction, or it could be the result of a heart that’s bitter or holds grudges. Whatever it is, it seems like all it takes is the blink of an eye before you’ve messed up again.

Take heart, though. There’s some good news in the book of 1 Corinthians:

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. -1 Corinthians 10:13

You haven’t been tempted beyond what you can bear, but there’s another round of temptation coming your way. When it does, instead of fixating on the impact, look for the way out, because there’s going to be one.

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Sometimes You Can’t Roll Your Sleeves Up Far Enough

In the Air Force I spent about four or five weeks preparing to pass a screening course for survival instructor candidates. As the time drew near for us to move from preparation to test time, the tone of training got more serious. Up until now we had been building our bodies and learning skills, but there was plenty of goofing off, too. The culmination of our time at Indoc was a nine-day course that was split between rigorous assignments on base and in the barracks for the first half, followed by a period of being out in the field for the second half.

On the last Friday before the course began, it was tradition for instructors to run students through “The Swamp.” The Swamp was a nasty section of Lackland Air Force Base that was just what it sounds like. Making it through the event was not a prerequisite for the course, but it was a way for students to begin making the transition from head knowledge to experience. (It was also fun for the instructors to do.)

A large portion of Air Force Basic Training was focused on professional appearance, making the uniform look good, and establishing a proper demeanor for recruits now living in one of the armed services. While that’s important and has its time and place, preparing to be a survival instructor carried with it a totally different set of objectives. The goal in a survival situation is to do just about whatever it takes to survive and return to friendly territory. A survival instructor goes through grueling circumstances so they better understand how to convey that crucial information to the students they’ll later teach. The Swamp helped students further overcome their reluctance to take actions they might not otherwise take.

Our outing started with some laps up and down a steep hill while wearing heavy rucksacks. We then made our way to the edge of the water. As we got near, we could smell the nasty, stinky, stagnant swamp. It was muddy, had some gross stuff floating in it, and we could only imagine what lived there.

We made our way to where the instructor indicated, then set down our rucks. We weren’t dirty enough yet, so he had us start low crawling through some of the muddiest channels. Naturally, you try to keep your head out of the mud when doing something like that, but that’s exactly what our instructor wanted to break us out of doing. “C’mon, get some mud on your face!”

All of us got herded into an area on the bank of the water, where we started taking turns leading exercises in soaked, muddy uniforms and heavy, waterlogged boots. Pushups, crunches, flutter kicks, eight-count bodybuilders, all sorts of calisthenics made more difficult or tricky by our environment. During flutter kicks, while our soaked boots were up in the air, water would run out of our boots and down our legs. On another occasion I remember that the ground was so soft, while I was in the pushup position my hands sunk down past my elbows into the mud. I couldn’t even bend my elbows to do pushups anymore! We alternately laid on our backs, then on our stomachs, all of us covered in mud except for our necks and heads.

Finally the instructor flat out told us to get every inch of ourselves covered in mud. Then, for his idea of a fun photo-op (which I think is fun too, in retrospect), he had us find some kind of plant to put somewhere on ourselves. By this time, you could hardly even distinguish between the students.

It’s tough to see, but yours truly is the fifth from the left

After awhile, our instructor called an end to the experience. We all headed back toward the bus. Since we couldn’t just walk onto the bus in our current condition, though, we had to get all the mud off. The stinky, dirty, nasty water that once seemed to stink so badly now washed us clean. We walked waist-deep into the water, bent down so the water was up to our neck, and in some cases even went all the way under. Considering how clean we looked when we came up, you wouldn’t know the water was so disgusting and swampy. It later took a few trips through the washing machine for those uniforms to become free of the swamp stink, but they eventually recovered.

This was a crazy experience. It was challenging, certainly, but it was very valuable. All the physical training we’d suffered through for weeks, or even months in some cases, and now this situation, demonstrated something very interesting to all of us: if we try pushing ourselves to the limit, we’ll arrive at our self-imposed mental blocks much sooner than we reach our actual limits. Maybe it’s been awhile since someone asked you: “Are you giving it everything you’ve got?” Maybe nobody’s ever asked you the follow-on question: “Yeah, but, are you really giving it your all?”

It’s also valuable to understand that when you’re confronted by difficult (or even miserable) circumstances, it’s a lot more tolerable when you have others there with you. If you’re headed toward something tough, link up with a few others so you can encourage each other along the way. Alternatively, keep your eyes peeled for someone who’s alone in the mud right now. It could be more encouraging than you’ll ever know for them to see someone wading into the mess to come alongside them.

(To see other posts related to the survival instructor indoctrination course, click here.)

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Hanging on by a Thread (Part 2 of 3)

(See Part 1 here and Part 3 here)

The next few days after my father-in-law, Lee, got whisked away to the hospital were a blur. Whatever had gone wrong with his heart was a complicated thing. Doctors put him in a medically induced coma and dropped his body temperature for a few days as a way of “rebooting” him. Since this was right after Christmas, family that had just left turned around and came back. One of Lee and Pam’s daughters flew in from Alaska. People were constantly calling, trying to find out the latest information, even when there was nothing new to report. The adrenaline we all ran on started wearing off, and the exhaustion began setting in.

Lee’s hospital was about an hour away from his house, where my wife and three young kiddos were staying. My wife would go up there every day, but an extra two hours of travel time a day added to the burden. My kids started getting antsy; at the time they were 5, 4, and 14 months, and Mommy had never been away from them this much before. In her place, they got a guy that meant well, but just couldn’t compare to Mommy. Some of the meals I came up with were really just glorified snacks, and sometimes it was the same thing over and over again. The walls started feeling like they were closing in on all of us. We needed to find some kind of better solution as we got closer to the time the doctors were going to try to raise Lee’s body temperature and revive him.

Lee and Pam knew a bunch of people in the area near the hospital, and we decided to make the drive as a family up to that region with the intent to start staying the night up there somewhere. We packed a bunch of our stuff and left Lee and Pam’s house not knowing where we’d be spending the next few nights. We made it to the hospital and went to the waiting room where we saw lots of familiar faces. During the day all kinds of friends and well-wishers came and went, some of them even bringing much-appreciated care packages of food and things to help pass the time. My kids enjoyed the extra time with Mommy, even if it was in a waiting room. Even with all the extra family and friends helping out, though, they didn’t have to stay in the same room long before they started getting antsy again. They needed somewhere to feel settled.

During the day we were still trying to find a place to stay. One family offered us an available room in their home, but five of us is a lot to cram into one room (especially when two of the kids still napped), so we wanted to see if we could find anything else. Someone had two rooms available for us, but they had a dog that my son would’ve been allergic to. Late in the day we got word that there was a family willing to let us stay at their place. They had two rooms for us, no pets, and the house was less than five minutes from the hospital. The offers weren’t going to get much better than that and it was getting late, so we grabbed it. By the time we arrived at the house it was after dark. The house was cheery and still decorated for Christmas, and when the door opened we met some of the sweetest people we could have hoped for. Jay and Esther and their daughter Tracey welcomed us into their home in one of our young family’s hours of greatest need.

Jay and Esther were great-grandparents, and they had a large family. Their house was so warm and welcoming, and someone was always popping in because…that’s just the kind of place it was. They had one of their grandsons staying in their basement at the time, and he and a visiting friend helped us bring in our luggage, pack ‘n plays, and anything we brought with us. By the time we got there, it was time to get the kids to bed. We got our daughters set up in one of the rooms, and we set up our son on the floor in the room where my wife and I stayed. I think my wife and I spent a little time visiting with the family before we collapsed into bed, too. That was our first restful night of sleep since the whole ordeal with Lee began.

The next day my wife headed off to the hospital early again, but my kids and I were able to stay in a place the kids finally felt comfortable and occupied. If memory serves, Jay and Esther had five kids; as grandparents and great-grandparents, many children had come to visit this house, and there were all kinds of fun things for my kids to play with and explore. They also had all kinds of Christmas decorations that sang or danced after it got squeezed (a favorite for kids). In addition to all kinds of stuffed animals and toys, they had a foosball table and a pool table in the basement…something that kept my kids occupied for a very long time.

Our hosts also figured out that Daddy was good at getting his kids riled up and roughhousing, but maybe needed some help in the food preparation department. Oh, man, they were so great. My kids actually started having balanced meals. Those wonderful people made it possible for us to put one foot in front of the other on our march through the trial we faced.

Last story about staying at their place. During naptime one day, I laid down my youngest in a pack ‘n play in a room by herself. I laid my son down in his sleeping bag on the floor in our room, and I set up my oldest daughter to play/color/draw on the bed in our room. My son fell asleep right away, and I told my daughter I was going to read on the floor. Once I laid down, though, I figured out pretty quickly that I wasn’t going to stay awake long, so I let her know I’d probably take a nap on the floor. My five-year-old daughter got down off our bed with her little blanket, came and lay down beside me, and all three of us took a nap in a row on the floor. We were finally in a place where we could rest.

I’ll get you caught up on Lee in my next post, but this one’s about how much we were able to benefit from the generosity and hospitality of these wonderful people. That was their gift, they loved helping people, and it was amazing and much appreciated to be ministered to in that way.

This whole site is geared toward encouraging you to use your gifts to live a life of higher impact for Christ’s Kingdom. Not everyone is going to be an international gospel singer or someone that proclaims the truth boldly in stadiums across the globe. I don’t know what your gifts are. You might not accomplish anything earth-shattering by being hospitable to someone who needs help, but let me tell you…it can mean the world to the person receiving the help. Whatever your gift is…please…find a way to use it. God gave you that gift for a reason, and if you let Him, He’ll tie you into His master plan.

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Wait For It…

Sometimes when you’re stuck in a waiting period, you just need to make the best of it.

In my senior year of college, I was the Vice President of the Paddle Sports club. This club was for people that wanted to try their hand at kayaking and whitewater rafting. The academic year is kind of tricky for paddling because school’s not in session during a huge chunk of the prime season, so we held pool sessions twice a week during the entire academic year. During those sessions, it was a great opportunity for newcomers to learn the basics of kayaking. The problem was…when there were no newcomers, or when the winter began dragging on, those pool sessions got kinda dull. If you already knew how to roll a kayak, you had to come up with other ways to keep it interesting.

In the pool, those of us that were regulars would try strange stuff: try to roll a capsized kayak without using a paddle; setting up a kayak on one of the diving boards and getting in, then sliding off the board into the pool; putting on a life jacket and trying to swim down to the bottom of the pool’s deep end to retrieve something from the floor. Out of all of it though, I think the nuttiest stuff we did involved practicing righting a capsized raft.

When you have a whitewater raft full of people, and you’re shooting through some big water, it can be a dangerous thing if the raft flips and people get scattered. It’s best to have at least a couple of people in each raft that know how to flip it back over. That way if a raft gets flipped in some whitewater, whoever’s closest can flip it back over and get on with the business of bringing everyone back into the boat.

Example of righting a capsized raft

Each raft used in whitewater rafting normally has a rope tied to at least one of the sides. If the raft flips upside-down, someone climbs up on top of it. While grabbing the rope and standing on the opposite edge of the raft, they lean backward while pulling on the rope, eventually falling into the water and flipping the capsized raft back over the right way.

Once you know how to do it, it’s not a difficult thing to do. It’s important to practice though, because it’s one thing to do it in the pool, but it’s something entirely different when you’re bobbing through whitewater, trying to climb up on the raft while wearing a wetsuit, helmet, and life jacket, all while holding a paddle and trying to count heads.

We did a lot of raft-flipping in the pool. The basic version gets boring quickly though. You start trying to make it more interesting. I tried dozens of times to flip the raft while timing the jump just right so that I landed in the righted raft without falling in the water. We paired up and had a guy swim under the capsized raft and hang onto a pontoon, so that when the other guy standing on top of the raft flipped it over, there was already a guy in the boat. We doubled the number and had two guys hanging onto pontoons while two other guys flipped the boat. We even had three guys on top of a capsized raft…as two guys flipped it, the third guy tried to get catapulted into the water (although he miscalculated and got flipped the wrong direction). It was goofy stuff that was just fun, didn’t hurt (much), and served no practical purpose other than helping to pass the time.

What am I getting at? Sometimes you’re going to be stuck waiting for awhile. Whether it’s a low-level job where you have to put your time in, maybe a military assignment that’s a terrible but necessary rung on the ladder, or maybe some season of life where you have to put your primary plans on hold for a bit, you’ll probably find that God put you in (or you got yourself into) a situation where the things you want to do are going to have to take a back seat for awhile. In Paddle Sports, we had the luxury of the season being predictable; we knew we wouldn’t do much outdoor paddling from November to February, but things were going to pick up with the spring thaw. A predictable season is the reality for some, but for others, they don’t know how long they’ll be waiting.

If you find yourself in the middle of your own version of the “winter months,” hang in there. Surround yourself with people that will keep your spirits up and keep spurring you on. There’s usually a lot you can do or learn even in those trying times. Spring’s coming, but for now, do your best to make the most of the time you’ve got.