Tag: forgiveness

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I Ordered One Thing But Got a Surprise Instead

I recently learned a lesson in forgiveness.

My wife and I were out for lunch, just the two of us. We don’t often get a chance to do that, and we always look forward to it. Ordinarily we don’t grab dessert when we’re out, but on this occasion I had been looking forward to a special treat. I had been anticipating it for days, actually; a gigantic slice of chocolate mousse cake topped with whipped cream. There was no way I could finish it in one sitting; it was something I planned to order knowing full well I’d have to bring at least some of it home.

Our server was very nice, and he answered whatever questions we had. We gave him our order and chatted while we waited for the food to arrive. I think we were even able to chat the whole time without talking about the kids. At last, he came with our food, but he mixed up our orders and put down the wrong plate in front of each of us. In hindsight, we should’ve just let him walk away and switch them after he left, but we let him know he had it backwards. He picked both plates back up and switched them, but in the course of swapping, he knocked over my glass of ice water, spilling the whole thing directly into my lap.

He apologized multiple times and started cleaning up the mess. I was irritated, obviously, but kept my cool and didn’t flip out on the guy or anything, and assured him that everything was fine. I’ve had bad days where I made mistakes and other people had to deal with the consequences of my bad choices, so I reminded myself of that and just tried to let things go. It was an honest mistake and the guy seemed genuinely sorry. I used a cloth napkin to try to soak up as much water as I could from my soggy pants, and was grateful it was just water and not something sugary or hot.

After the excitement died down my wife and I were able to start enjoying our food. At some point I started thinking ahead to that dessert I’d been looking forward to so much. Then it dawned on me that I might be able to snag it for free! They’d want to make it up to me after the inconvenience they put me through, right? There was a silver lining! As we neared the end of our meal, we didn’t want to stick around and have dessert at the restaurant, so I asked for the check and a slice of cake to go.

When the check came, I expected the dessert to be on the house, but there it was, marked as full price on the receipt.

Truth be told, I was a little miffed. I could have pulled the guy aside and said “look man, you kind of ruined my lunch here a little bit, don’t you think? What do you say you guys comp me the dessert?” I’m sure he would have made something happen, and if he didn’t, I’m sure the manager on duty would’ve cut us a break.

Yeah, I could have, but I just kinda got this sense, like somebody was saying “You forgave him. The relationship is restored. There’s no need for him to provide additional restitution. You know full well you intended to get that cake days in advance. They don’t owe you anything.”

That was a little deflating, but I begrudgingly acknowledged it was the right thing to do. We treated the guy as if he hadn’t spilled water on me, and we went on our way. After all, forgiveness shouldn’t come with strings attached, right?

Well, by throwing out this example of just how gracious I am, I’m pretty sure I lost my heavenly reward on this one. Even so, I’m hoping it’s somehow worthwhile to someone who reads it. Don’t take the wrong lesson away from this one (“what a sap…he should’ve made a bigger stink about it so he could’ve got what he wanted!”). No. Asking forgiveness can be hard, but granting forgiveness can be harder. If someone’s genuinely sorry, you gotta let it go. That doesn’t mean you need to be their best friend, and it doesn’t mean you can’t learn from your interactions. It just means you need to forgive them and move on with your life.

This Christmas season, is there anyone you need to settle accounts with, either asking for, or granting, forgiveness?

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It’s Just a Little Trick, But it Works Really Well Against Us

Here’s a little trick the devil likes to use on a lot of folks. The reason he uses it frequently on people is because, unfortunately, it’s so effective at hamstringing them.

Have you ever noticed how you keep remembering examples of your own character failures, even long after they occurred? Letting people down, perhaps, or letting yourself down, or even going left when you should’ve gone right…all sorts of things that you should have been able to shake from your memory by now, but haven’t. Why can’t you move on from these failures?

You can’t forget them because fallen angels are constantly reminding you about them.

You see, what Satan and his forces are constantly doing is reminding you of things God’s already forgotten. You are human. You make mistakes. You ask forgiveness for those mistakes, you learn the lesson, you deal with the consequences, and you move on. When you’re living your life for Christ and things are going well, these little reminders get whispered into your ear. When you turn inward and withdraw from others, they’re also whispered into your ear.

Why? Why would the Lord’s enemy want God’s followers downcast and morose? Quite simply, to make you less effective as a Christ-follower. Joy is one of the Fruits of the Spirit. Robbing you of it makes the Spirit appear less powerful, even though it’s not true. It also hurts your testimony. The nagging thoughts of failure or regret are intentionally placed in your mind to pull you off your spiritual “A Game” and keep you huddled in the corner.

Focus instead on the truth: if Christ is your Savior, you’re a child of the living God. You’re forgiven. Those infractions are blotted out in Christ’s book. It’s time to look toward the future, not the past. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, you can achieve unbelievable things, either to impact the Kingdom of God or for God’s sheer enjoyment of seeing somebody He created do exactly what they were created to do.

Learn from your mistakes, but don’t dwell on them. As the last few grains of sand slip through the hourglass of your life, your goal should be to have no potential remaining. The Lord created us with a lot of potential; don’t let yourself become self-limiting.

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The Election’s Finally Over!

Just a quick note today. Congratulations to President-Elect Trump and all those who supported him.

As we all know, elections are contentious issues in our country. Just about half of the country is guaranteed to be disappointed. Many times the winning candidate will speak of unity, or about “being a president for all Americans.” I think that’s noble, but things often go off the rails and that notion falls by the wayside quickly.

So today, I ask that if you’re a Trump supporter interacting with those who supported Vice President Harris, please don’t gloat or spike the football. It could be family, friends, coworkers, or the person you see at the grocery store. Maybe it’s at the Thanksgiving table in a few weeks. If we truly want to move forward as a country under the banner of unity, it’s not helpful to throw a victory in anyone’s face. Let’s assume we’re all Americans and want to move closer together, not further apart.

Maybe this post is reaching you a day or two late and you’ve already been an instigator in some of those “victory!” conversations. I ask that you build people up, not tear them down. Criticize ideas, not people. If an apology is in order, please follow through with one.

And if nothing else, at least the political ads are over now!

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Reduced by $10,000, or Paid in Full?

It’s not the best example, and I’m not fond of the idea, but since it’s a current event, I’m using it.

Think about the number 10,000. If you had to count from 1 to 10,000 you could do it, but it would take long enough to be super annoying, so it’s definitely a substantial number.

Yesterday President Biden announced an initiative to forgive holders of federal student loans up to $10,000 worth of their debt if they met certain criteria. These days education can be ridiculously expensive, so it’s very easy to incur that much debt (many times over, in fact).

Still, though, imagine waking up one day to the reality of having that much of your agreed-to obligation wiped out. Then, when you inquire about it, you hear “Don’t worry about it, it’s gone from your ledger.” All you can do is express thanks.

While 10,000 dollars’ worth of debt is certainly nice to not worry about, it’s still a quantity that we can mentally grasp, and most students can eventually repay. What if the total amount of all your different types of debt numbered in the millions, or even in the billions? Having $10,000 forgiven would still be nice, but it would hardly make a dent in the bottom line figure of what you owe.

Now imagine a debt so large that you can’t even comprehend it because it’s so abstract. What if you personally owed debts totaling one hundred trillion dollars? That’s a one followed by 14 zeroes. Nobody on the planet right now could pay back a debt that large. Not even the U.S. Government could do that. You’d have no hope of putting that debt completely to bed in your lifetime. The constant phone calls and mail from debt collectors would be all-consuming; the debt would be the only thing on your mind. You wouldn’t be able to enjoy food, sleeping well is no longer a thing, and you wouldn’t even be able to take pleasure in the little things in life.

But if you had your debt totally wiped out and the balance restored to zero, how thankful do you think you’d be?

It would be the largest weight ever…lifted right off your shoulders. That’s what Christ offers to you, me, and everyone else. There are two ways to get to Heaven: 1. live a perfect and sinless life, and 2. ride the coattails of someone that’s done exactly that. If you slip up even once, route number one is no longer an option. No amount of money can buy back a single mistake. Since nobody reading this can claim eligibility for the first route, you’re left with the second route, and only Jesus Christ has lived a life without sin. God hates sin, and He will not tolerate it in Heaven. When Christ sacrificed Himself on the cross, He essentially gave Himself as an offering that satisfied God’s wrath. That was Him saying “my coattails are right here, waiting for you to grab them.” By claiming Christ as Lord of your life, you gain the status of being covered by what He’s given. It’s Christ saying “don’t worry about it, it’s gone from your ledger.” You’re standing at the pearly gates, trying to get in, and Christ says “yeah, open the gates, they’re with me.”

Placing your trust in Jesus Christ as your savior is the only way for you to go to Heaven. When you trust in Him, your spiritual debt has been wiped clean. It’s gone. Even if you had been living under its crushing weight, it no longer exists the instant you welcome Jesus into your heart.

You want to talk about having a major debt forgiven? There’s no greater example than that one.

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Some Days You’re the Dog, Other Days You’re the Hydrant

My old college laptop: before wireless capability, with a battery that lasted about 20 minutes

I’m not exactly the most technologically savvy person out there. I’d probably still have a flip phone if the one I used to have didn’t quit working. Up until a few months ago, I had a Blackberry. I’m not yet to the point where I’ll have to ask my kids for help adding a new contact, but I can see that happening some day. I had to get my wife’s help emailing these pictures from my phone to the computer.

When I was in college, the school I attended was pretty advanced as far as how “connected” the campus was. I don’t know what the actual ranking was, but I think it was in the “Top 100 Most-Wired Campuses in America” or something like that. Our class was the second or third that the school mandated purchase a specific model of laptop. All our dorm rooms, classrooms, and hangouts had Ethernet connections. It was horrible and clunky by today’s standards, but it was pretty cutting-edge at the time. (Anybody else remember something called a “dongle?”)

A dongle…let’s take the most fragile piece of equipment and put it where it’s most likely to break.

Some aspects of living on a wired campus were nice, but back when this was all very new, we had a lot of network outages. Sometimes it was only for a short time, but every now and then they’d last for an hour or more, and it always seemed to happen exactly when you needed connectivity the most. One afternoon I was in my room, trying to get something done online before my next class. The network lost connectivity, and I wasn’t able to do whatever I was trying to do.

For whatever reason, this outage was particularly frustrating for me. Normally I’d just do something else for awhile and check back later to see if the network was back up. This time I figured I’d go in and mess with my computer’s settings; I thought I’d heard some tech-smart friends talking about getting their laptops to work during outages sometimes by changing some of their computers’ settings, so I thought I’d give it a shot. I don’t even remember what I did…I think I changed some ports or something in a tab somewhere. I couldn’t figure anything out and I had to get to class, so I left my computer running on my desk and left for class, frustrated.

When I came back about an hour later, our dorm’s Director and the college’s head IT guy were standing at my door, about to head in. Apparently the network started to come back up, but the settings I changed impacted not just my laptop, but the school’s whole network. Nobody on the college’s IT staff could bring it back up until my computer was either disconnected from the network or the proper settings were restored. It turns out I was an accidental cyberterrorist, and the dorm’s Director had to vouch for me so they didn’t get security involved. “Honest, I’m not a hacker…I just don’t know what I’m doing!” I’m pretty sure they made it so net-wide settings like that couldn’t be changed by unauthorized personnel after that. To all the students that came after me and didn’t have to deal with outages due to fellow students’ actions…you’re welcome.

(Not too long after that we had a weekend where parents came to visit. We were having lunch on Saturday with some of the parents, along with some faculty/staff. The professor that sat with us was one of my teachers, and he was complaining about a recent time when a student actually took down the whole network. He wasn’t laughing at the absurdity of it, he was actually still kind of mad about it. I’m sitting right next to the guy, having a hard time in his class. “Oh really, THAT’S what happened? Man, that’s a shame.”)

Sometimes you make decisions that have an impact on what you’re doing. Sometimes you make decisions that have an impact on what other people are doing. Even worse, with some of these latter decisions, you don’t even realize the ramifications of what you’ve done until it’s after the fact. I crippled the ability of the whole student body to do anything online, and I did it without even knowing it. In order to set things right, an expert in the subject area had to step into the situation and fix it.

There will be times when you’re the goober that gums everything up, and there’ll be times when you’re the one in a position to help make things right. The goal is to minimize the number of times you’re in the first category and to not take it out on the goobers too bad when you’re in the second category.

People make mistakes, and people let you down. We’ve all done it. Some people are extraordinarily talented at holding grudges for even the slightest of mistakes. While it’s true that you should take notice of trends in a person’s “mistake history,” it’s also worth thinking about giving them another chance, especially if you’ve already kept them in the doghouse for awhile. If it were you that messed up, wouldn’t you want another chance?

I’m thinking of getting a t-shirt that says “I was a hacker before it was cool,” but because some people know I can’t even find what I’m looking for on Netflix, I’d probably have to tell this story every time I wore it.