Tag: kids

Posted on

How Dare You Remind Me of Something I Hate!

To me, little kids are fun. They say stuff with brutal honesty, they come out with some funny things, and they still think my lame party tricks are cool. When we were trying to figure out some kind of way to serve as a family in our church, we settled on volunteering in the child care area, which is chronically understaffed.

A little truth in lending here…I don’t mind getting down on the floor to play with kids, and I don’t mind holding a crying kid for a little while, but I’m not real great at leading a lesson or singing songs with them. I can commit to keeping them (mostly) safe during the worship service, but that’s pretty much it. If they have a hard time focusing on what I’m saying, my go-to is to distract them with bubbles. Well, all those factors collectively led to my assignment in helping out with the really young kids.

One Sunday some parents dropped off a little girl, and she was pretty tentative about the situation. I’m not sure if she had separation anxiety, or if she was just having a bad day, but as time went by, she became less and less able to hold it together. What started out as a general detachment and a barely audible “I want Mommy” turned into a full-blown meltdown. This kid was screaming. I normally try to give kids a lot of leeway to get settled down so their parents can come to church and have a bit of a respite while listening to the sermon, but this was not working out. We eventually paged her parents, but they took a long time to show up. In the meantime, the little girl got so disruptive that I had to take her outside the room because other kids were looking at her and starting to have their own lower lips quiver. I just walked back and forth in the hallway and held her until somebody showed up to get her. Nothing made her stop screaming, man. Finally her dad showed up to take her off our hands.

Now…I told you that story so I could tell you this one. Weeks later, I was working there in that same room again. Kids started coming in, and they got comfortable and started playing with the various toys around the room. Sure enough, the dad showed up with that same little girl. She looked hesitant as she peeked in. She looked around the room, looking for some kind of upside to what Daddy was asking of her. Once her gaze fell on me, that sealed the deal. She lost it and started crying right away, face turning red, tears falling down her cheeks, and starting with the yelling. Just the sight of me was enough to make her remember the screaming session from last time, and that set her off.

For better or for worse, sometimes you’ll remind people of someone or something which will be counterproductive to your goals. It may or may not have anything to do with you personally; you might just remind somebody of a person they have bad memories of. Even if they say or do offensive things to you, recognize that it’s not necessarily you they’re reacting to. Be open to the idea of taking a step back, swapping roles with someone else, or coming at the problem from a different direction. Your ability to let it roll off your back and take a different approach could mean the difference between success and failure.

Can you relate to a time this has happened? Leave a comment and share your experience!

Posted on

RSVPing in the Negative

When my two oldest kids were little, I’d often come home from work and be greeted by two little balls of energy. Mommy stayed home with them, so when I came home I’d try to give her at least some kind of break by taking them off her hands even if it was for just a few minutes. One particular day was very pleasant outside, so I went into the house intending to come back outside with one or both kids in tow shortly thereafter.

I walked in and got some big hugs from everybody. My little guy looked like he was up for a walk, so I said “Hey Buddy, I need to go get the mail. Would you like to go to the mailbox with me?”

In about as sweet a tone as you can imagine, he said “Umm, I don’t, but I wish I did.”

That little memory makes me think of some people’s walk with God. Some of them honestly and earnestly seek to do God’s will for their life. Others know they should pursue that goal, but for whatever reason, it takes a back seat to other priorities. They wish they had the time or the drive, but they don’t really have their hearts set on it. Others don’t even aspire to that much.

My little guy didn’t want to go, but he didn’t want to disappoint Daddy, either. I wasn’t mad or disappointed in him; I knew he might very well turn me down. God knows before we do how we’ll arrange our priorities. He’s not surprised when we choose not to prioritize the things He offers us.

Although it’s super easy to be distracted by the urgency of the things we encounter in this life, the Christian life is about living your life according to how God wants you to. Give it a try. I think you’ll be blessed in ways you didn’t expect.

Posted on

It’s Tough for Me To Care About That

While visiting my parents one summer, my wife and I took our three kiddos out for ice cream. As we stood inside, waiting to order, I looked around the place and noticed a fun little bit of décor that caught my eye.

Framed in a corner of the room was an autographed picture of the group “Fighting Gravity.” This group was a blacklight performance act on the talent show “America’s Got Talent” (AGT) in the year 2010. I had watched the show that season and thought they were very entertaining, and thought it was fun to see some kind of local connection.

I don’t remember what year this was, but I’d ballpark it somewhere in the early 2020s. I thought it a little odd for this place to have an autograph from that group, and figured there must be some kind of personal connection between this ice cream shop and some member of Fighting Gravity. As we were waiting to place our order, I asked someone behind the counter about the picture. She wasn’t sure, and turned to ask one of her coworkers. Turns out she didn’t know either, and taking a quick poll, nobody at the store knew anything about that signed picture. In fact, nobody seemed to even know what “Fighting Gravity” was. It had only been about 10 years and I could understand that nobody working there had watched the show, but already none of them knew anything about the picture’s significance. Maybe if the proprietor had written something down it would have been easier to convey the story to people curious about the connection.

Did you ever wonder why God took the time to include all those boring genealogies in the Old Testament? Odds are you probably skipped over them or only skimmed them. Since it’s just a bunch of names of people nobody remembers, there’s not much purpose to them, right? Well if 2 Timothy 3:16 is correct, there’s purpose for all scripture. Here are a few reasons why they might be important.

  • The listing of all those individuals helps demonstrate scripture’s accuracy. By listing the physical existence of actual people you can trace back, we can verify that the Bible contains actual confirmed records of things, and isn’t just some collection of fictional stories. It’s authentic and contains historical records.
  • They confirm prophecy. The Messiah was prophesied to come from the line of David. By the time Jesus walked the earth, those lineages were long in the past, but recording those lineages helps check more boxes in the “prophesies fulfilled by Jesus” category.
  • Each name represents an actual person’s lifetime. God doesn’t see Israel as a collection of vague characters all lumped together; He sees them as individuals, each with highs and lows, victories and failures. Those are real people, and God is involved in the details of each of their lives.
  • Some genealogies reveal God’s favor for gentiles, even though they weren’t part of His chosen people. Ruth and Rahab are both part of Christ’s ancestral lineage, even though they were not Jewish. The Lord cares about each person He’s created; He values them all, and He invites them all to come to Him.

The bottom line is that genealogies reinforce the significance of God’s promises. Yeah, they can be pretty boring if you’re not very interested in that kind of thing. It’s important to remember, though, that all of Scripture and all of God’s plans tie together; if He takes the time and care to arrange fulfillment of the “boring” promises, it suggests He’ll fulfill the other ones, too.

Posted on

You Can be 100% Right and Still Lose the Debate

One nice thing about having very young kids is having the freedom to vacation without being at the mercy of the school calendar. Before our kids were old enough to start school, we took them for a beach vacation the week of Labor Day, when rates dropped but the weather was still warm.

The Labor Day weekend was packed, of course, with lots of people wanting to cram in one last beach trip for the summer. Once Tuesday rolled around, though, we had the beach to ourselves. Even the lifeguards stopped working. The kids could chase seagulls all they wanted without worrying about anyone else on the beach.

While the kids ran around on the sand, I noticed a guy who was probably in his 50s standing in the dunes, just kind of keeping an eye on us. He was almost, I don’t know, disapproving in the way he watched us. After awhile he came walking across the sand to speak to me. He wanted to remind me that there would be no lifeguards on duty at all that day, and that “even he” wasn’t going to stick around much longer. In my mind I thought “dude, if you left, I’d probably be more at ease. Don’t stick around on my account.” He added something like “it would be a real shame” if we let the kids get too close to the water and something happened to them. Thanks buddy, we drove all this way to come to the beach and not watch the 3-year-old and the almost-2-year-old. I just assumed he was some kind of senior lifeguard switching off summer mode, but without introducing himself, the whole “even he” statement and his “helpful” advice landed in a way he probably didn’t intend. I believe he meant well, but without even introducing himself or stating his role, you can imagine that he just kind of came across as a little condescending.

Have you ever tried to tell people about Christ without taking the time to “read the room” first? Even if you have the purest of motives, people don’t often take kindly to folks who jump into a conversation with them and tell them how they should be living their lives. I’m not saying God can’t use the encounter, but it seems prudent to consider how the people you’re engaging perceive your entry into the conversation. Maybe at least try a little chit chat to demonstrate your willingness to listen to their perspective before hitting them with fire and brimstone or “sinners in the hand of an angry God.”

I’ll concede, though, that if it comes down to a choice between having a curt discussion about the need for Christ and saying nothing at all, being curt takes priority. The Gospel doesn’t get spread without people spreading it. My point here is simply that when you’re about to tell people they’re destined for eternal punishment because they’re living life apart from Jesus Christ, it’s best to have a little empathy because making people defensive right off the bat tends to help them reject what you’re saying.

Going back to the guy on the beach, nothing he said was incorrect. I even think he meant well. It was his attitude and delivery that overshadowed his message and made me want to tell him to buzz off, and I want to prevent anything like that from getting in the way of someone’s acceptance of Christ as their Savior.Lord, I know You call us all to spread the message. Even if I don’t feel well-practiced, give me the words and the boldness to jump in when I feel you calling me to do it. Help me remember that even though I could obsess over not “doing it right,” You can build poor attempts into something magnificent, and are pleased by my obedience.

Posted on

Quick Hit: That Could’ve Turned Out Way Different!

Well, another school year has come and gone. More than any of his report cards or achievements in extracurricular activities that came this year, I’d like to celebrate one of my son’s accomplishments.

A middle school lunchroom is not a fun place to be. It’s bustling, it’s loud, and I probably picture a little bit of a prison chow hall when I think of one. One day this past school year, a kid sitting near my son started choking on his food. The obvious look of distress on his face gave it away. My son asked him if he was choking, and the kid nodded with wide open eyes.

“Stand up.” My son walked behind him and did the Heimlich once or twice, dislodging the problematic food chunk. The kid was able to breathe normally after that, thankfully. During the whole episode, which probably lasted 30 seconds or less, no teachers or lunch proctors noticed. My son said only about three or four kids in the immediate area realized what was going on and witnessed the event.

I’m not sure where he learned the Heimlich Maneuver, but I’m glad he did. Way to go, Pal! I’m proud of you!

Have you ever been in a setting where you assumed you were there for one reason, but in reality your presence ended up being pivotal for something different? Don’t make the mistake of thinking God can only do one thing at a time through you. God can use you, His beloved, to walk, chew gum, and do yo-yo tricks all at the same time.

You limit what God can accomplish through you when you restrict your willingness to do the different things He calls you to. If that’s something you’re doing, God’s not the limiting factor…you are.

Posted on

We Went Back to Where it all Began

A couple years ago I wrote about an earlier time when two of my kids played tee ball. Man, if you’re competitive when it comes to sports, or you generally enjoy competence, you probably want to stay away from watching tee-ball games.

These days my two kids who were in tee ball are about 10 years older than when they played the sport. My son is old enough to get a job now, and this past weekend I went with him and my younger daughter to a little league complex so he could earn some cash on opening day.

We dropped him off so he could do his thing, and my daughter and I headed into the bleachers to kill some time watching a tee-ball game while we waited. (If you decide to read my previous tee-ball post, this is the same daughter who got antsy in the stroller and I took her walking around during the games.)

When I had kids playing in a tee-ball game, it was a disaster. The kids kinda had fun, but it was hard for me to watch for some reason. This time around was different, though. The game was still a disaster for sure, but it was much more fun to watch. My daughter and I had a good time being spectators.

The second baseman still stood around picking his nose. The whole team still swarmed to (and sometimes fought over) the ball anytime there was a hit. There were still sometimes two runners on the same base. For the kids, the highlight of the experience was still having team snacks after the game.

Why the difference in perspective? I think maybe it’s because none of my kids were out there, looking like they couldn’t find their way out of a wet paper bag. I can only surmise the first time around was so frustrating for me because my kids’ team couldn’t function, but this time was a hoot because I wasn’t invested in either team and I was able to just watch and enjoy the chaos. My daughter and I sat in the bleachers, laughing at the cuteness and abject comedy on display out on the field. They were a funny bunch, and they didn’t care that they didn’t know what a good play looked like.

In your life, have you walked away from serving God in the past because it was somehow too aggravating or frustrating for you to be a part of? Maybe it’s time to give it another shot. Just because it was hard for you back then doesn’t mean it’s going to be the same today. If it is, maybe now you’re better equipped to handle it. Try doing a little reintroduction to using your gifts for God’s glory. He gave you this talent for a reason; you might find this time around is much different.

Posted on

Out of Tune and Out of Sync

My kids are old enough that at this point they’ve all played instruments in the school band/orchestra. While I have to admit the concerts during those early years can make the audience cringe from time to time, it’s much more enjoyable to attend concerts after those musicians gain a few years of experience. A couple of my kiddos have done well enough with their music to make the cut into groups requiring an audition, and those concerts are the fun ones to attend.

Maybe you’ve had kids (or a sibling) in some kind of concert band/orchestra; as a concert draws near, you hear them at home rehearsing the same parts over and over. They get smoother with time, but you still only hear the same parts repeated time and again. This goes on and on until the concert finally arrives.

Before the concert begins it’s common to hear the musicians warming up on stage. At first it’s the sound of a weird, jumbled mess of all kinds of different instruments doing their own thing according to their own timing. It’s certainly not a polished sound. The conductor or other music teacher is usually running around, helping students do last-minute tunings. Then, as the warm-up nears its end, the conductor takes the podium and has each section play a few different notes. It’s interesting to me how the conductor can detect an instrument out there somewhere that’s not tuned correctly, and he or she will have the different students of that section play, one at a time, until they’ve found the errant instrument and made adjustments.

Finally, after introductions, the conductor once again takes the podium and indicates to the musicians to prepare to play. The conductor is usually the most interesting person to watch. I’ve seen a number of them in the concerts my kids have been a part of. Sometimes they’re energetic, other times not so much. Some are very straight-laced, and others have a little more flair. They’re all very talented, and they try to coax excellence out of their musicians.

Depending on the size of the group of students, the conductor has a lot to keep an eye on. The kids all have different energy levels for a concert. Some are calm beyond their years. Others have nervous energy that leaks out in the form of a foot that doesn’t stop tapping, a knee that doesn’t stop bouncing, or a head that doesn’t stop bobbing or swaying. The conductor has to manage the enthusiasm of the entire body. Many times the energy accompanying the excitement of the evening nearly boils over, and the pace or volume needs to be reigned in a little bit. Later in the concert, maybe in a section where one of the students wasn’t able to show up for the concert, the others in that section need to come up with a little more than they otherwise would have. It’s fun to see when the conductor points to a section and beckons them silently, but urgently, as if to say “c’mon, I need more from you!” As the piece builds and builds, it gets to the point the conductor has been waiting for, where their arms flail about and they nod their head emphatically as if to say “now!”

Part of the real enjoyment of a concert is the fact that all these musicians are contributing to something larger than themselves. Those parts my kids have been practicing over and over are definitely audible, but I also hear plenty of parts from other instruments I haven’t been hearing at home. Those parts are stitched together to produce something none of the individual instruments could have produced on their own. At some point in a good concert I’m just kind of overcome with awe: “This is how it’s supposed to be. Everyone’s doing something different, but they’re all working together toward a common goal.”

It’s a beautiful metaphor for the body of Christ. Even though we might possess similar gifts as others and might be grouped into sections, we still play a variety of instruments. Some are gifted at evangelism while others excel at teaching. Certain people have the gift of helps, or hospitality, or exhortation; others possess talents like administration, leadership, or compassion. Even the odd instruments that don’t have an appealing sound (like the slapper or the clunky bells with a tinny sound) contribute beneficially to the piece. They often punctuate the music in a memorable way. Yep, we have lots of those folks in the body of Christ, and I’m thankful for them!

Through all of this, the most important thing is to keep your eyes on the conductor. It’s easy to get distracted by the person next to you, or getting too far ahead of yourself thinking about the difficult part coming up, or even having your timing thrown off. Watching the conductor keeps you grounded and dealing only with the here and now, it keeps you on the right beat, and it tells you when to start and when to stop. Don’t lose sight of the one who can see everybody and who’s holding everything together. Follow the conductor’s lead and you’ll contribute something beautiful to something larger than yourself.

Posted on

Alright, it’s Time To Go; Everybody out the Door!

It’s funny just how much kids can teach you about God’s dealings with us.

I’ve got three kids; a girl, a boy, and another girl. They all have different approaches when they know it’s time to leave the house.

My oldest is very deliberate, and spends a lot of time planning to avoid feeling rushed. As long as she knows the departure time, she’ll work backwards from there to calculate time for clothes, time for hair, time for gathering necessities, etc.

My son doesn’t take much time to get ready. After years of urging him to prepare, get shoes on, and use the bathroom in preparation for departure, he’s demonstrated that as long as he knows what’s coming, there’s really no need to call him until we’re about 60 seconds from actually walking out the door.

My youngest is funny. We’ll warn her about our impending departure, but she’ll stay wrapped up in a book for as long as possible. When we tell her it’s time to get shoes on because we’re leaving, that’s when she goes and packs a snack and some water. We end up waiting for her because her idea of “time to go” doesn’t jive with ours.

Based on their three different personalities, we treat them differently when we know about a deadline or timeframe we want to adhere to. The three of them need different sets of guardrails to arrive at the same end state. Their approach might be to have all questions answered before formulating a detailed plan, agreeing to the task without having much information at all, or just bobbing along with whatever today brings.

Now, keeping that parenting analogy in mind, how great is it to be known by a Creator who understands us better than we do? He knows what motivates us, what overwhelms us, what inspires us, and what deflates us. He knows exactly what we need when it’s time to get us moving in a certain direction.

Similarly, we’re all offered different opportunities to take part in building Christ’s kingdom throughout our Christian lives. We’re not required to do them, but different sets of blessings and challenges come along with each one. God already knows which of those opportunities we’ll take part in and which of them we’ll decline. He offers us invitations that are easy to accept, and others which prove to be more difficult. I imagine that while He enjoys seeing us accept those easy ones, it brings Him genuine joy to see us choose to accept the hard ones.

So the next time you know God’s extending a challenge to you, even if it’s one you don’t want to accept, why don’t you take a closer look at taking Him up on it? He knows you better than you do, and He’s going to give you everything you need to take on that challenge. Either in this life or the next, there’s a special blessing for you on the other side of your obedience.

Posted on

You’ve Got Me Seeing Stars

I enjoyed showing various video clips to my kids when they were little. When she was a toddler, I showed my youngest daughter a computer-generated animation accompanied by “Twinkle, twinkle little star.” It was slow-paced, so it easily held the attention of young little eyes. This particular version, about two and a half minutes long, featured an owl who looked up at the night sky and decided to fly up high to get a better look at a star hovering above.

As he flew to a great height, the star came to greet him. The two new friends frolicked along the tops of clouds for a bit, to the owl’s great enjoyment. It was utter happiness for the two, sharing these magical moments. Alas, all things come to an end, and eventually the owl began to fall back to earth as the star watched, waving goodbye, ending this brief friendship.

My daughter watched, captivated, until this part. As she saw the look in the owl’s eyes, along with the star’s farewell wave, a profound sadness came over her and she began to cry. This was a completely unexpected reaction. Of course children want to be in the presence of their own mother from a very young age, but it turns out even a child too young to write her name understands the importance of togetherness and the pain of separation in others. Communion and fellowship are hardwired into us; we need others.

After we slip from this life into the next, there are only two possibilities for how we’ll spend eternity. The first is joyful bliss in the everlasting presence of the Lord. The second is the shock and pain of isolation from Him. When we picture Hell, we often think of fire. While eternal smoke from unbelievers is described in the Bible (Revelation 14:11), I think we usually miss the fact that folks in this category have no chance of ever getting right with, and spending time with the Almighty, other than standing before Him in judgment. While Christians can rest in the idea of Christ’s love, those who reject Him will themselves be rejected and cast into an existence of separation from Him (and likely everyone else).

Just a little reminder of what’s at stake here. You might very well be the only person to speak Christ to someone else. Don’t worry about messing it up. They’re already facing the worst-case scenario: eternity separated from the Lord. You can’t make it any worse, but you can help them gain the only thing that matters. Start a conversation today.

Posted on

A Vivid Reminder of His Goodness in my Life

Years back our family took its first plane trip. We visited family in Colorado, had a lot of fun, enjoyed our time quite a bit, and went to the Denver airport for our return trip as travel pros.

I have a gigantic book of Sudoku puzzles I brought with me on that trip. I’d dink around with it on and off during the flight. Trying to switch things up to reduce boredom for our kids, we moved them around to different seats part way through the flight. My youngest daughter, who was four years old at the time, would be sitting next to me for the landing.

During final approach when we started to really drop in altitude, she developed a nose bleed. It was the worst possible time to do it, too. The seatbelt signs were on, the flight attendants were all buckled in, and I didn’t have any tissues or napkins or anything. I called to my wife across the aisle, hoping she’d have some tissues. She did, but they were in her purse, stowed in the overhead bin.

It was such a helpless feeling, not being able to help my little girl when she needed me and couldn’t do anything to help herself. To my great relief, someone in the row behind me heard what was happening and gave us some of her tissues (thank you!).

Once we got home again, we unpacked our things, did all kinds of laundry and grocery shopping, and life began to return to normal. After things had returned to normal I sat down with my Sudoku book. I opened it up to the page where I’d last been working, and was almost startled to see blood on the page until I remembered where I’d been the last time I used the book. To this day I don’t think I remember anything else about that flight, but I remember the bloody nose adventure.

The Bible recounts multiple instances of the Israelites setting up markers, recounting stories to their children verbally, celebrating feasts, and using pneumonic devices to remember what the Lord had done for them. God set up these circumstances and commanded these reminders so that, in an age without notebooks, plaques, or screens, people would be able to easily remember the Lord’s actions on their behalf.

Although this little reminder of mine pales in comparison to being led out of captivity or being established in a land flowing with milk and honey, I’m nonetheless very grateful for the Lord’s provision for my daughter in a time of need. I wouldn’t even recognize the “tissue woman” if I bumped into her, but I’m glad our paths crossed for a few moments years ago.

Do you have any reminders in your own life of the way God’s moved for your benefit? It could be a scar, a vivid memory, or perhaps some trinket, memento, or photo. The Lord still moves in peoples’ lives today, and it’s good to remember His involvement in your life. Keep that in mind as you face new challenges in your daily living.