I’ve got three kids. It’s fun to watch them grow, figure stuff out, and then teach each other the things they’ve picked up over time.
My older two have figured out that when they’re scared of doing something, whether it’s go down in the basement or knock on a neighbor’s door, it’s usually not as bad if they take someone along with them. As a result, their little sister often ends up going down in the basement or knocking on a neighbor’s door along with them.
Taking it a step further, the two older kids are downright brave if they’re watching out for their little sister, even if it’s something that ordinarily gives them the willies.
Ever notice how you tend to be more brave if you’re watching out for someone? You can more easily pull yourself together in a bad situation when someone else depends on you. When someone else relies on you, it takes you out of yourself, and you can rise above your fears.
There are a lot of very anxious people out there these days. If you’re one of them, the first thing I’d probably recommend is to ease back on the amount of news coverage you take in. News reports aren’t known for their soothing nature. Beyond that, though, consider mentoring someone or helping them through the unique circumstances in which we now find ourselves. If you’re focused on helping someone else get through a difficult time, you spend less time worrying about how you are going to make it.
Don’t get me wrong, take care of yourself first. What I’m talking about is the extra time and energy you might waste worrying. I’ve heard it said that worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
If you’re prone to excess worry, take a look around and see who you can help settle. It’s going to be okay, but in order for some folks to believe that, they might need to hear it from you.
My wife is a wonderful woman. Not only does she take care of our kiddos and I, she also pours into the lives of many of the women she knows.
At any given time she
has at least one friend that’s going through heartbreaking circumstances or
challenges, and she tries to help them in various ways. One weekday at church
she was the lead for her class’s Bible study, which was a source of stress for
her in terms of preparation and delivering the material. Though the class
itself went well, another woman she knew sought her out afterward, and it
resulted in a conversation that required a lot of mental energy and focus. It
wasn’t a bad encounter, but it added to the stress of a particularly draining
day. By the time she left church with our preschool-aged daughter, she just
wanted to get home and do something that didn’t require any thought or energy,
but she knew our little girl would want to read some books or play pretend with
some of her toys.
Mentally exhausted and physically worn out, she arrived home to see that I had come home early for a dental appointment, and was just about to leave. Instead of driving right from work to the dentist, I came home first because I wanted to change clothes so I could run an errand after the dentist. My daughter got excited and wanted to go with me because the last time she went with me to the dentist, one of the assistants had allowed her to pick a toy out of the little treasure chest, just for tagging along. Well, that sounded good to everyone, so my little sidekick and I drove off.
My wife came inside to
a quiet house and collapsed on the couch. Before long she thought of something
she needed to do online. She picked up our laptop and went to turn it on, but
the battery was dead. Taking this as a sign, she put it back down and closed
her eyes for just a few moments. She ended up getting a half hour of
much-needed quiet…an opportunity that would not have happened if our daughter
stayed home and if the laptop’s battery had any life in it.
People often forget
this, but the God of the
big things is God of the little things, too. Foreseeing this need, God
laid the groundwork for that day. There were at least three separate things
that needed to happen in order for these conditions to exist for my wife. I
don’t remember what errand I intended to run after the dentist, but God worked
it out that instead of going right from work to the dentist, I first came home
to change clothes. In addition to that, I don’t know how long before that day
my daughter came with me to the dentist, but somehow God set up the
circumstances for that previous visit so that I was home and took my little
girl with me and she got a toy, conditioning her to want to go again the next
time. Similarly, however we used the laptop the day before (or the morning of)
the Bible study resulted in a dead battery by the time my wife arrived home.
It’s as if God says “if you follow me and work for me, you’re
going to have hard times, but I’m going to take care of you.” Never forget that God is sovereign; there is
nothing He can’t control. When you’re living in His will, He goes before you
and “plows the road” ahead of you to get you where He wants you to be. On the
flip side, if you’re not living in His will, there will probably be times when
it seems like there hasn’t been one particularly difficult challenge, but you
feel like you’re expending a lot of energy just to accomplish something minor.
So, especially during
this busy season, remember: the God of the big things is God of the little
things, too.
(Programming note: In observance of the Thanksgiving
holiday, I’m switching up this week’s posting schedule. Next week will be back
to Thursday.)
When my kids were very
young, like a lot of kids, they were pretty self-centered. This wasn’t a
surprise; when any child’s world is still very small, they naturally think of
themselves as the center of the universe.
My wife and I found a
way to start breaking them out of that thought process. Every night at bedtime,
we started doing what we call “Thankful Hearts.” We’d each say a few things for
which we were thankful. My wife and I started out with some examples. We might
say something like “I’m thankful we had enough food to eat today, I’m thankful you
didn’t get hurt worse when you fell down today, and I’m thankful our house is
keeping us warm and dry while it’s rainy and cold outside.”
It took a little
adjustment for them, but over time our kids began focusing less on their “I wants”
and more on their “I already haves.” This roundabout way of counting their
blessings helped our kids understand that it’s a special thing to have enough
when others don’t. That type of security allows people to turn their focus
outward; instead of our kids’ prayer requests sounding like a Christmas list
for items they wanted for themselves, they soon began bringing their requests
to God on behalf of the needs of others.
In a world where every
commercial or advertisement you watch, read, or hear tries to convince you that
what you already have is inadequate, it’s easy to become dissatisfied. That’s
the goal of advertising. It’s also easy to get caught in the whole “keep up
with the Joneses” mentality. Don’t forget though, especially as we head into
Christmas season, to be thankful for the areas of your life where you already
have “enough,” especially if you’re assured of your salvation through the
sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Thankfulness of that eternal assurance allows you to
be confident and enables you to turn your focus outward and share the good news
with those who, in that sense, aren’t as blessed as you are.
I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I
will sing the praises of your name, O Most High. Psalm 9:1-2
Little kids are a hoot,
man. Mine are all old enough to swim on their own at this point, but it’s fun
to think about when they were younger and the things they’d do at the pool.
As a dad, one of the fun
things to see is the trust your kids place in you. The pool is a place where
the trust you’ve built with your kids becomes most evident. For a kiddo that’s
3 or 4 years old and doesn’t know how to swim yet, it’s a scary thing to walk
to the edge of the pool and jump into water that might be too deep to stand in.
It’s a big deal to jump off the side of the pool into Daddy’s arms! You look at
them and you can almost see the wheels turning. It’s like they’re thinking “Daddy’s
right there, but will he catch me if I jump?”
It’s so fun to stand in
the pool, looking up at them, and say “go ahead, I’ll catch you,” and to see
them think it over. I have three kids, so I’ve seen a few different reactions.
There’s always some hesitation; sometimes it passes quickly and other times it
takes some additional coaxing for them to commit to the jump.
It’s fun to watch their
eyes, too. They look at my outstretched arms, gauging whether or not they think
they can make it. Once they decide they think they can do it, they look me in
the eyes, seeking assurance that I’m focused on them and will be there when
they need me. My next move would be to give them a non-verbal green light.
Sometimes it was a silent nod. Other times it was a big smile. With intense focus, they’d stick
out their little tongue, crouch, and take a flying leap into Daddy’s arms.
It’s a simple, but
beautiful picture. As the father to my children, I cherish that trust that
we’ve developed together. They each placed so much trust in me that each one of
them were willing to step outside their comfort zones to do something beyond
what they could do on their own. Building trust is something that’s done over
time, but can be shattered in an instant. As they each belly-flopped their way
into my arms, it was so fun to join in their celebration with exclamations, smiles,
and laughs. Almost right away they wanted to do it again, and then again. Building
further on that trust, I was able to back farther away from the edge, or move
into deeper water, and they’d be okay with making the leap because they knew.
They knew “it’s okay, he’s got me.”
Your Heavenly Father
takes pleasure in seeing you demonstrate your trust in Him, too. Nothing brings
Him a smile quite like seeing His children trust Him and leap with both feet
into the challenge He’s given to them. Like an earthly father, He coaxes the
child according to what he or she needs. Maybe it’s a silent nod, a big smile,
or in some cases, a push from behind.
Give Him an opportunity to build more trust with you. Summon up your courage and concentration, stick out your tongue, and take that flying leap. He’s got you.
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I’ve got three kids.
I’ve had my share of seeing one or more of them knowing that they ought to tell me something, even though they
don’t want to.
You can see the nervous fidgeting, their eyes looking anywhere but at you, and you know right away that the longer they take to tell you, the worse the irreversible damage might be somewhere. Did they flush something weird down the toilet and now it’s clogged and overflowing all over the floor? Did they pick up a fish from the fishbowl and accidentally drop it on the floor? Did they accidentally hurt their brother or sister, who now needs help in a hurry?
Your mind goes crazy
thinking about all the things that could
be wrong, and all you want to do is find out the truth so you can take
immediate action if you need to. As the kiddo stands there, searching for the
right way to break the news to Dad, it’s maddening to see them slow down even
further, hinting at things to gauge how Dad reacts to different approaches. On
the inside you’re screaming “just TELL me already!”, but you know that will
stall the truth even more, so you have to cover any appearance of urgency and
gently coax it out of them without looking mad.
Have you ever been in a
situation like that? All you want is the truth. It might be at the doctor’s
office after some test results come back. You see them start to hem and haw,
uncertain about the best way to deliver the news. All the uncertainty you’ve
been wrestling with has created more anxiety, and all you want to do is yell
“just TELL me already!”
Have you ever felt that
way on a grander scale? Not just for a blip during your past, but over a much
longer span of time. You’ve had your ups and downs, but it feels like there
ought to be more. Maybe you have a nice family, a nice house, you even have a
great career, but it still feels like something’s missing, or that you’re waiting
for the other shoe to drop. What’s this life all about? You don’t even care how
it’s going to make you feel; you just want someone to tell you the rest of the
story.
Well if you want it,
here it is.
You’re not good enough.
I’m not talking about not being good enough at your job, at being a nice person, or at not burning the crust in the oven. I’m talking big picture. When everyone, including you, was born, they were set on a course that does not lead to Heaven. And why? Because nobody’s perfect. Heaven only accepts perfection. Even if folks are good people that lead good, moral lives, after this life they are headed for eternal suffering and anguish. It’s not good news, but this is the sound of the other shoe dropping. If you don’t believe in the afterlife, I understand how it might sound kooky. Here’s the thing though…have you ever been on the other side of death?
There’s good news about
all this: there is a sure way to change course. There is a way out of this default
eventuality.
You’ve heard the name
Jesus Christ. You may even have said it a few times, but who is He? He’s God’s Son…the
power of God incarnate…all the power of God in human form. If He lived in
Heaven, why would God show up as a person on Earth?
It’s kind of an odd answer: to withstand your punishment and serve your sentence on your behalf. Christ was perfect and fulfilled all of God’s laws flawlessly, but was wrongfully accused and executed. He spent a full day in Hell, taking my place, taking your place, taking the sweet grandma down the street’s place, taking the death row inmate’s place. Then He conquered it: He came back to life the third day after His death. By doing this He broke the power of Hell. Out of love, Jesus Christ now extends a hand to everyone, regardless of age, race, gender, orientation, national origin, regardless of everything. None of that matters, because each of those people falls short of perfection. By accepting His invitation, you switch sides…you’re no longer destined for eternal suffering and sorrow regarding this missed opportunity. People that take His hand are clothed in His perfection; they are destined instead for a joyous future in God’s presence alongside others that have made the same decision.
Some will tell you that
many roads lead to Heaven. I’m sorry, but that’s simply not accurate. A
relationship with Jesus Christ is the only way to ensure an eternity in Heaven.
He even said so in John 14:6 – Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and
the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
Now I just want to
explain something. My writing is simply not compelling enough to convince
people to make this decision. If you feel something tugging at your mind and
heart, though, that’s God working on you. I’m just the method He’s using to
reach you. Please don’t ignore the pull…Christ can whisper to you, but He won’t
force you to switch sides. You don’t have anything to lose, but you have
everything to gain.
Maybe you’ve never
prayed before, but if you’re open to this, pray this prayer along with me:
Dear Jesus…thank you so
much for loving me even when I don’t deserve you at all. Lord, come into my life,
change me, break me, make me new, make me whole…forgive me. Purify my heart.
Jesus I believe you died on the cross and rose again three days later. You are
my savior and one day I will live with You forever. But meanwhile, help me to
stand for you. To shine for you, to make a difference and let your truth be
known. Use me Lord, Holy Spirit fill me to overflowing. I love you so much! In
Jesus’ name, amen.
If you’re not quite ready for that, but you’re open to hearing more, I encourage you to listen to this man’s story. We’ve heard of instances where people die for a few moments on the operating table, only to be revived and tell stories of a brief vision of Heaven. But what if we got a brief view of Hell? It’s a remarkable story.
For those with a little less time (or for more encouragement after the first video), have a listen to this song. It conveys why Jesus would give up everything…because the Savior of the World would rather die than live without you.
Even if you’re skeptical about all this, please consider passing this on. If you’re already on board, please share it either by posting it in your social media or by forwarding this link: https://daregreatlynow.com/?p=650
Eternity hangs in the
balance. Will you see someone in Heaven because you helped them get there?
One day when my
youngest daughter was four, she asked Mommy if she could have a lollipop. It
was too late in the evening to let her have it though, so my wife told her she
could have one the next day. Sure enough, our little one remembered the next
day:
“Mom? Is it tomorrow?”
“Yes, today’s the
tomorrow we talked about yesterday.”
It’s an off-the-cuff,
but profound saying. “Today’s the tomorrow we talked about yesterday.” When you
think about it, each of us is the product of our past choices and experiences.
You are the person you are today because of the things you’ve gone through.
If you could go back
and change something somewhere along the line…erase a mistake…capitalize on the
knowledge you have now…you’d have a new set of experiences. You’d no longer be
the person you are.
You are the person God knew you’d be at this point. He can, and (if you let Him) He will use you to do great things for His kingdom. All the mistakes, all the missed opportunities, along with all the high points, milestones, and celebrations…they helped shape who you are right now. Because of who you are, with your placement and background, there’s something that only you are equipped to do for God’s glory.
In the same way, the
things you experience today will shape your tomorrow. This includes not only
the things that happen to you, but the situations you place yourself into. The
choices you make hold tremendous bearing over what will happen to your future.
Make sure you’re making good ones.
Tomorrow will soon be
here; will your future self be thankful for what you’re doing today?
Three or four years ago
our family of five went to see my folks for Easter. It was the time of year
when the winter’s cold was gone and the kids could finally get some time
playing outside.
While we were all in
their backyard one day, I told my wife and kids about some of the places I used
to visit in the woods nearby when I was a kid. On the spur of the moment, we
all decided to take a trip into the forest to have a look for ourselves.
Our kiddos have always
enjoyed being in the woods, but most of the places we’ve taken them have had nice
wide trails that make it easy to get around. There were no trails here, so we
had to find our own way. Without really thinking too much about it, my plan was
to bring them into the woods through one section, then bring them down to see
some cool spots along the creek, and then start coming back up through a
different area.
We got down to the
creek, and I showed them an old well, then brought them to the spot where some
of us slid down a natural waterslide and built dams as kids. I had a childhood
friend whose dad loved golf; in order to work on his swing, he’d stand in his
yard and drive old golf balls into the forest. As a kid, friends and I would
come across some of these golf balls while playing in the woods; they were
always in the same general area, so he must’ve had a consistent swing. J Now, with my own family in tow, I told my kids to
keep an eye out for golf balls. Sure enough, we found at least one.
As we started heading
back, I took them along an easy route I followed when I was younger. It’s a
funny thing though, if you stay out of a forest for 10 or 15 years, you might
be surprised at how much it changes while you’re gone.
We crossed back over
the creek and started heading back up the hill. It started getting tricky,
though, because in our path were numerous thorn bushes I didn’t remember
running into before. We’d make some progress up the hill, only to run into a
spot that was too thick for us to pass, so we’d have to scoot sideways or even
come back down the hill some. There were spots where we could squeeze through,
but I had to step on a few thorny branches and hold back others with one hand
while my kiddos carefully passed through.
It’s not so bad when
you’re tall enough to see over the thorn bushes, but when you’re only about
three feet tall and Mom and Dad don’t seem to know where they’re going, it can
be scary and even overwhelming. My kids started getting worried, even coming to
the verge of tears, so I stopped being delicate with the thorns in order to
move us along faster. Instead of grabbing them with just a finger and thumb, I
pushed them aside and held them out of the way with the back of my hand so we
could make wider openings and move toward our goal a little quicker.
It was slow going, but
the kids hung in there and we finally made it out of the woods. As the panic
subsided, the kids noticed that one of my hands had a surprising amount of
blood on it. I didn’t have any bad cuts, but the thorns had scratched me enough
that it caused the blood to start flowing. It looked much worse than it actually
was, but my daughter was very concerned because of how much blood she saw. Through
her eyes, all she knew was that Daddy was bleeding so that the rest of them
could safely pass through the dangerous spots.
As we had approached
Easter that year, we had been talking more frequently about the suffering Jesus
endured aside from the cross. The beatings, the humiliation, the crown of
thorns, the sheer indignity, and all sorts of other often-forgotten things are still
part of the story. He was so weak from the beating and other types of suffering
that He couldn’t even carry the cross, as the condemned often did. My wife
voiced the connection, using our adventure as an object lesson. It’s like it
clicked for my oldest daughter. He took
my place. I escaped the suffering because someone else did it for me.
I don’t know where you
are in life, or if you consider yourself a spiritual person. None of that
changes the fact that Christ paid for the price of your admission into Heaven.
You can’t earn it, you can’t pay your own way, and you can’t pay Him back. The
only way to get into Heaven is to use the ticket He bought you. He bought
tickets for everyone, but only a small percentage of people take Him up on the
offer.
He’s holding out a
ticket for you, and He wants you to take it. Will you accept it?
I don’t know what it is
about Dads, but we love to get our kids riled up. We know we shouldn’t do it as much as we do, but we can’t help it
sometimes. Daddies are the loud ones, the human jungle gyms, and the ones that
tend to ratchet things up rather than down. Mommies are the soothers, the
comforters, the ones the kids go to when something hurts (probably because of something
Daddy did while roughhousing).
Since my kids were
little, the basement has been the place where they could be loud. If they had
too much sugar or they were just a little extra wound up, we’d banish them to
the basement for awhile. When my two oldest kids were pretty young, one time I
took them in the basement to work off some energy while Mommy got a little
peace and quiet upstairs. My oldest daughter and my son loved when Daddy went a
little crazy with them.
Around that time we
came up with a game that was kind of like dodgeball. Back then our basement was
set up so that as you came down the stairs, you pulled a U-turn and walked down
a hallway to another room. Right across from the bottom of the stairs was
another room. I’d go to the room at the far end of the hall and throw a ball at
the wall near the bottom of the stairs while my kiddos ran back and forth
between the two safe zones (the blind spot at the bottom of the stairs and the
room across from it). It sounds kind of sadistic, but they loved it and they
weren’t going to get hurt. I had a ball that was kind of scary because it was
very loud when it hit the wall, so any time it “just missed” them, it was a big
thrill for them because they had snuck past Daddy’s throw without getting hit.
I pegged them plenty of times too, but it usually ended with lots of giggles. J
My kids weren’t very
old at this point, probably about 5 and 3. They loved playing this game though,
because this is where they learned to use teamwork to “distract” Daddy. One
would feint, act like they were going to dash across the line of fire, but it
was really just a trick to get Daddy to throw the ball while they were still
safe, and then the other one would make a break for it before the ball bounced
back to Daddy.
I’d try bouncing the
ball off the hallway’s walls, or putting spin on the ball so that it still
bounced after them even if they were in the safe zones. Naturally, the ball
would get stuck on their side every now and then, but they’d peek out from
behind their cover, pick it up, and throw it to me and dive back for cover
before I could pick it up and throw it again.
Little dodgeball champions
One time my little guy
picked it up and threw it to me, but then forgot to get back behind some cover.
I gave him some warning and made a big show of winding up for a big throw, but
he still wasn’t catching on that he was exposed. With all the gravity of a
life-and-death situation, big sis dashed across the line of fire, knowing full
well that Daddy was about to unleash a fastball. My little
medal-of-honor-winner-in-training jumped behind him and grabbed him under his armpits,
and then yanked him back to safety. He fell down on top of her in the process,
with the ball narrowly missing both of them.
There are some things
in the Bible that you just don’t fully appreciate unless you deal with young
kids a lot. This story about my kids helps me better grasp one story in the
book of Mark (10:17-31). A rich young ruler came up to Jesus and asked “what do
I need to do to have eternal life?” This guy was probably a young ruler in the
local synagogue, steeped in the legalism of the day. With his line of thinking
he was essentially looking for some kind of religious deed he could perform
that would guarantee his entry into Heaven. Although he was misguided, that
didn’t make him insincere.
Jesus more or less told
him “you know the deal…follow all the commandments…don’t murder, don’t commit
adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t defraud, and honor your father and
mother.”
While most of us at
that point probably would have remembered at least one time in our lives where
we told a lie or let Mom or Dad down, this guy had a different reaction.
“Yep, I’m good with all
that. What else do I need to do?”
If you’re Jesus, and
this guy has the nerve to say that to you, even if he believed it was true,
what are you gonna be thinking?
Here’s the part that my
kids helped me understand. “Jesus looked at him and loved him.”
Some translations might
say that Jesus felt great compassion for him. I was truly moved to see my
daughter sacrifice her safety for the sake of her little brother. The guy in
the story was earnestly seeking the truth from Christ, but he didn’t know he
was now playing in a different league. Like seeing my little guy standing in
the line of fire without knowing he was in danger, Christ probably looked at
this young man and thought to himself “Bless your little heart. You’re so
clueless and you don’t even know it.”
There are lots of other
fatherhood experiences where those words came to mind: “Jesus looked at him and
loved him.” Christ had compassion both for people that were His followers and for
people that were not. We’re called to do the same.
Ever think about how
you don’t need help getting into trouble? Ever notice how you don’t need to
teach kids to do bad stuff? For example, did you show them how to lie, or did
they just kind of figure that one out on their own?
My son has told us some
lies before. These were like, blatant, totally unprompted lies. He’s a little
more slick about it these days, but when he was just a little guy, he once said
“I don’t have anything in my mouth” after he got into a bag of chips
without our permission. His mouth was…you guessed it…full of chips! On
another occasion he was supposed to be up in his room napping. When he came
down, without us saying anything, he told us “I wasn’t looking out the
window.”
Dude, at least make it
hard for us.
Most of the time instructions
and laws seem to be phrased in negative terms. “Don’t lie.”
“Don’t cheat.” It’s much more rare to have laws that are positive in
nature. Most of the Ten Commandments are the same way. Only two of them are
phrased in the positive (remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy; respect
your father and mother).
Elsewhere in the Bible
God gives other instructions. Sometimes He says stuff that’s intuitive or
obvious. Other times He tells us stuff that maybe we’ve heard or read a few
times, but we still miss it even though it’s something we ought to know and
need some help learning.
Valentine’s Day presents the opportunity to reflect on
one such instruction.
In many marriages, you
can ask the husband “does your wife love you?” Often he’ll answer
“well, yeah, sure she does.” Probe a little further, though, and you
might identify a problem. “Does she respect you?” The answer probably
doesn’t come as quickly, and if he doesn’t feel as though his wife respects
him, there could be an issue.
Hang on though, guys, ‘cuz
you’re not perfect, either. Stick with me, there’s a Biblical basis for this. The
opposite is often true for wives. She might feel sufficiently respected, but
she might not quite feel loved. (There’s a difference between knowing you’re loved and feeling that you’re
loved.)
Regardless of whether
you’re a male or female breadwinner, “working all day just to put food on
the table and keep a roof over our heads” is great, but isn’t the only
thing your significant other needs from you.
If either one isn’t
getting what they need, that person is running at an emotional deficit. Wives,
maybe you respect your husbands, but he may not feel it. Husbands, of course
you love your wives, but you need to make her know it and believe it. For
everybody…your spouse needs what they need; just because you don’t feel like
you require extra love/respect doesn’t mean they can go without it. Don’t cut
them off from what they need just because you look at them through the prism of
you.
Take a look at the book
of Ephesians. In chapter 5, God tells us (in positive verbiage) what to do. He
doesn’t give us a “don’t,” he gives us a “do.” These days
the first part is easy to misconstrue as being outdated and part of the
“toxic masculinity” you hear about in men’s razor commercials. Don’t
twist it; read the whole thing. Right on the heels of talking about how to live
with and treat other Christians, the author turns his attention to household
relationships in verses 22-33.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might [g]sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, [h]of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Note how it doesn’t say
“husbands, respect your wives,” or “wives, love your
husbands.” Why not? Because most of the time, those things aren’t the
shortfalls. We’re probably already doing them. This passage guides us to do
something that doesn’t come naturally.
There’s a whole study
on this topic called “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs. I’ve
never read the book, but the DVD series was phenomenal. “Pink and
Blue…not wrong…just different.” Great stuff for a small group setting
or Sunday School class.
If you haven’t been
offering what your spouse needs, and then you start providing it, watch how
powerful an agent it can be. Flowers and chocolates are great and all, but how
about this year, you make a concerted effort to deliver what your spouse or
significant other really needs?
Happy Valentine’s Day!
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Our youngest child is
at the stage where she still has bad dreams fairly often. She wakes up crying
during the night, and my wonderful wife usually goes running into her room to
try to settle her down before she wakes up anyone else in the house.
A few mornings ago my
daughter woke up crying. I was already awake, laying in bed, when I heard the
cry begin. I jumped out of bed before my wife started stirring, trying to
return the favor. I went into my daughter’s room and told her “Daddy’s
here now.” I brushed her hair out of her face, rubbed her shoulder, and
kissed her cheek. She calmed down and we prayed, but she wasn’t settled. I stayed
with her a little bit longer, and then went back to bed.
Laying there for a bit,
it wasn’t long before I heard her little feet came walking into our room. But she
didn’t come walking over to my side. She made a beeline right for Mommy. My
wife talked and cuddled with her a little bit, then brought her back to bed and
got her tucked and settled in, where she stayed for the rest of the night.
How many of us are like
that? Whether we like to admit it or not, there’s a God-shaped hole in all of
us. We’re restless until it’s filled. We try to fill the hole with different things…anything.
For some it can be destructive things; alcohol, drugs, relationships that
aren’t built to last, more serious types of crime, or even dark spiritual
things. Others try to fill it with things that might be good, but don’t quite quench
the thirst. Making more money, performing charity work, being very active in
community groups, donating your time/energy/resources to civic or political
causes you believe in, etc.
The problem is, those things are like Daddy trying to settle his daughter in for the night after a bad dream. They might serve as temporary solutions, but they don’t bring a peace that lasts.
To fill the God-shaped
hole in your life, only Christ will satisfy.
