Tag: parenthood

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Today’s the Tomorrow We Talked About Yesterday

One day when my youngest daughter was four, she asked Mommy if she could have a lollipop. It was too late in the evening to let her have it though, so my wife told her she could have one the next day. Sure enough, our little one remembered the next day:

“Mom? Is it tomorrow?”

“Yes, today’s the tomorrow we talked about yesterday.”

It’s an off-the-cuff, but profound saying. “Today’s the tomorrow we talked about yesterday.” When you think about it, each of us is the product of our past choices and experiences. You are the person you are today because of the things you’ve gone through.

If you could go back and change something somewhere along the line…erase a mistake…capitalize on the knowledge you have now…you’d have a new set of experiences. You’d no longer be the person you are.

You are the person God knew you’d be at this point. He can, and (if you let Him) He will use you to do great things for His kingdom. All the mistakes, all the missed opportunities, along with all the high points, milestones, and celebrations…they helped shape who you are right now. Because of who you are, with your placement and background, there’s something that only you are equipped to do for God’s glory.

In the same way, the things you experience today will shape your tomorrow. This includes not only the things that happen to you, but the situations you place yourself into. The choices you make hold tremendous bearing over what will happen to your future. Make sure you’re making good ones.

Tomorrow will soon be here; will your future self be thankful for what you’re doing today?

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You Did That For Me?

Photo courtesy of wordsofreason.wordpress.com

Three or four years ago our family of five went to see my folks for Easter. It was the time of year when the winter’s cold was gone and the kids could finally get some time playing outside.

While we were all in their backyard one day, I told my wife and kids about some of the places I used to visit in the woods nearby when I was a kid. On the spur of the moment, we all decided to take a trip into the forest to have a look for ourselves.

Our kiddos have always enjoyed being in the woods, but most of the places we’ve taken them have had nice wide trails that make it easy to get around. There were no trails here, so we had to find our own way. Without really thinking too much about it, my plan was to bring them into the woods through one section, then bring them down to see some cool spots along the creek, and then start coming back up through a different area.

We got down to the creek, and I showed them an old well, then brought them to the spot where some of us slid down a natural waterslide and built dams as kids. I had a childhood friend whose dad loved golf; in order to work on his swing, he’d stand in his yard and drive old golf balls into the forest. As a kid, friends and I would come across some of these golf balls while playing in the woods; they were always in the same general area, so he must’ve had a consistent swing. J Now, with my own family in tow, I told my kids to keep an eye out for golf balls. Sure enough, we found at least one.

As we started heading back, I took them along an easy route I followed when I was younger. It’s a funny thing though, if you stay out of a forest for 10 or 15 years, you might be surprised at how much it changes while you’re gone.

We crossed back over the creek and started heading back up the hill. It started getting tricky, though, because in our path were numerous thorn bushes I didn’t remember running into before. We’d make some progress up the hill, only to run into a spot that was too thick for us to pass, so we’d have to scoot sideways or even come back down the hill some. There were spots where we could squeeze through, but I had to step on a few thorny branches and hold back others with one hand while my kiddos carefully passed through.

It’s not so bad when you’re tall enough to see over the thorn bushes, but when you’re only about three feet tall and Mom and Dad don’t seem to know where they’re going, it can be scary and even overwhelming. My kids started getting worried, even coming to the verge of tears, so I stopped being delicate with the thorns in order to move us along faster. Instead of grabbing them with just a finger and thumb, I pushed them aside and held them out of the way with the back of my hand so we could make wider openings and move toward our goal a little quicker.

It was slow going, but the kids hung in there and we finally made it out of the woods. As the panic subsided, the kids noticed that one of my hands had a surprising amount of blood on it. I didn’t have any bad cuts, but the thorns had scratched me enough that it caused the blood to start flowing. It looked much worse than it actually was, but my daughter was very concerned because of how much blood she saw. Through her eyes, all she knew was that Daddy was bleeding so that the rest of them could safely pass through the dangerous spots.

As we had approached Easter that year, we had been talking more frequently about the suffering Jesus endured aside from the cross. The beatings, the humiliation, the crown of thorns, the sheer indignity, and all sorts of other often-forgotten things are still part of the story. He was so weak from the beating and other types of suffering that He couldn’t even carry the cross, as the condemned often did. My wife voiced the connection, using our adventure as an object lesson. It’s like it clicked for my oldest daughter. He took my place. I escaped the suffering because someone else did it for me.

I don’t know where you are in life, or if you consider yourself a spiritual person. None of that changes the fact that Christ paid for the price of your admission into Heaven. You can’t earn it, you can’t pay your own way, and you can’t pay Him back. The only way to get into Heaven is to use the ticket He bought you. He bought tickets for everyone, but only a small percentage of people take Him up on the offer.

He’s holding out a ticket for you, and He wants you to take it. Will you accept it?

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Hanging on by a Thread (Part 2 of 3)

(See Part 1 here and Part 3 here)

The next few days after my father-in-law, Lee, got whisked away to the hospital were a blur. Whatever had gone wrong with his heart was a complicated thing. Doctors put him in a medically induced coma and dropped his body temperature for a few days as a way of “rebooting” him. Since this was right after Christmas, family that had just left turned around and came back. One of Lee and Pam’s daughters flew in from Alaska. People were constantly calling, trying to find out the latest information, even when there was nothing new to report. The adrenaline we all ran on started wearing off, and the exhaustion began setting in.

Lee’s hospital was about an hour away from his house, where my wife and three young kiddos were staying. My wife would go up there every day, but an extra two hours of travel time a day added to the burden. My kids started getting antsy; at the time they were 5, 4, and 14 months, and Mommy had never been away from them this much before. In her place, they got a guy that meant well, but just couldn’t compare to Mommy. Some of the meals I came up with were really just glorified snacks, and sometimes it was the same thing over and over again. The walls started feeling like they were closing in on all of us. We needed to find some kind of better solution as we got closer to the time the doctors were going to try to raise Lee’s body temperature and revive him.

Lee and Pam knew a bunch of people in the area near the hospital, and we decided to make the drive as a family up to that region with the intent to start staying the night up there somewhere. We packed a bunch of our stuff and left Lee and Pam’s house not knowing where we’d be spending the next few nights. We made it to the hospital and went to the waiting room where we saw lots of familiar faces. During the day all kinds of friends and well-wishers came and went, some of them even bringing much-appreciated care packages of food and things to help pass the time. My kids enjoyed the extra time with Mommy, even if it was in a waiting room. Even with all the extra family and friends helping out, though, they didn’t have to stay in the same room long before they started getting antsy again. They needed somewhere to feel settled.

During the day we were still trying to find a place to stay. One family offered us an available room in their home, but five of us is a lot to cram into one room (especially when two of the kids still napped), so we wanted to see if we could find anything else. Someone had two rooms available for us, but they had a dog that my son would’ve been allergic to. Late in the day we got word that there was a family willing to let us stay at their place. They had two rooms for us, no pets, and the house was less than five minutes from the hospital. The offers weren’t going to get much better than that and it was getting late, so we grabbed it. By the time we arrived at the house it was after dark. The house was cheery and still decorated for Christmas, and when the door opened we met some of the sweetest people we could have hoped for. Jay and Esther and their daughter Tracey welcomed us into their home in one of our young family’s hours of greatest need.

Jay and Esther were great-grandparents, and they had a large family. Their house was so warm and welcoming, and someone was always popping in because…that’s just the kind of place it was. They had one of their grandsons staying in their basement at the time, and he and a visiting friend helped us bring in our luggage, pack ‘n plays, and anything we brought with us. By the time we got there, it was time to get the kids to bed. We got our daughters set up in one of the rooms, and we set up our son on the floor in the room where my wife and I stayed. I think my wife and I spent a little time visiting with the family before we collapsed into bed, too. That was our first restful night of sleep since the whole ordeal with Lee began.

The next day my wife headed off to the hospital early again, but my kids and I were able to stay in a place the kids finally felt comfortable and occupied. If memory serves, Jay and Esther had five kids; as grandparents and great-grandparents, many children had come to visit this house, and there were all kinds of fun things for my kids to play with and explore. They also had all kinds of Christmas decorations that sang or danced after it got squeezed (a favorite for kids). In addition to all kinds of stuffed animals and toys, they had a foosball table and a pool table in the basement…something that kept my kids occupied for a very long time.

Our hosts also figured out that Daddy was good at getting his kids riled up and roughhousing, but maybe needed some help in the food preparation department. Oh, man, they were so great. My kids actually started having balanced meals. Those wonderful people made it possible for us to put one foot in front of the other on our march through the trial we faced.

Last story about staying at their place. During naptime one day, I laid down my youngest in a pack ‘n play in a room by herself. I laid my son down in his sleeping bag on the floor in our room, and I set up my oldest daughter to play/color/draw on the bed in our room. My son fell asleep right away, and I told my daughter I was going to read on the floor. Once I laid down, though, I figured out pretty quickly that I wasn’t going to stay awake long, so I let her know I’d probably take a nap on the floor. My five-year-old daughter got down off our bed with her little blanket, came and lay down beside me, and all three of us took a nap in a row on the floor. We were finally in a place where we could rest.

I’ll get you caught up on Lee in my next post, but this one’s about how much we were able to benefit from the generosity and hospitality of these wonderful people. That was their gift, they loved helping people, and it was amazing and much appreciated to be ministered to in that way.

This whole site is geared toward encouraging you to use your gifts to live a life of higher impact for Christ’s Kingdom. Not everyone is going to be an international gospel singer or someone that proclaims the truth boldly in stadiums across the globe. I don’t know what your gifts are. You might not accomplish anything earth-shattering by being hospitable to someone who needs help, but let me tell you…it can mean the world to the person receiving the help. Whatever your gift is…please…find a way to use it. God gave you that gift for a reason, and if you let Him, He’ll tie you into His master plan.

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A Temporary or a Lasting Peace?

Our youngest child is at the stage where she still has bad dreams fairly often. She wakes up crying during the night, and my wonderful wife usually goes running into her room to try to settle her down before she wakes up anyone else in the house.

A few mornings ago my daughter woke up crying. I was already awake, laying in bed, when I heard the cry begin. I jumped out of bed before my wife started stirring, trying to return the favor. I went into my daughter’s room and told her “Daddy’s here now.” I brushed her hair out of her face, rubbed her shoulder, and kissed her cheek. She calmed down and we prayed, but she wasn’t settled. I stayed with her a little bit longer, and then went back to bed.

Laying there for a bit, it wasn’t long before I heard her little feet came walking into our room. But she didn’t come walking over to my side. She made a beeline right for Mommy. My wife talked and cuddled with her a little bit, then brought her back to bed and got her tucked and settled in, where she stayed for the rest of the night.

How many of us are like that? Whether we like to admit it or not, there’s a God-shaped hole in all of us. We’re restless until it’s filled. We try to fill the hole with different things…anything. For some it can be destructive things; alcohol, drugs, relationships that aren’t built to last, more serious types of crime, or even dark spiritual things. Others try to fill it with things that might be good, but don’t quite quench the thirst. Making more money, performing charity work, being very active in community groups, donating your time/energy/resources to civic or political causes you believe in, etc.

The problem is, those things are like Daddy trying to settle his daughter in for the night after a bad dream. They might serve as temporary solutions, but they don’t bring a peace that lasts.

To fill the God-shaped hole in your life, only Christ will satisfy.

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Why Would God Create People if He Knew They’d Let Him Down?

Photo courtesy of eBaum’s World

Kids are nuts.

If you don’t have kids, having one (or several) changes just about every aspect of your life. When you don’t have kids, you might not even think about it, but life can be amazingly simple. I’m not taking a shot at people without kids; I’m saying that if you don’t have kids and you want to walk out of the house and go somewhere, all you need to do is put on your shoes and leave. Doing the same thing with young kids can turn into a wrestling match, a drawn-out battle of wills, or a frustrating game of hide-and-seek that results in one of you (parents included) wearing mismatched shoes and only one sock as you walk out the door.

Kids can simultaneously be the sweetest and most frustrating people in the world. When my son was 3, he had a bad habit of coming downstairs after we had laid him down. Most of the time it would happen before my wife and I went to bed; we’d hear something that didn’t quite sound right. We’d mute the TV or stop whatever we were doing and say “What is it?” Almost always, our little guy would sheepishly stand up from sitting on the bottom step and come walking toward us, trying to see what was on the TV. It wasn’t always at night though; sometimes it was in the early morning. I usually get up long before everyone else in the house so I can beat a lot of the traffic on my way to work. One morning I heard him coming down the stairs when he was still expected to have a few more hours of sleep to go. Exasperated because I didn’t want my sleep-deprived wife to hear him and wake up, I walked over to the stairs and asked him in a sharp tone “what are you doing?” At that age he had trouble pronouncing his “L” sounds and would have lots of pauses in his sentences. My little guy looked anxiously at me with a furrowed brow and nervously said “Umm, I just…wanted to tew you…to have a good…day…at work.”

Imagine how badly I wanted to melt right into the floor.

You can often tell what kind of environment kids spend their time in by listening to the things they say. We’ve told our kids many times that we love them no matter what. When they’re still a little too young to make total sense of everything, they start to say it back to you in their own little way: “Mom? Dad? Did you know that I love you even when you’re bad?”

Kids bring so many crazy moments to your life. I’ve received bloody noses from little elbows. They break stuff that you really didn’t want broken. They seem to know the difference between when you’re prepared and when you don’t have an extra diaper or outfit for them. They’re sick and have stuff oozing out of every hole in their heads for the first two years of their lives. Their “help” with something you’re doing actually makes it more difficult. I’ve been in a totally dark house after everyone’s bedtime, then went to open my bedroom door only to jump out of my skin when I saw a toddler standing on the other side of the door, holding a stuffed animal and staring up at me with big eyes.

They’re messy, expensive, and suck the energy out of your body. They make your hair gray (or thin). Why in the world would anyone ever CHOOSE to have children?

You can’t explain why, but after you’ve had them, you know you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

It’s the time they spend with you and the love they have for you. It’s the times you get down on the floor and they use you as a jungle gym. It’s the way they shriek “Daddyyyyyyyyy!” and come running to hug you when you come home from work. It’s the way they cling tightly to you when you wade into water that’s deeper than what they’re used to. After you’ve disciplined them and they come and just want you to hold them as they sit crying, broken, and sorry, you want to squeeze them back and wipe their tears away, sometimes blinking back tears of your own in the process.

When I hear people ask “Why would God create humans if He knew they would let Him down?”, these are the things that come to mind. Like children, we are deeply flawed and are prone to do things our Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to do. Again and again, we fail to meet the standards set before us. We are stubborn and take forever to learn the lesson that’s being taught to us, sometimes even intentionally.

At the same time though, we are the source of tremendous joy to Him. When His children want to spend time with Him and seek a deeper relationship with Him, it brings Him colossal happiness. We all mess up again and again, but when we come to Him, broken and sorry, He holds us gladly while blinking back tears of His own. He doesn’t need anything from us, but He’s thrilled when we pursue Him.

This is a difficult time of year for many people, and maybe that includes you. You’ve almost certainly heard this before, but God loves you. Just in case those words have lost their meaning, I’ll say it another way: God really likes you. You’re loved, and you’re loved hard.

There’s a battle going on out there. You may not think of it in those terms, but that’s what it is. Christ came to offer salvation to everyone. The enemy didn’t like that, so he’s doing everything he can to prevent people from hearing about or accepting that gift. God created you to be a part of that fight, but the enemy’s going to try everything he can to demoralize, distract, discourage, and deceive you.

You have it within you to do amazing things for God’s glory that you dare not even think possible. Let me tell you…it can be done. There’s going to come a time where He calls on you to do something you’re not comfortable doing. He can and will empower you to do things you can’t do on your own, and it will surprise you what He can do through you.

For now, just know that like a child who knows Mom or Dad truly has their best interests at heart, it all starts with being confident and secure in your Heavenly Father’s love for you.

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Ask Me

It’s funny how much parenthood can teach you about Christ’s relationship with us. I’ve got three kiddos under 10, and it’s been fun to watch them develop and learn as they grow.

Of course, parenthood has its exhausting moments. I have to credit my wife with doing the heavy lifting. Anytime there’s a bad dream or an injury, they don’t come looking for me unless Mommy’s unavailable (and even then, sometimes they’ll just wait for her rather than come to me). I can have one sitting on each of my knees, be hugging the third, and have all of them crying, but all of them will want Mommy.

But anyway…my wife and I found ourselves repeating the same things many times as our kids were very young. “Eat what you have, then ask for more.” “Obey first, then ask questions.” “Slow obeying is disobeying.” Some day, when our kids get old enough to do impressions of us, these are the maxims that I’m sure they’ll use.

It’s funny, though, to watch kids get a little more slick as they grow. Sometimes they wanted something, but they didn’t want to come out and ask for it. Instead, they might just throw out an unprovoked comment. “I wish we could have a snack pretty soon.” “It would sure be fun to watch a show right now.” “If you asked me if I wanted more milk, I would say yes, because my glass is almost empty.” My wife and I thought this was kind of fun to see, but we also wanted them to learn that it was okay to ask questions. One of the common sayings we had was “So…do you have a question?” They caught on pretty quickly that if they wanted something, they couldn’t just “wish out loud” about it; they needed to ask us (and the word “please” had better be a part of that question). Sometimes the answer would be yes, other times it would be no, but their chances of success would be much higher if they actually asked.

Going back to what I said earlier about parenthood teaching you about Christ’s relationship with us…God wants us to ask Him, too. The most blatant example I can think of comes from Luke 18:39-43. A blind beggar heard that Jesus was passing by, so he started yelling to get Jesus’ attention. When bystanders started shushing him, he only got louder. Then Jesus had the blind man brought to Him. What Jesus asked next is a little bit mind-numbing. “What do you want me to do for you?”

What kind of a question is that?! The guy is BLIND! This wasn’t like being blind today, where you can receive an education or get a job despite being visually impaired. Back then it’s not like there were specialized accommodations like Braille signs and traffic signals that made noise when it’s safe to cross the street. Blind people back then couldn’t get work. They had to beg, and they relied on whatever they received. If nobody gave them anything, they didn’t have anything. Christ knew exactly what the guy wanted, but He wanted the beggar to ask for it. He wanted him to articulate it, to express it, to say it out loud. It was perfectly obvious that the beggar had faith in Christ, but without him articulating his request, his chances of getting what he wanted were much lower.

Without ego, without hesitation, without any kind of pretense, he told Christ exactly what he wanted. “I want to see!” Verse 42 makes it clear that this beggar’s faith worked in his favor. Christ healed him; he immediately received his sight, and everyone that witnessed it gave glory to God.

When we pray, we must ask with thankfulness and with faith. Ever since the temple curtain tore in two, we have direct access to God. We no longer have to go through a priest or some other intermediary. You can talk directlyto your savior.

What are you asking for when you pray? Are you asking for mighty and impossible things? I once heard a preacher say something to the effect of “we can boldly approach the creator of the universe, who waits with His hand cupped behind his ear to hear our requests. What do we ask? ‘Dear God, watch over the parakeet and water the grass.'”

I love the mental imagery that this same preacher goes on to convey. When you pray, ask God for things that are so big…so impossible, that when He hears you, God slides forward in his throne, elbows an angel, points at you, and says “did you hear THAT?!”

He’s waiting for you to ask Him. You’re invited to live a life of daring and greatness on His behalf. So…do you have a question?

A little motivation (I’m more interested in the audio than the video)…

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Proud Papa

I have the honor and privilege of being the dad of three great kids. One of the most exciting times as a parent of young kids is when they’re learning to walk. A lot of times you can see it coming; they get really good at scooting around on the floor, but they start pulling themselves up and standing next to a couch or a chair on a more regular basis. It’s fun to watch as they start to “accidentally” learn. They pull themselves up, then get distracted as they find a toy sitting on the couch. They grab the toy with both hands and start chewing on it, forgetting that they had been relying on the couch for balance. Without realizing it, they’re standing unassisted, happily chewing on something.

Then they realize that they’re not holding onto anything. The reaction can be priceless. Sometimes they freak out and fall down right away, sometimes they grab onto the couch, and other times they simply squat down and sit on the floor.

Usually a few weeks after that they’re learning to walk. It’s so much fun to watch! It starts out with them again holding onto something and taking those first few tentative steps along a couch to reach a toy on the other end, for example. Before long they’re starting to do it without holding onto anything. They’re learning and becoming more capable without even realizing it.

It gets fun when you sit on a chair across the room and you encourage them to walk to you. I’ve learned, though, that if you lean back in your chair, it looks farther away to them, and they’ll look at you and decide it’s too far, so they’ll just drop to the floor and crawl to you rather than try to walk. Instead you sit on the very edge of your seat, with arms outstretched as far as you can reach toward them. When you appear that much closer, they happily leave the safety of that couch and take a few shaky steps toward you. Early in their walking experience you have to be very close, because they don’t have the ability to go all that far. As they get better at it, you can begin slowly withdrawing from them as they step toward you because you know they can handle the challenge, and you also know that they wouldn’t have bothered to try walking to you if they actually knew how far they’d have to end up walking.

It’s such a joyful experience to watch their drooly little faces as they keep stepping your way. Sometimes they realize what’s happening and lose focus, either out of fear or because they get distracted, and they fall to the floor. This happens a lot in those first few tries! They get better at it though, and soon you’re holding your breath as they get closer and closer, walking almost all the way across the room. You want to say to them “you’re doing it!” but you’re afraid to say it out loud because if they realize what’s happening, they might fall again. Sometimes they make it almost all the way to you and either get tired or just plain give up and squat down. I know that when I see them do that, the competitive drive in me makes me want to say “Oh, MAN! You almost had it! If only you’d have focused just a little bit longer!”

This whole experience must have been what Jesus felt when Peter jumped out of the boat and started walking on water to Him. Based off the fatherly perspective I just covered, I would imagine Jesus’s eyes welling up a little bit and having to bite his lower lip as one of His students grabbed the chance to shine. I imagine that as He watched Peter begin doing something nobody should have been able to do on their own, Jesus screamed on the inside of His head “You’re doing it!”

Of course Peter looked around at what was happening. He saw what the wind and the waves were doing, and got scared. He took his eye off Jesus and started sinking. As He cried out for help, Jesus grabbed his hand without hesitation. “You of little faith. Why did you doubt?” That’s what He said, but maybe He was thinking “Oh MAN! You almost had it! If only you’d have focused just a little bit longer!”

Can you imagine what Peter must have felt? The exhilaration of reflecting on what he had done. The disappointment of having almost done more.

In your life, if you are a Christian, you have the same power living within you. In this life you’re most likely not going to get the opportunity to walk on water, but you may be aware of a lesson that Christ has been teaching you lately. You have the capability, but maybe not the drive. Like the parent of a young child learning to walk, Jesus might be watching you and thinking “C’mon, I know you can do it. Try it again.”

Don’t be afraid. It’s time to give it another shot.