Tag: don’t lose your cool

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How Dare You Remind Me of Something I Hate!

To me, little kids are fun. They say stuff with brutal honesty, they come out with some funny things, and they still think my lame party tricks are cool. When we were trying to figure out some kind of way to serve as a family in our church, we settled on volunteering in the child care area, which is chronically understaffed.

A little truth in lending here…I don’t mind getting down on the floor to play with kids, and I don’t mind holding a crying kid for a little while, but I’m not real great at leading a lesson or singing songs with them. I can commit to keeping them (mostly) safe during the worship service, but that’s pretty much it. If they have a hard time focusing on what I’m saying, my go-to is to distract them with bubbles. Well, all those factors collectively led to my assignment in helping out with the really young kids.

One Sunday some parents dropped off a little girl, and she was pretty tentative about the situation. I’m not sure if she had separation anxiety, or if she was just having a bad day, but as time went by, she became less and less able to hold it together. What started out as a general detachment and a barely audible “I want Mommy” turned into a full-blown meltdown. This kid was screaming. I normally try to give kids a lot of leeway to get settled down so their parents can come to church and have a bit of a respite while listening to the sermon, but this was not working out. We eventually paged her parents, but they took a long time to show up. In the meantime, the little girl got so disruptive that I had to take her outside the room because other kids were looking at her and starting to have their own lower lips quiver. I just walked back and forth in the hallway and held her until somebody showed up to get her. Nothing made her stop screaming, man. Finally her dad showed up to take her off our hands.

Now…I told you that story so I could tell you this one. Weeks later, I was working there in that same room again. Kids started coming in, and they got comfortable and started playing with the various toys around the room. Sure enough, the dad showed up with that same little girl. She looked hesitant as she peeked in. She looked around the room, looking for some kind of upside to what Daddy was asking of her. Once her gaze fell on me, that sealed the deal. She lost it and started crying right away, face turning red, tears falling down her cheeks, and starting with the yelling. Just the sight of me was enough to make her remember the screaming session from last time, and that set her off.

For better or for worse, sometimes you’ll remind people of someone or something which will be counterproductive to your goals. It may or may not have anything to do with you personally; you might just remind somebody of a person they have bad memories of. Even if they say or do offensive things to you, recognize that it’s not necessarily you they’re reacting to. Be open to the idea of taking a step back, swapping roles with someone else, or coming at the problem from a different direction. Your ability to let it roll off your back and take a different approach could mean the difference between success and failure.

Can you relate to a time this has happened? Leave a comment and share your experience!

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This is not a Situation Where you Want to Panic

I used to go skydiving out of this tiny little drop zone outside a tiny little town in Texas. This place was out in the sticks. The airport also served as the base for at least one cropduster. There weren’t many drop zones nearby; this one took about 90 minutes for me to drive to. The little single-engine Cessna we used seemed to groan each time it lifted off the ground. The people were nice, and I just really wanted to go jumping, so I couldn’t be terribly choosy. I began showing up consistently and started getting to know some of the regulars.

One weekend something a little different happened. I’m not sure of the reason, but the regular pilot wasn’t available, and we had a younger, much less experienced pilot flying loads that day. I didn’t really think anything of it. Nobody seemed to have a problem with it. We had a very experienced jumper at this drop zone, Chad, who seemed to know a lot about not only skydiving, but also flight operations, so he was good to have around. (Incidentally, he probably saved my life one time.) Thankfully, he was on the same load as I was that day.

A bunch of us got in the plane and began our ride to altitude. Normally when people get on a plane, they’re actually headed to a destination on the ground somewhere. When you’re skydiving, your destination is “up high.” You pretty much just want to gain a bunch of altitude so you can hop out. That ride to altitude can look very different depending on how busy the local airspace is, what the winds are doing at different altitudes, and the aircraft’s capabilities. The pilot might fly a corkscrew pattern, a box pattern, or some kind of racetrack pattern, just for a few examples. These are methods used to gain altitude without venturing too far away from the drop zone.

On this particular occasion, whatever pattern our pilot chose involved a bad call. I’m not sure if maybe he didn’t do his homework, or if this is something that could have happened to anyone, but we ended up getting downwind of the drop zone, fighting against a pretty strong headwind. The climb to altitude took about the same amount of time, but we spent longer in the aircraft because it took longer for us to claw back lost ground distance.

It wasn’t really a big deal to me at the time, but the pilot started getting agitated. It turns out we were pretty low on fuel. The strong headwind meant we needed to burn fuel faster to reclaim ground, and the analog fuel gauges didn’t give very descriptive readings when they were very low, especially as fuel sloshed around in the wing tanks. You can imagine how this all added to the anxiety level of a young, inexperienced pilot.

Chad noticed what was happening, and that the pilot kept switching the fuel feed back and forth between the left and right fuel tanks. With a cool head, he advised the pilot to relax and to stop switching; use up one tank until it’s dry, then switch to the other one. That way you’ll know for sure what you’ve got in that tank. If the second one runs out, it runs out, no amount of switching between the two would prevent it. Getting a little higher should help get us above the air current, so let’s press on before considering more drastic measures.

It started dawning on the rest of us what was happening. We weren’t real nervous; after all, we were all wearing parachutes and planned to get out of the plane before landing anyway. If that happened, our biggest problem would be figuring out where we landed and how to get back to the drop zone from the middle of what seemed like a thousand-square-mile field. The pilot, on the other hand, had an obligation to get the plane safely on the ground. Chad would probably stay with the pilot in the plane, and dropping several hundred pounds of skydivers should help improve the plane’s fuel efficiency, increasing the likelihood of safely getting back on the ground.

This is a little anticlimactic, I know, but thankfully we didn’t have to bail out early. We did end up jumping from a little lower than planned, but otherwise we made it to where we were supposed to go. The plane had enough gas to make it back to the airport safely. I’m not sure exactly how close the pilot (and us) came to disaster that day, but I imagine those wing tanks were much more full the next time the aircraft took off.

Sometimes in the midst of a crisis, all it takes is a steady hand and a calm demeanor to avoid catastrophe. Being present and just listening to someone who’s coming a little unglued, or offering insights that might be helpful can really walk someone back from panicking. While there are occasions where you kind of need to push somebody out of the way and seize control of the situation, as long as safety or time aren’t major issues, why not just offer support (and maybe guidance if they need it) as they work through the problem? Common sense and problem-solving seem like they’re becoming a little too rare these days, and helping someone walk through an issue can help pass along some lessons on good judgment, keeping calm, and solving problems. You might just find yourself in a position to make those rare qualities a little more common.

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Two Guys Who Were Each Literally One in a Million

Ever feel like you’re the only one in your circle who trusts what God’s doing?

Sometimes even other Christians’ faith seems to wilt in the face of apparent obstacles. It can be tough to believe you should pursue something God’s called you to do, especially when your senses are telling you to go the other way.

That’s exactly what Caleb and Joshua came up against as they neared the promised land. After God led them out of Egypt, but before entering into the land God had arranged for them to take possession of, He told Moses to take 12 men, one from each tribe, and send them in pairs to spy out the land to see what it was like.

They did just that. Five of the six pairs came back and lamented about how difficult it would be to conquer the land. The people were too strong, the cities were too fortified, etc. They lamented about how futile it would be to try to take the land by force. The last pair, Caleb and Joshua, were excited. “God promised us this land; whoever or whatever obstacles lay in front of us are inconsequential. We only need to move when He says to move, and He’ll take care of the rest to fulfill His promise to us!”

Despite the enthusiasm of these two, the people of Israel decided things were so bleak, they should reject the leader God had given them (Moses), appoint for themselves a new leader, and head back to Egypt! The people even started talking about stoning Caleb and Joshua! (Numbers 14:10) At that point the Lord stepped in. Exasperated with the Israelites, He spoke with Moses about their faithlessness and declared His intent to ensure no Israelite who was age 20 or older would live long enough to enter the promised land. The only two exceptions would be Caleb and Joshua, who believed God and advocated for His path.

There were roughly two million Israelites at this point. Out of those two million, there were only two who had the faith and focus on God to please Him. When you average it out, these two men of faith were literally one in a million.

Popular sentiment does not guarantee alignment with God’s will. There will likely be times when, even among other Christians, you’re in the minority about believing God’s promises or pursuing what He’s called you to do. When you’re the only one God’s given a particular assignment to, don’t be surprised when nobody else understands it. If you’re consistently in God’s word and you’re regularly in prayer, He’ll lead you in the direction He wants you to go. Follow God’s lead even if nobody else sees it.

Lord, it can be hard to step out in faith, especially when it doesn’t make sense. Thanks for this example of two men who believed in your power and promise, and help me to recognize when You’re moving me toward something You want me to do. In those times, give me clarity of vision and boldness of heart. Amen.

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Sportsmanship Tanks if You’re Losing As the Clock Runs Out

I never really got into playing basketball, but I’ve played a few games here and there in my younger days. I was always pretty tall, so I got invited to jump into some pickup games. It turns out being tall was the only asset I really brought to the game. I couldn’t shoot. I didn’t understand coordinated plays. I was the goofy-looking lanky guy who could run around and set a pick, and I could rebound, but that was pretty much it.

What’s kind of funny is that regardless of whether I was on the winning or losing team, as the game began winding down, people on the losing team seemed like they started committing more fouls. Ever notice that? Maybe it was to try to stop the clock and catch their breath. Now and then it was because the guy they fouled wasn’t good at free throws. Most often though, it seemed like it was out of frustration with the increasingly clear notion they’d soon lose the game.

I don’t know what kind of timeline God’s working with, but it’s been nearly 2,000 years since Christ died on the cross. It’s been a few less decades than that since Christ said “Behold, I am coming soon” in the book of Revelation. We’re a lot nearer to the End Times than we used to be. Prophetically, there’s no event that needs to occur before the Lord raptures His saints. There’s nothing standing in the way. It could literally happen any hour now.

Our enemy, Satan, knows this, too. He doesn’t know how much time he’s got left, but he knows his time’s getting short and that when the clock runs out, he’s in for a world of hurt. He, too, is dealing with the increasingly clear notion he’ll soon lose.

What that means for us, though, is we’re going to get fouled more often. Satan’s always been sneaky, played dirty, and taken advantage of every opportunity, but that’s how you have to be if you’re trying to compete with someone who’s stronger than you. He can’t hope to compare with God, even if he can convince a percentage of people otherwise.

Between now and whenever the Lord pulls His team out of the game, look for those fouls to increase in frequency and to get more flagrant. Your sense of decency will be assaulted. Nothing will remain sacred. Innocents will be dragged into the fight. Hatred for Christians and Jews (but not other religious groups) will rise, and so will hatred for Christian and Jewish principles.

I say this not to scare you, but to help you anticipate the challenges we’ll be facing. Doing the Lord’s work will come with more conflict than in the past. At the same time, however, God will still equip you with what you need for following His calling. We’re not immune from harm, but we’re on the winning team. Step with boldness into the Lord’s assignment for you, and let the enemy forces rage.

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You Might Be Surprised To Hear This, But Men and Women are Different

(If you’ve got an extra minute or two, have a read over the diary entry below. If not, feel free to skip it.)

We’ve all got quirks. They start when we’re young, but they don’t always resolve themselves as we get older (sometimes they become magnified). I think this becomes most evident in long-term relationships.

My wife and I have been married for over 17 years now. We definitely have quirks of our own. Some of them are stereotypical for men and women, others are maybe more specific to us as individuals. By way of example, if I’m looking for something specific in the refrigerator, I can open the door and turn the fridge upside down trying to find it, even looking right at it multiple times, and still not see it. Then my wife comes along and with a “seriously?!” expression, homes in on it in under a second and a half. At the same time, she can have a song in mind, and it sounds just like the real thing inside her head, but when she tries to hum it, no matter what it is, it always comes out sounding like Smooth Criminal.

I’m blessed to have a spouse that’s pretty easy for me to be married to. Even so, we have to deal with differences of opinion, different perspectives, and quirks in general. She’s very patient and polite when I hear a random voice inflection or odd combination of words or music notes that somehow reminds me of a movie scene from my childhood, or some bizarre scenario reminds me of a Calvin & Hobbes comic strip, and then I take an unreasonable amount of time to provide the context and summary of that scene or comic, which ends up being pretty unremarkable.

While not true in all cases, by and large, men tend to have a more compartmentalized mental arrangement as they go about their day. If you could peek inside our brains, you might see our conscious focus addressing only one thing at a time. There’s the wakeup routine. Then comes the commute. Then he’s at work, thinking about work stuff. Afterwards he has to run errands on the way home. All of those things tend to stay within their respective zones without much bleedover unless some sort of unusual circumstance affects things. My mind works this way most of the time, and is very helpful when it’s time to put certain things on hold. When I leave work, it’s time to stop thinking about work. When it’s time to sleep, I stop thinking about stuff and I’m usually out within two minutes of closing my eyes.

Women, on the other hand (again, not in every case, but more often than not), have “spaghetti brains.” There are no different sections of the brain that conscious thought is split into. It is literally everything, everywhere, all at the same time. There are individual lines of thought that touch on wildly vacillating topics. One may lead to the next, but they may just as easily have nothing to do with each other. All of the following thoughts can occur within the same minute: “Where did I put that thingy I don’t need anymore?” “I can’t believe Charlotte thought I took her yellow sweater in 7th grade; I should look her up and see if she’s sorry.” “Puppies!” “Don’t forget to pick up snacks for the kids’ soccer team.” “LAUNDRY.” “I’d eat a bug if they let me sleep in tomorrow.” “My bra hates me.” “Lose weight, lose wei…CANDY!” “Children are a gift of joy wrapped in toil.” “Organize 1,087,017 pictures into a slide show.” “The check engine light came on.” It’s a constant barrage of swirling and churning thoughts that would bring me to my knees. My wife and I can go to bed at the same time, but she’ll be awake much longer than I am because a lot of those thoughts need to fizzle out before sleep comes.

You can imagine that the communication styles of these two vastly different brain structures also require some give and take. I can do some multitasking, but I prefer to focus on one thing at a time. If I have an idea about something else while I’m working on my main task, I write down the other thing or email it to myself, so that I can focus harder on it when I have an opportunity. In conversations, I look for transitions to help prompt me that we’re moving on from one topic to a different one. I find that sometimes I’m ill-equipped to handle my wife’s communication needs. She can unleash a conversational stream of consciousness that I can’t possibly follow along with, covering a myriad of topics in a single breath. I struggle to see the connection between the different topics we’re zooming through. If I had a video of myself trying to keep up, I think I’d see myself listening with one eye squinted shut tight and the other bugging out of my head as I try to hang on just a little bit longer. Yet this conversational style is effortless when she’s among her sisters or close friends, while us brothers-in-law/husbands use about a fifth of the words they do (on a good day) and just kind of nod periodically.

These are some fun examples, but they’re meant to help illustrate the following point. We are different, and while sometimes those differences are great, other times those differences drive us nuts. Humans in general are hard to get along with, much less live with. Even so, God put a whole bunch of us here. A lot of the Bible is about how to get along with other people. Marriages are the basics for family life. I understand that not everyone is blessed to have two parents married to one another, but that’s what God intended. Those marriages require work, and they often require grace.

Our culture today says that you should be you-focused. “Do what makes you happy! You deserve it!” In reality, marriages are “we-focused.” You’re a team, and teams need to work together to move forward. You’re not perfect, and your spouse isn’t perfect. That’s why you both need to extend some grace and flexibility. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it in the long run.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

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“Today You Get To Be the Wind Dummy”

I’ve written before about a skydiving misadventure where a friend and I ended up landing at the bottom of a quarry rather than the wide open terrain of the airport. As it turns out, my very next jump had a memorable landing, too.

As you might expect, skydiving is a very weather-dependent activity. In order to have a successful jump, you need to plan the jump from the ground up, and a lot of the planning is dependent on wind. You almost always want to land into the wind, so the direction the wind is blowing at the surface determines your final approach. The wind commonly blows different directions at different altitudes, though, so that complicates things. Going further up in altitude, you need to be aware of the direction the wind is blowing at the altitude you plan to open the chute, so you allow enough time and space to move into position for your final approach. Likewise, it’s nice to know which way the wind is blowing at the altitudes where you’re experiencing freefall, because even though it has a smaller effect on your spatial orientation, it does play a part. Putting all these details together determines the desired flight path of the jump plane and the location along that path where you want to exit the plane.

The problem is that, especially for the first planeload of the day, we don’t always know which way the wind is blowing, and how hard. That’s where some guessing comes in.

At the drop zone where I learned to skydive, we had tiny planes where you could only fit four or five jumpers. On most flights there was somebody that did a “hop ‘n pop” jump. This is where a jumper exits the aircraft at a relatively low altitude, skips the freefall, and almost immediately opens the chute. (It adds to your jump count, but doesn’t add much to your freefall time.) Once that jumper got out, it made the cabin roomier and the plane lighter, enabling it to climb faster for the rest of the jumpers.

To get your first-level skydiving certification (your “A license”), you had to successfully demonstrate the ability to perform a hop ‘n pop. It just so happened that doing a hop ‘n pop was next on my list of objectives on my way to earning my A license. It also just so happened that I made the plane roster for the very first flight of the day. Since I was going to be getting out early, it meant I was going to be the very first jumper out of a plane that day. The person with that distinction is affectionately known as the “wind dummy.” They’re the ones that get to go out and see what the actual conditions are, deal with whatever the reality happens to be, and correct or confirm the planning assumptions for future planeloads of jumpers.

All the people there that day collectively had tens of thousands of jumps under their belt. I think this was my 24th jump. Naturally I deferred to their planning experience and trusted them to plan the best route using the information and experience they had. They walked me through the flight and exit plan, and I was set. We did our safety checks, got in the plane, and took off.

As we lined up for me to exit the aircraft, I got out right where I was supposed to, jumping out at 4,000 feet. The chute opened and all my gear functioned the way it was supposed to. The problem was that the winds were a lot stronger than all of us expected. The headwind was stronger than my parachute’s forward velocity. Rather than heading toward our bulls-eye near the skydiving hangar, I was pushed backwards toward the fence line. It quickly became apparent there wasn’t any chance of having a short walk back, and for a long time it looked like I wasn’t even going to land inside the fence. I did whatever I could to make things work out. I skipped some of the safety maneuvers (doing turns to make sure the steering worked) because: 1. spending even a little time not flying forward increased my chances of landing in the scrub outside the airport, and 2. I was flying straight ahead and didn’t need to do any turns. I hung on my front risers to try to get the canopy to dive faster to get below the worst of the headwind.

In the end, the winds mellowed as I got closer to the ground, and God must’ve given me a little push. I made it inside the fence, but not by much. I still landed pretty far away, near the end of the runway. Airports look nice when you’re looking at overhead images of them, but you really lose the sense of scale and how long of a walk it is from one spot to another, especially when carrying a bundle of 190 square feet of canopy, string, and canvas over one shoulder while wearing a jumpsuit and harness that aren’t comfortable for walking long distances. It was probably close to half a mile. The other people that stayed in the plane made it all the way up to their planned exit altitude, jumped, landed, and made it back to the hangar and got their gear off before I reached the hangar on foot.

Sometimes you can plan well (or think you’re planning well) and still be surprised by things you didn’t see coming. You can get mad about it if you want to, but most of the time, you’re not getting back to that hangar until you make the trek. You can go ahead and grumble, but make sure you don’t do it until after you pick up your stuff and start walking. Sure, you can blow off some steam, but make sure you put more effort into the solution than the complaining. (And don’t forget to learn from the mistakes. Maybe next time let someone else be the wind dummy!)

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Guard Against the “Prepper” Mindset

Nobody knows when Christ will come back, but if you look around at the state of the world today, it’s hard to imagine we’ll still be “business as usual” 20 years from now. (You never know, there could be massive revival and turning to God between now and then, but at least right now, it’s tough to imagine that happening.)

If you’re a student of Christian eschatology – the study of the End Times – you probably fall into one of two major camps. The first, and probably more natural, train of thought is to shake your head in disgust at what the world is turning into, and take “prepper-style” actions to safeguard yourself and your loved ones. With prophecies of the world’s end sprinkled throughout the Bible, it’s tough not to think about making preparations of some kind. I’d guess that at some time or another, just about every believer has looked at the news and considered withdrawing from society and spending their time almost exclusively with other believers. I get it, but I’d caution against it.

(See a past post on the difference between the Rapture and Christ’s Second Coming here)

The second camp acknowledges that even though difficult times are coming for Christians, Christ will snatch the Church out of this world before His plans upend normal life on earth. Current events testify to a rise in chaos, natural disasters, moral decay, and international conflicts. We don’t need to fear the wrath of the Lord acting corporately on us. This is a bittersweet situation; despite the apparent nearing of being yanked out of a fallen world to escape its most terrible conditions, it also means we have less time to do things that will have an eternal impact. We have to be intentional with the time we have remaining. Being “salt and light” means we’re helping point others to Christ, and it’s tough to do that by staying secluded in literal or figurative shelters that we’ve built for ourselves.

Of course, there’s no way for me to guarantee your safety or well-being if you follow Christ’s calling for your life, so please don’t think I’m promising something I can’t deliver. Living for Christ comes at a cost. Just know that since God has plans for your life, it wouldn’t make much sense for Him to allow you to get derailed when you’re walking the path He’s laid out for you. Without a doubt, you need to expect opposition; if you’re running with the ball, people are going to try to tackle you. If you’re living out your calling, though, opposition isn’t something you need to fear.

Time is short. The fields are ready, but the workers are few. Get out there and use the things God’s entrusted to you, because being called home while you still have something in the tank isn’t going to help anybody.

(Are you a literal prepper that’s resolved to separate yourself from society because of the turmoil and moral decay you see? Maybe an ideal ministry opportunity for you is to host Christians that are hamstrung by the anxiety they face from current events. Provide a place for them to seek respite while they steel themselves biblically for a return to their own ministry.)

Lord, people have been anticipating Your return for thousands of years. All of them have been wrong so far about when that day is. Whatever Your timeline, it’s obvious that the world needs You, and we know that You’ve put us here to help spread the good news of the sacrifice you’ve made to save us. Help us not get wrapped up in predicting dates, but instead to focus with urgency on employing the gifts and opportunities You’ve charged us with. Help us bring You glory. I ask these things in Your name, amen.

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Every dog has its day. We do, too.

I know a married couple that has two dogs. One of the dogs, Maggie, is on the older side at this point and was rescued from the streets earlier in her life. She lives in a safe environment now, but you can still see echoes of that dark phase (she doesn’t do well with loud noises, she’s quick to bare her teeth when she feels even the slightest bit insecure, etc.).

For the other one, “massive” is the best way to describe him. Murphy is a bull mastiff. He’s so big he doesn’t even realize how much room he takes up and how his size affects others. He’s lived in a safe place his whole life, and between his secure upbringing and his sheer mass, there’s not much he’s afraid of. He’s a confident dog.

Murphy’s size dictates what others in his life can do nearby.

The two are an odd pair, but from a security perspective, they do a great job. If Maggie even thinks she hears something outside, she starts barking away, hanging back from whatever’s happening but alerting everyone else to it. Murphy, curious to see what Maggie’s barking about, silently gets up and walks to investigate, moving directly toward the potential danger. I’ve personally seen a distracted delivery driver recoil in surprise as he dropped off a package near the door, only to look up and see a  175+ lb monster looking back at him with a cocked head through the storm door.

Maggie starts barking because she’s afraid. Murphy walks toward the danger because he’s not afraid. Imagine having that kind of confidence.

For most of us, I’d say we’re probably not often afraid of physical dangers. We’re more afraid of things that might happen. Particularly in our spiritual walks, it’s easy to be distracted by things that simply aren’t true. “What if God stops loving me?” “What if I lose my salvation because I can’t stop sinning?”

I don’t really believe it would be in our best interest to impersonate a bull mastiff, but we can take a lesson from the traits he displays. Our confidence and assurance are not to come from ourselves, but from one we can depend on even more than ourselves. Here are some Bible verses to help remind you about the confidence you’re entitled to as a Christian:

Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. -Hebrews 4:16

But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation. -1Thessalonians 5:8

so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?”-Hebrews 13:6

In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and his children will have refuge. –Proverbs 14:26

By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. -1 John 4:17

For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my confidence from my youth. –Psalm 71:5

This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. -1 John 5:14

For the Lord will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being caught. –Proverbs 3:26

Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. –Hebrews 10:35

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. –Philippians 1:6

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Visiting a New Church: You’ll Find What You’re Looking For

It can be tough trying to find a church you like. I fully recognize that, but sometimes people take things to the extreme.

Churches can be a little too this, or not enough of that. The natural inclination is to look for a church home that meets your preferences. That absolutely makes sense. It’s important not to set the bar impossibly high, though. “The Perfect Church” simply does not exist. Even if it did, it would be ruined once you, an imperfect person, started attending there.

“I don’t like the worship.”

“I don’t like the preaching.”

“It’s not welcoming enough.”

“The people there are too friendly.”

These can all be criticisms of a church, but let me point out that when you walk into a church for the first time, you’re likely to find what you’re looking for. That is to say, if you’re looking for a reason not to like a given church, you’ll probably find one. If you’re looking for hypocritical behavior, it’s probably only a matter of time before you encounter it. If you’re looking for someone to do or say something that doesn’t jive with your preferred code of conduct, yes, it’s going to happen.

Instead, I’d like to propose that you walk into a church looking for solid Bible teaching and a congregation of people that’s imperfect but loves Jesus, loves each other, and wants to spread the Gospel. Once you find that, be on the lookout for a way to volunteer your spiritual gifts in humility. (By humility, I mean exactly that…even if you believe you’re blessed with more talent than whoever is already serving in that capacity, you should not expect to impress everyone and be given the leeway to transform an existing ministry into the version you’d like) A healthy church welcomes new attendees and looks to employ those new attendees’ spiritual gifts and willingness to serve.

Rather than looking for reasons not to attend a particular church, look for the things you know God would applaud about the church and the ways you can fill the role of the missing puzzle piece that makes the church a more complete entity. Christianity isn’t a spectator religion; you’ve got to get involved. Maybe you haven’t found the church you like because the one you’re attending is still missing the thing you can offer.

Who knows? Your contribution to the congregation may be the thing that makes a future newcomer say “yes, this feels like my new church home.”

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Be Straight With Me. Was it Worth All That?

If you live a righteous life, you’re going to encounter opposition.

It’s a tricky thing, this balance Christians need to maintain. On the one hand, we need to have other Christians we can depend on, go to with our problems, and lean on for support. On the other hand, we can’t immerse ourselves so much in this support system that we never have contact with the people we’re meant to witness to. Our job, after all, is to go forth and make disciples of all nations. It’s tough to do that if we only spend time with other believers.

I’ve got a story to share that’s going to make me sound like I’m touting how perfect I was at a certain time in my life. That’s not my intent, so please hang in there for the point I’m trying to make. I worked construction for a couple of summers in college and then for about a year and a half after graduating. You meet a lot of interesting (translated: rough) characters in that line of work. The crude speech alone was enough to raise some eyebrows.

I stuck out quite a bit in this field. I didn’t swear, I didn’t drink, and I didn’t chase women. That’s pretty unusual for a young man in that line of work. I didn’t act in a morally superior or “holier than thou” way. It wasn’t necessary. People took notice over time. Different guys would leave or join the crew, but it seemed like everyone except me indulged in at least one of those three behaviors. One of the guys even told me “I’ve met dudes that avoid one of those things. I’ve even met a couple of guys that avoid two of those things. But you’re the only guy I’ve met that doesn’t do any of those things.”

A lot of times a few of the guys would try to prod me to let slip a dirty word or two. Occasionally a few of them would conspire to make me have a rough day, just to try to get me to lose my temper. Now why would they do that? They saw somebody more disciplined than them and they tried to get him to stumble so he’d “descend to their level.” I’m not going to sit here and tell you that people who drink or cuss or make mistakes can’t get into Heaven. I will tell you though, that blamelessness bothers sinners. I’m not perfect, but guys on that crew figured I was, and it was an image they wanted to mar for their own satisfaction. If they could make a “perfect” person stumble, it made them feel better about the way they lived their own lives.

That’s one side of the coin. There’s a very important flip side to it. When you stiffen your spine in response to consistent opposition day after day, week after week, month after month, there’s a certain amount of respect that others develop toward you. I wasn’t preachy about my faith to the other guys. In fact, I don’t know that I ever even threw “I’m a Christian” out there. One guy, who had given me a lot of grief, but who was also a very philosophical type of fellow, one day told me he had a lot of respect for my convictions. He seemed to take at least a little bit of joy in finding hypocrisy in people that called themselves religious. After months of working together and trying to get under my skin, he told me “you are who you say you are.” (I never had to say who I was.)

Not only was it a very high compliment coming from him, it was an acknowledgement to me that it had been worth the heat. Soon after that we spent some time talking about the Bible and some of the things it contained. We eventually went our separate ways, but a few years later my wife and I looked him up and visited him and his family. They had us over for dinner, breaking out some big steaks, sharing their table and their home with us. I can’t say I led the guy to Christ, and I haven’t had any contact with him in probably 15 years, but I hope to be one member of the team that takes part in his years-long journey to the Lord.

God will ask you to do things that are hard. He asks you to do it because He knows you’re uniquely suited to get it done. If He asks you to be above reproach in a difficult environment, it might just be because He knows blamelessness bothers sinners, and He’s using you to get somebody’s attention. Hang in there. God uses teams of believers to accomplish His will in any given person’s life, but you may be the one He’s chosen to get the ball rolling.