Tag: down but not out

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Pray With Fury

Have you ever been so mentally or physically worn out that you can’t even take care of yourself?

Emotionally wrung out, physically depleted, and/or mentally exhausted people have a difficult time performing all but the most basic of functions. If they’re providing care for someone else while in this state, they’re certainly not taking proper care of themselves.

In these situations it can be extraordinarily difficult to have any prayer life to speak of, save for a singular focus. I’ve heard the term “intercessory prayer” for a long time, but only recently heard it described as praying on someone else’s behalf because they are either unable or unwilling to do it themselves.

To look at it another way, you might be the only person with the ability to address a certain issue through prayer.

There’s a special family in Northern Virginia whose little girl, Molly, developed a condition in the womb that resulted in her being born with some of her internal organs on the outside of her body. Now 7 years old, last week Molly went into surgery after months of preparatory procedures aimed at moving those organs inside her body. Initially things looked good, but as time went on, Molly’s heart and lungs had a very difficult time adapting to the increased pressure of having not only the organs moved inside her abdominal cavity, but the added pressure of swelling due to surgery. It’s been a very fluid situation since the process first began over a week ago, and at times it seemed doubtful that this sweet little girl would make it through the night. Molly, her parents, and her medical team at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia have been forced to contend with countless complications that cast a heavy fog over the path that would bring her back from the brink.

Imagine sending your little girl back for surgery, and you and your spouse await word from the surgeons to find out how it went. During the surgery, a nurse comes hurrying out of the operating room, only to return a short time later with a cooler containing blood for transfusing, and your daughter’s name is printed on it. Then later they bring in still more blood for her. In the first 18 hours after her initial surgery started, Molly required 40 units of blood. In the days that followed, her medical team had to advocate on her behalf in order to convince the hospital to allow Molly access to its critical reserve of blood products.

Molly in her room (Photo courtesy of “Molly’s Belly Blog”)

In all of this, Molly’s parents are staying with a host family during the COVID-19 pandemic of 2020. Their little girl has undergone half a dozen surgeries since the first one, some of which focused on unexpected areas of her body that were fine before she went under. Molly simply wouldn’t stop bleeding, her blood pressure wouldn’t come up enough, and the clotting and blood pressure medication the team administered robbed her extremities of oxygen.

Her parents, while obviously prayerful for their daughter’s life, are exhausted, separated from their other daughter, and dealing with a situation that changes often. In the week following the initial surgery there’s been much more bad news than good, and if you’re prone to worry, there’s been much to worry about. Molly and her parents are simply unable to pray for everything that needs to be brought to God and still function on a day-to-day basis.

That’s where we come in. As it became evident that the surgery had not worked as planned and that Molly’s life was in a precarious state, people began praying by the hundreds. These people, from around the globe, have covered this family in prayer 24 hours a day.

About a week into the ordeal, Molly turned a corner and began to improve. It’s still not clear what the outcome will be, but at this point there are literally thousands of people praying on behalf of Molly and her family, lifting them up in constant prayer. This little girl, whose life at times seemed to be hanging by a thread, has to date received a whopping 150 units of blood.

Acutely aware of just how precious a resource available blood is, the family found a way to tap in to the desire of everyone that wanted to help the family. After forming “Team Ingram” on a Red Cross app, the family requested that volunteers donate blood in Molly’s name. In just 24 hours, Team Ingram jumped into the top 1% of blood-donation groups, replenishing many times over the amount of blood used in Molly’s treatment so far, and potentially saving many other lives in the process.

Although I’m sure there were numerous “passing prayers” or quick prayers uttered in half a breath for Molly, there have collectively been many hours of deliberate prayer on behalf of her and her family. Some of this was intentional, focused prayer pleading with the Lord for Molly’s life. She’s still here, but still needs persistent prayer. God still listens to the prayers of His people. I don’t know how all this will end, but the targeted prayers focused on specific topics seem to have moved Molly in the right direction. All glory and honor belong to the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Graphic courtesy of “Molly’s Belly Blog”

If you’d like to follow along with Molly’s saga and add your prayer (or blood donation) support to her and her family, please request to join the “Molly’s Belly Blog” or watch this YouTube video of her story…and please keep her full recovery in your prayers, because God listens to His people’s requests.

Please pass this post along to anyone you think will make an appeal to God on behalf of Molly and her family.

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When a Fail is a Win

Strange times we’re in. While there are many people that no longer have the job they held a month or two ago, many others now work from home. For those folks, the reality is that sometimes they just can’t produce the same quality from home that they’re able to at their normal place of business. I don’t advocate for shoddy workmanship, but it’s important to understand that if you’ve turned in low-quality work of some kind, all is not lost.

We’ve heard many times that God can take terrible things and use them for good. It’s like saying God loves us. We’ve heard it so many times we lose our appreciation for what it means. What if I told you there’s a story in the Bible where God used someone’s poor-quality work to both glorify Himself and accomplish His will at the same time? That might make you feel better when you’re unable to produce the same quality of work you’re accustomed to turning in.

There’s a story in 1 Kings 20 that has a funny little twist. The Bible often glosses over big events in a very short amount of time, and if you blink, you’ll miss it. In this case, the Israelites were at war with a numerically superior foe, the Arameans. Verse 27 says that the Israelites were like two little flocks of goats, but the Arameans covered the countryside.

The Lord was kinda mad at the Arameans in this engagement, so he enabled the Israelites to cut down 100,000 of their enemy in one day, and verse 30 says that the rest fled into a nearby city. Here’s where you’ll miss it if you blink: “But the rest fled to Aphek into the city, and the wall fell on 27,000 men who were left.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a wall large enough to fall on 27,000 men. In order to have a wall that big fall on so many people at once, we’re talking about failure at a spectacular level. The book doesn’t say anything about how that wall was constructed or what made it collapse; we just know that it happened, it was bad news for the Arameans, and it was all part of God’s plan.

Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not condoning work that’s intentionally sloppy or poor. If you can’t meet the level of what you’re ordinarily capable of though, do the best you can. There may be a divine purpose for that imperfection later on down the line.

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Life Lessons From…Skydiving?

Exiting an aircraft with Tony and his very recognizable jumpsuit

I’m certainly no skydiving guru. While I was a skydiving student, though, I had a few memorable jumps. I’m not sure what the requirement is now, but when I was working on getting my A License (the most basic jumping certification), the rule was that you had to accumulate at least 25 jumps and meet certain milestones along the way.

I was in the plane on the way up for my 23rd jump. The weather was turning sour, so this was the drop zone’s last load of jumpers for at least a few hours. We saw the cloud bank rolling in, and we were trying to rush up to altitude so we could jump out and land before the clouds obscured our view of the ground.

Another student named Jeremy and I were going to jump with our coach Tony. Tony was pretty familiar with us and we had all jumped together before. He wore a neon orange jumpsuit that was so bright it looked like it ran on batteries.

On a jump with Tony as my coach

I don’t remember what the freefall objectives of the jump were, but once we arrived at altitude we hopped out together and began going through our freefall plan. We fell through our predetermined “time to separate” altitude, so we broke apart to get some distance between us before we opened our parachutes. All three of us opened the chutes without a problem, but much to our surprise, the cloud cover had blown in much faster than we anticipated. We couldn’t see the ground anywhere. The only thing we had were our altimeters; we knew how high we were off the ground, but we didn’t know where we were in relation to the airport, so we couldn’t line up in our landing pattern. Since the wind was pushing us the whole time, the longer we floated aimlessly, the further off course we drifted, leaving us less margin of error for a safe landing at the airport.

Since Jeremy and I were still students, each of us had a one-way radio in our jumpsuit shoulder pockets. There was a guy on the ground with a walkie talkie that was waiting to spot us, and he would radio instructions about which way to turn and when to do it. Until we popped through the clouds though, it was useless for all of us.

Tony took the lead; he was the lowest jumper “under canopy,” so I followed him, and Jeremy followed me. I was glad Tony’s jumpsuit was so bright. It was eerie and unsettling to drift without direction in a thick fog. The last time we saw the airport, we were right over it, but the wind can be a lot stronger than you realize when you don’t have any visible references.

Suddenly we popped through the bottom of the clouds at a low altitude. The airport was impossibly far away! We had bled off so much altitude in the fog that there was no way we could make it back. Tony’s canopy had a much higher performance capability, so he made a break for the airport and was able to make it back. With our “vanilla” student rigs and oversized canopies, though, Jeremy and I had no chance of reaching the airport.

The dropzone where I learned to jump was home to the Guinness World Record holder of sport parachute jumps. Don Kellner, who just recently completed his 45,000th jump, was on the radio giving instructions to Jeremy and I. Don’s a funny guy; he doesn’t pull any punches, so he says it like it is and doesn’t sugar coat it.

“Well…find a place to land” came through the radio. Thanks Don.

We had blown way off course. We were now downwind not just of the runway, but of the entire airport complex, and we had a choice: land somewhere in a neighborhood, land somewhere in a wooded area, or land in a big rock quarry. Don advised us to shoot for the quarry.

When you’re a novice jumper, you usually have a flat patch of grass that’s as big as a football field to land on, and there’s usually plenty of other open space nearby (runways and the grassy areas next to them are usually pretty long). All of a sudden, a hilly rock quarry that didn’t have any wind indicators seemed like a pretty hostile place to land. It was the best of our bad options though, so we went for it.

With Tony out of the picture, I was now the lead in the flight pattern. I made a series of turns to get us lined up for what looked like the longest stretch of the flattest ground at the bottom of the quarry. We floated below the horizon and became committed to our flight path.

We both stumbled and took a few bumps and bruises as we tried running out our landings on the side of a hill. We made it safely to the ground without any blood or major injuries. After the canopies fell to the ground, we excitedly checked in with each other and exaggerated to each other just how truly awesome we were with lots of laughs, wild gestures to help relive the experience, and congratulatory slaps on the back. As we took a deep breath and looked around the bottom of this hole, we realized that we didn’t even know which way we should start climbing up out of the quarry. With all the midair turns we did, we lost all sense of direction and couldn’t even point to the airport or the nearest road.

Something tells me that we weren’t the first wayward skydivers to land in this quarry. Before we could even decide what to do, two of our other instructors, in their goofy neon jumpsuits, appeared on the rim of the quarry, shouting and waving to us. We were rescued!

Some general perspective on living: Life isn’t always going to go the way you planned. There are going to be times you find yourself traveling through a disorienting fog. Sometimes you’ll feel abandoned by the people you depended on (or you simply can’t keep up with them). In those times, when you’re at the bottom of a hole, someone might just show up to help you. They may not be what you expected, but it’s still an opportunity to find out which way to climb out of the hole.

We’re passing through strange times; it might not be a bad idea to accept a hand up when it’s offered. Keep your chin up; brighter days are coming.

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Brainstorm!

I don’t know if you or I are going to make it through this COVID-19 thing. I bet that we will, though.

How do Christians band together in a time of social distancing and self-quarantines? It’s an interesting question, and it’s going to take some innovative thinking. This is where the world needs your help.

Ordinarily the term “disruptive” has a negative connotation. “He’s disruptive in class,” etc. That’s not the only meaning of the word, thankfully. “Disruption” can also mean an upsetting of established norms in such a way that it forces a new norm. It’s what happened when motorized vehicles replaced horses. Digital cameras replaced film cameras. Cell phones took over for landlines. Amazon.com came on the scene and drove a lot of brick and mortar stores out of business. The people behind these seismic shifts are known as “disruptors.”

Coronavirus has certainly upended large portions of our lives and caused us to have to readjust in major ways. Schools and colleges are all of a sudden shutting their doors for the rest of the year. Churches are canceling in-person services. Bible studies and prayer meetings can no longer meet in the traditional sense.

People don’t usually like change. Well, this time around, a virus is forcing change on us all. Things are changing so fast that we don’t yet have established “norms” in the wake of this pandemic. For a lot of folks a major burden of our new reality is the loneliness and lack of in-person human contact.

We were created to be social beings. It’s simply how God made us. Some people need social interaction a lot more than others, but we all need it to some degree. When we’re suddenly unable to socialize in the ways to which we’re accustomed, it’s a major shock for a lot of folks. As Christians, we’re often reminded in scripture to meet together regularly, to “do life” together, and build one another up.

How do we do that when we can’t meet in person? I’ve watched church on my computer for the past two Sundays. I heard recently about a church that held a service at a drive-in movie theater. I think that’s a fantastic idea, but those facilities are not as common as they once were.

This is where you come in. I’m challenging you to think like a disruptor. Because this is an actual problem the world currently faces, I’d really like to encourage you to provide comments here. Here’s your challenge:

How can people still meet together to build one another up without physically being closer than six feet?

Technology is a mixed bag. Now we can have meetings without even being near the other attendees. You have Zoom, Facetime, and Skype, and those are incredibly valuable tools in some respects. Connecting two users isn’t difficult, but it gets a little more complicated if you want to have a dozen people in the same meeting. Also, when you’re stuck in your home, it’s a poor substitute if you’re facing anxiety or depression (to be sure, it’s better than nothing!). What other ways can we leverage technology to decrease isolation? Please post your thoughts!

The phone also works. I’m talking about actual voice calls. Everyone has phones, but nobody calls anymore. For some people, chatting on the phone versus sending an email or text goes a long way.

Then you have in-person meetings. These days I yell to my neighbors from across the street. It doesn’t quite have to be that far, but if you want to honor the authorities’ guidelines of having meetings no larger than 10 people, no closer than six feet together, is there a way to make that happen feasibly? This might be a ridiculous mental image, but it’s a thought-prompt; is there a way to have a dozen people sit close together by building little plexiglass “cells” (imagine a scene from a TV show or movie where someone is visiting someone else in prison)? What if a dozen cars came together in a circle in an otherwise empty church parking lot and everyone on the driver’s side of the car rolled down their windows to have a discussion? (That circle is probably a little too big and everyone would need hearing aids and megaphones, but can we make the idea work somehow?)

I don’t know what the answer is, I’m just trying to get the creative juices going. Right now Christians (and non-Christians, for that matter) need ways of meeting together and helping each other up after they fall or get knocked down. A lot has happened, and a lot of change has been forced on us. How can we implement change on our own to make this situation a little more bearable, especially for the people that need to be around other people?

“How does my idea help?” Well, you’re reading this, aren’t you? I don’t normally have a huge readership, but you’re not the only one that reads this. Your idea, even if it’s incomplete, can spark an idea for someone else. Let’s say you have no ideas. That’s okay, you can still help crack the code on this problem. Will you pass this entry on, either by forwarding it to someone or sharing it on your social media?

You are a string, but we are a rope. We WILL get through this…maybe in part by using your ideas.

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You’ve Made Your Bed, Now Sleep in it

Your decisions have consequences, but don’t let those consequences put limits on you.        

In college I majored in Biology, but I went the first three semesters without identifying what I wanted to focus my studies on.

You can get through your college experience that way, but I wouldn’t advise it. The best part about this route was the blissful ignorance of those first three semesters. I attended a Christian liberal arts college, where as a part of the degree requirements, each student had to complete courses from a wide array of educational topics to round out his or her knowledge base. In those early semesters in college I took courses in anything from Biblical Literature to Psychology to Math to Spanish to Ethics to Macroeconomics to Tennis.

I’m not sure why it took me so long to realize it, but after awhile I figured out that I was running out of these “Gen Eds” to take. I needed to figure out how to fill the remaining five semesters. In an epiphany, I began to understand that I needed to figure out what I wanted to declare for my major. I ended up selecting Biology with an Environmental Emphasis.

As you can imagine, if you want to major in a science, it means you’ll need to take lots of science courses. That’s not a bad thing as long as you start on them right away, but if you wait to get started on them, like I did, it means you’re living, eating, and breathing science classes later on.

After my realization I worked with my faculty adviser to figure out how to make it work. I was a Bio major, but didn’t get signed up for the most basic of biology classes until halfway through my second year. Then I signed up for a four-week summer Bio course with class all morning and lab work all afternoon, Monday through Friday. (My brain nearly melted during that class. I was an average student that just finished my Sophomore year, and most of the other students in the course were Freshmen honors students that had spent a semester abroad and now just needed to catch up.)

Junior year was also packed with science classes, but I still managed to “kick the can down the road” with one of the key requirements for a Biology major: two semesters’ worth of Chemistry. By the time I began Senior year and started getting into Chemistry, I realized that I was in over my head. I couldn’t stand Chemistry. The professors were great, but I had a terrible time grasping a lot of the material. I had waited until my last two semesters to take two semesters of Chemistry. There would be no withdrawing from the class to arrange a more convenient courseload.

It was already a busy year…I had a Senior Seminar to deliver, I was the Vice President of the Paddle Sports club, I had a few work/study jobs, a buddy and I were getting ready to drive out to the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, I had a weekly workout routine at the gym, and there was general fun to be had (after all, it was Senior year!).

Even with all I had going on, my whole senior year began to revolve around how I could pass Chemistry. I skipped out on some pranks or outings that would have been fun to be a part of. There was a study group that I started attending each time it met. I linked up with one of the Chemistry Majors, who never seemed to sleep, for help on my homework when I was frustrated and at the end of my rope. With plenty of patience he walked me through each problem. Joel, if you’re out there, thanks for all your help! You saved my bacon!

After all of the craziness and mental anguish, I finally passed both semesters of Chemistry. Never was I so happy to complete two classes.

I whine about it, but this was a crisis of my own making. Because of the choices I made, I backed myself into a corner and made my path to success much more difficult. Here’s the tie-in: even when you become a Christian, your problems don’t go away. God loves you and forgives you if you’re truly sorry, but you must still live with the consequences of your past actions.

Becoming a Christian does not remove all the pain and agony you face. In some ways it makes things more difficult. The good news is that a relationship with Christ gives you hope and strength to face each day, even when each day has repercussions of your previous actions.

As one of God’s chosen, He provides what you need to overcome each obstacle. You may have made your circumstances more complex, but He’s the one that is able to supply for all of your needs. Christianity is not an escape from your problems; it is an opportunity to have hope when facing them. Consider that as you work toward becoming the person He wants you to be.

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You Don’t Wear the Black Armband Forever

A view of Earth rising above the lunar surface during Apollo 8

When I was a kid I wanted to be an astronaut. I loved learning about the space race of the 1960s and 70s, and at one point I knew the name and assigned crew position of every Apollo astronaut that flew on a mission during the Apollo Program.

In 1961 the Americans had barely touched space. America’s first man in space, Alan Shepard, didn’t even complete an orbit; the weak rocket he used only got him high enough to kiss the edge of space. The Soviets had already sent their first Cosmonaut into orbit, and this launch was a weak American response, barely doing enough to keep us in the race. Less than three weeks later, American President Kennedy threw down the audacious goal of beating the Soviets in a manned mission to the moon before the end of the decade, as a way of establishing American preeminence in space.

Thus began a harrowing eight or nine years for NASA. It had to not only figure out the best strategy for meeting the goal, but it also had to develop skills and equipment that didn’t exist.

The process moved fast and grew increasingly complex with time. First NASA sent up one astronaut at a time, and the longest that any mission stayed up was just over a day. Then it started launching two astronauts at a time. They started to do spacewalks, to rendezvous with other orbiting objects, and to see if a capsule and crew could physically last for the two weeks in space that it would take to make it to the moon and back. Finally, it was time for the Apollo missions, which carried three men and the ability to use a lunar lander that would be used to land on the moon.

By all measures, Apollo was a beast of a program. The spacecraft systems’ subsystems had subsystems. Engineers working on the spacecraft worked in round-the-clock shifts, and projects still fell behind schedule. Everyone worked at a breakneck speed to get things ready to meet the deadline. In January 1967, the first Apollo mission finally drew near. Three astronauts sat atop their huge rocket and conducted a final test to demonstrate that all systems were ready to operate on their own.

Then an unmitigated disaster struck, freezing everything in its tracks. As the rocket still sat on the launch pad, a ferocious fire erupted inside the cabin, and killed the three astronauts before they could escape from the capsule. The fire killed America’s second man in space, its first spacewalker, and a rookie astronaut. The devastating setback stunned the nation. All work stopped while NASA, the spacecraft contractors, and even Congress sought answers to what went wrong and whether the moon was worth the cost.

Fellow astronauts escort Grissom’s body to Arlington Cemetery

It wouldn’t be until October 1968, more than a year and a half, before another manned American launch occurred…an eternity when considering JFK’s looming end-of-the-decade deadline. With time running out, everyone needed to figure out how to grieve but still move forward. In the miniseries “From the Earth to the Moon,” Wally Schirra, the commander of the first space mission after the fire, was asked about preparing for his upcoming launch while living in the shadow of the Apollo 1 tragedy. He responded “You’re sad. You mourn the loss.” He paused for a moment before adding “But you don’t wear the black armband forever.”

Without question, there are tragedies in peoples’ lives that knock them down hard. The death of a loved one; a betrayal by someone you trust; a feared diagnosis; a job loss; a terrible injury; an addiction you’re fighting through. There are serious and legitimate times in our lives when we just can’t be an effective contributor to God’s kingdom. Nobody faults you for things that are beyond your control. It takes time to fight through many of these problems, and many times God will make something good out of them. Just make sure that you don’t start using your sorrows and difficulties as an excuse not to move forward with what God’s calling you to do.

You’re the only one that knows whether or not this is an issue you’re dealing with. You WILL be knocked down; Jesus promised that we’d have trouble in this world. Sometimes you need to stay down for a minute, but don’t forget that you do need to get back up again.

Don’t wear the black armband forever. There are people you might not even know about that are waiting for you to get back up again.

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Hanging on by a Thread (Part 3 of 3)

(See Part 1 and Part 2)

Lee with two of his grandkids after returning home from the hospital

When my father-in-law Lee suddenly had a medical emergency right after Christmas a few years ago, it caught us all off guard. For almost a week we didn’t know anything, and all we could do was wait for new developments.

In order to shield the family at the hospital from having to do all the communicating through texting and phone calls, I started emailing out updates to close friends and family. The list of recipients grew quickly though, and soon we had our own Facebook page to help keep people updated and to pass along specific prayer requests both for Lee and for the needs of his family. Lee meant a lot to a whole lot of people, and eventually hundreds of readers received the daily updates I sent out.

There must have been some people hitting their knees hard in prayer on Lee and his family’s behalf, because Lee eventually opened his eyes. After spending a few days in a medically induced coma with a body temperature somewhere in the 80s, his body had some adjusting to do when he regained consciousness. He was extremely disoriented and weak, but, at least for now, he was still with us.

We were all thrilled to see Lee moving in the right direction, but the world didn’t stop turning because he was in the hospital. My young family was far from home; we were able to stay in the area for a few more days, but I had to get back to my job. We had already stayed about a week longer than we had planned, and we couldn’t stay much longer. Lee was still in the hospital when we left to head back home. The day we left the hospital, he was weak from a related surgery he just came through, but was still happy to see us and understood why we had to leave. We had no idea at the time, but that was the last time we would see him in person. We made it back home the next day and we closely stayed in touch to hear the latest news.

Time went on and Lee got discharged from the hospital. Since his scare, the only times that I had spoken with him were in the hospital when he was exhausted or groggy. After he had made it home and had time to recover some of his strength, he called and wanted to speak with me on the phone. After getting a little bit of an update on his progress, he began to thank me. I assumed he was referring to the rescue breathing I did for him when he initially lost consciousness. Just as I was about to brush it off, though, he surprised me.

Of course he appreciated my helping him live long enough to make it to the hospital, but that wasn’t the main reason he wanted to thank me. He was more thankful that throughout all the updates I sent out to the masses, I kept the focus on our family being open to accepting God’s will, rather than forcing God’s will to comply with ours. Lee didn’t have a problem with intercessory prayer, but he appreciated the balance I put on the messaging. It turns out that on multiple occasions during his recovery in the hospital he had read every email I sent out. He was surprised at all he had missed while unconscious; he enjoyed reading the emails to catch up on all of it, and he felt that the updates had taken the right approach.

That was the last time I ever spoke with Lee. A few months after coming home from the hospital, he again caught us off guard and unexpectedly passed from this world into the next. I’m not sure if it was God’s plan all along to have Lee recover enough to come home after his initial scare, or if all of the prayers sufficiently moved God to give us a few more months with Lee, but in the end, God had His way even when it conflicted with ours.

At Lee’s memorial service, as a testament to his character, the church was packed with hundreds of people. Extra chairs had to be brought in to seat everyone. Lee lived his life knowing what was truly important while ignoring what wasn’t, and people recognized that.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up and even be consumed by the things of this life, but it’s important to live in light of eternity. Too often we lose sight of the fact that very few of our daily struggles or any other distractions that preoccupy us will even be a memory once we’ve moved on from this life. The only things that will have eternal significance are the actions you’ve taken to know God and help others know Him too.

How’s your focus? Are you paying attention to the things that are important? As you go through life, are you leaving a positive lasting impact on the people with whom you interact?

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Hanging on by a Thread (Part 2 of 3)

(See Part 1 here and Part 3 here)

The next few days after my father-in-law, Lee, got whisked away to the hospital were a blur. Whatever had gone wrong with his heart was a complicated thing. Doctors put him in a medically induced coma and dropped his body temperature for a few days as a way of “rebooting” him. Since this was right after Christmas, family that had just left turned around and came back. One of Lee and Pam’s daughters flew in from Alaska. People were constantly calling, trying to find out the latest information, even when there was nothing new to report. The adrenaline we all ran on started wearing off, and the exhaustion began setting in.

Lee’s hospital was about an hour away from his house, where my wife and three young kiddos were staying. My wife would go up there every day, but an extra two hours of travel time a day added to the burden. My kids started getting antsy; at the time they were 5, 4, and 14 months, and Mommy had never been away from them this much before. In her place, they got a guy that meant well, but just couldn’t compare to Mommy. Some of the meals I came up with were really just glorified snacks, and sometimes it was the same thing over and over again. The walls started feeling like they were closing in on all of us. We needed to find some kind of better solution as we got closer to the time the doctors were going to try to raise Lee’s body temperature and revive him.

Lee and Pam knew a bunch of people in the area near the hospital, and we decided to make the drive as a family up to that region with the intent to start staying the night up there somewhere. We packed a bunch of our stuff and left Lee and Pam’s house not knowing where we’d be spending the next few nights. We made it to the hospital and went to the waiting room where we saw lots of familiar faces. During the day all kinds of friends and well-wishers came and went, some of them even bringing much-appreciated care packages of food and things to help pass the time. My kids enjoyed the extra time with Mommy, even if it was in a waiting room. Even with all the extra family and friends helping out, though, they didn’t have to stay in the same room long before they started getting antsy again. They needed somewhere to feel settled.

During the day we were still trying to find a place to stay. One family offered us an available room in their home, but five of us is a lot to cram into one room (especially when two of the kids still napped), so we wanted to see if we could find anything else. Someone had two rooms available for us, but they had a dog that my son would’ve been allergic to. Late in the day we got word that there was a family willing to let us stay at their place. They had two rooms for us, no pets, and the house was less than five minutes from the hospital. The offers weren’t going to get much better than that and it was getting late, so we grabbed it. By the time we arrived at the house it was after dark. The house was cheery and still decorated for Christmas, and when the door opened we met some of the sweetest people we could have hoped for. Jay and Esther and their daughter Tracey welcomed us into their home in one of our young family’s hours of greatest need.

Jay and Esther were great-grandparents, and they had a large family. Their house was so warm and welcoming, and someone was always popping in because…that’s just the kind of place it was. They had one of their grandsons staying in their basement at the time, and he and a visiting friend helped us bring in our luggage, pack ‘n plays, and anything we brought with us. By the time we got there, it was time to get the kids to bed. We got our daughters set up in one of the rooms, and we set up our son on the floor in the room where my wife and I stayed. I think my wife and I spent a little time visiting with the family before we collapsed into bed, too. That was our first restful night of sleep since the whole ordeal with Lee began.

The next day my wife headed off to the hospital early again, but my kids and I were able to stay in a place the kids finally felt comfortable and occupied. If memory serves, Jay and Esther had five kids; as grandparents and great-grandparents, many children had come to visit this house, and there were all kinds of fun things for my kids to play with and explore. They also had all kinds of Christmas decorations that sang or danced after it got squeezed (a favorite for kids). In addition to all kinds of stuffed animals and toys, they had a foosball table and a pool table in the basement…something that kept my kids occupied for a very long time.

Our hosts also figured out that Daddy was good at getting his kids riled up and roughhousing, but maybe needed some help in the food preparation department. Oh, man, they were so great. My kids actually started having balanced meals. Those wonderful people made it possible for us to put one foot in front of the other on our march through the trial we faced.

Last story about staying at their place. During naptime one day, I laid down my youngest in a pack ‘n play in a room by herself. I laid my son down in his sleeping bag on the floor in our room, and I set up my oldest daughter to play/color/draw on the bed in our room. My son fell asleep right away, and I told my daughter I was going to read on the floor. Once I laid down, though, I figured out pretty quickly that I wasn’t going to stay awake long, so I let her know I’d probably take a nap on the floor. My five-year-old daughter got down off our bed with her little blanket, came and lay down beside me, and all three of us took a nap in a row on the floor. We were finally in a place where we could rest.

I’ll get you caught up on Lee in my next post, but this one’s about how much we were able to benefit from the generosity and hospitality of these wonderful people. That was their gift, they loved helping people, and it was amazing and much appreciated to be ministered to in that way.

This whole site is geared toward encouraging you to use your gifts to live a life of higher impact for Christ’s Kingdom. Not everyone is going to be an international gospel singer or someone that proclaims the truth boldly in stadiums across the globe. I don’t know what your gifts are. You might not accomplish anything earth-shattering by being hospitable to someone who needs help, but let me tell you…it can mean the world to the person receiving the help. Whatever your gift is…please…find a way to use it. God gave you that gift for a reason, and if you let Him, He’ll tie you into His master plan.

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Hanging on by a Thread (Part 1 of 3)

Read Part 2 or Part 3

For Christmas 2014 we visited my wife’s folks in northwestern Ohio. Instead of going straight there from Virginia, we drove to see some family near Dayton first. The kids had lots of fun playing with cousins, staying up later than usual, and generally wearing themselves (and us) out. At the end of that visit, we drove about two and a half hours to my in-laws’ place.


I think it was the afternoon of the 26th or 27th; I was worn out. There were two Christmas celebrations with two different sides of the family, but my young family had to skip one of them because the kids were worn out, sick, or getting sick. My oldest actually developed an ear infection, so we spent some time in an Urgent Care because of the pain she was in. I was beat, so I was laying on the living room floor, starting to fall asleep.

There were people moving around. My father-in-law, Lee, took a moment to sit down on the couch, put his feet up, and close his eyes. My wife and her mom Pam were moving around the area, working on a few other things as I drifted off.

Then I heard my wife’s worried tone. I don’t remember much of what she was saying, but she was urgently trying to soothe Lee. Pam came rushing over, too, and then there were two worried tones. I opened my eyes to see what was happening, and Lee, still reclining on the couch, looked like he was having a seizure.

I got up and ran over. He was unresponsive, his eyes were fluttering, and his body was spasming. I tried picking him up to lower him to the ground…no easy task when someone’s body goes completely rigid. I laid him flat on the ground, and my CPR training from nearly 20 years prior came rushing back. I checked for breathing, but there didn’t seem like there was any. I retilted his head to try opening his airway, but still nothing. I forgot to do a finger sweep to see if there was anything in his mouth, which ended up causing some complications later. I began doing rescue breathing on my father-in-law.

Finding a pulse can be a tricky thing. When I learned CPR on dummies, we didn’t use the kind that simulated pulses. As a result, we did a pulse check knowing full well there wasn’t going to be one. I tried his neck, I tried his wrist, and I tried his chest. I couldn’t find anything, so by all counts I should have begun doing CPR, but I doubted myself. I thought “well this might be a faint one right here.” In my mind it’s a scary thing to begin chest compressions, because that means someone’s in REAL trouble. I ended up not doing any compressions because I wasn’t thinking objectively; I hadn’t thought about any of this in years and I was scared of messing up.

Somewhere in this sequence we called an ambulance. Thankfully, there was a volunteer fire station not two blocks away, so they arrived very quickly. That time we spent waiting for them seemed like it took forever, though. Between trying to find a pulse, rescue breathing, trying to shoo the kids out of the room, and all the confusion going on, it was chaos. My youngest, who was a little older than a year at the time, crawled over Lee’s legs, cheerfully unaware that anything was wrong, before we got the kids wrangled up.

Once the EMTs arrived I happily yielded to someone who knew a lot more about what to do in this situation. Almost right away after evaluating the situation, they wrapped some kind of band around Lee’s chest, and it began doing chest compressions on its own. We filled in some of the volunteers on what happened, what kind of meds Lee took, etc., all while the EMTs worked on him. It seemed to take awhile, but eventually they prepared to load him into the ambulance. As they were busily moving about, I asked one of them “do we have a pulse?” I was very glad to hear “we do, but it’s weak.”

They loaded Lee into the ambulance, and off they went. I drove Pam to the hospital, chasing right behind. The trip was a short one, thankfully. We went into the ER and eventually met up with the doc on duty, and we told him what we knew. A flurry of phone calls, conversations with doctors, and newly arriving friends of the family followed. This particular hospital wasn’t well equipped to deal with this situation, so they prepared to transfer Lee via helicopter to a larger hospital in Toledo about an hour away by car. Shortly before the helicopter departed, the staff invited a few of us back to where Lee was being prepped for the trip. He was intubated, had IVs and heart monitors in place, and was still unconscious. This was Pam’s opportunity to see Lee one more time before splitting up to travel separately.

After a few moments, we left the ER. Some friends of the family volunteered to drive Pam up to the hospital in Toledo. We went back to the house and got a few things packed for Pam. My wife, deeply concerned about her father, wanted to go along too, so she got ready to leave. In a whirlwind they grabbed a few items and headed out. Once they departed, I was left there with my three young kiddos, just the four of us, in a house that suddenly seemed very quiet, and we didn’t know how long it would be before anyone came back.

Looking back, I didn’t do any chest compressions on Lee even though I probably should have. No, I hadn’t had any refresher training in a long time, but I knew what was next in the sequence. The reason I didn’t do it was because I was so scared of making the wrong decision (starting chest compressions when there was no need to do them) that I ended up making no decision. On the other hand, enough training came back to me to be able to help Lee in the immediate situation until more skilled people arrived. Ultimately the EMTs and volunteers’ speedy arrival was crucial in Lee living long enough to open his eyes again, but for the next few days we weren’t sure if that was going to happen.

You have to train now for things that will happen in the future. By the time you get there and need the knowledge, it will be too late to learn something and start new habits. I’m not talking strictly in the sense of emergency response, but for difficult and trying times in general. They’re coming. How do you react when things go sideways? What are you spending your time thinking about, moving toward, and taking steps to become? When hard times come, do you dig harder into devotions and prayer, or stop doing them altogether? If your track record is to be considered your training regimen, have you been training yourself to turn to God, or away from him?

Lee’s chances of survival were dropping the longer I hesitated. Even though I knew what I should be gearing up to do, I didn’t start doing it because I wasn’t confident about his pulse. The things you’ve spent time repeating, drilling into yourself, come back to you though, and you can draw on them when you need them. What do you do repetitively and regularly today in order to prepare yourself for when you’ll need it in the future?

Read Part 2 or Part 3

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Power Versus Authority

Courtesy of tonyevans.org

Rumor has it there’s a pretty big football game coming up this weekend. With that in mind, I’m going to rely on a “guest contributor” for today’s post. (I’m really just stealing from his website.) Tony Evans writes: 

In a football game, the players tower over the referees. The players are bigger, stronger and more powerful than the older, smaller and, often, out-of- shape referees. In a game, the players can use their power to knock you down, but the referees can use their authority to put you out of the game.

Never confuse power with authority.

Satan may be able to knock you down. He has more power than you. But he has absolutely no authority over you if you’re a believer. Of course, Satan knows that, but he doesn’t want you to know it. So, Satan tries to intimidate with lies and pressure and to deceive you into believing he has authority over you.

On the cross, Jesus Christ deactivated, dismantled and disarmed Satan’s rule over sin and death (Colossians 2:13-15). God gave the ultimate authority to His Son. He has placed all things in subjection to Jesus.

One of the reasons we often don’t live in light of this truth is because we confuse the terms “power” and “authority.” Satan still has power. He still dominates the world in which we live and influences people’s lives in countless ways. His tactics are both real and destructive. But what he doesn’t have is final authority. Jesus has the authority. Jesus is exalted “far above all rule and authority and power and dominion” (Ephesians 1:21).

Satan has no authority or power over the one who is aligned under the covering of the risen and exalted Christ. This is why Satan will try long and hard to hinder the one who has an abiding relationship with Jesus. He knows if he can get you to ignore the authority and rule of Christ in your day-to- day activities and decisions, he can deceive, trick and harm you however he chooses. Yet acknowledging and remaining under Christ’s lordship and authority will protect you from Satan’s onslaught.

God “made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:5-6).

When Christ died, you died with him. When Christ arose, you arose with Him. When Christ sat down at the right hand of the Father, you sat down with Him. In other words, you were made to function in concert and cadence with Christ. For you to gain access to the authority which comes through the perfect union of Jesus Christ—bringing heaven to bear on earth—you must abide in Him. To abide means to dwell, to align your thoughts, choices and perspective under God’s thoughts, choices and perspective. It means connecting with Him and honoring Him in everything you do. God doesn’t want weekend visits with His kids; He wants full custody.

This is such an important part of the victorious Christian life. You can go to all of the church services you want, read all the spiritual books you want, even do all the Bible studies that you want, but experiencing all God has planned for you comes only through aligning yourself under and abiding in the one who reigns over all, the exalted Lord Jesus Christ.