Tag: fail

Posted on

There’s no Business Like Snow Business

In the last week or so here in the DC area, we’ve had the most snow we’ve had in a couple of years. Though it’s just about completely gone by now, the snow and accompanying cold snap we’ve had has got me thinking of days gone by when I spent more time in the snow.

I took up the sport of cross-country skiing when I was in college. I took a half-credit class my Freshman year, and man, did I enjoy it. After I got bit by the bug, I got a job repairing/maintaining the school’s skis (which meant I could take them out whenever I wanted), I went out and bought my own skis, and I spent a lot of time skiing around the college’s cross-country running trails. I can only remember cutting class once in college, and it was to go out XC skiing on new fallen snow on a Friday afternoon.

One of the things I liked so much about cross-country skiing was the mobility I had in places I wouldn’t otherwise go. When you couple that freedom with the peacefulness that’s out there in nature, with sounds muffled by the snow, it was something I enjoyed very much.

Well, I need to tell you about a dopey move I made on skis. The college I attended had its own mini ski slope. It wasn’t anything major, but it was great for teaching people who have never gone downhill skiing before. For those that aren’t familiar, these are two very different types of skiing. Downhill skiing is the stuff you do when you get all bundled up and ride on chair lifts, and cross-country skiing is the stuff that NordicTrack tries to simulate. This ski slope had a green circle (bunny slope) to teach students the basics, a blue square to give students more room and a steeper slope to try out their skills, and a black diamond (more of a blue square plus) with a still steeper slope to let students pick up some greater speed.

One night a buddy and I wanted to go take advantage of the fresh powder that had just fallen. One of the best places to go was near the ski slope. The ski slope was closed and there were no lights in the area, but after being out in the dark for awhile my eyes adjusted, especially with the snow making things brighter.

Now cross-country skiing isn’t exactly the most relaxing sport. You’re doing a lot of work; you’re always either kicking with the skis or pushing with the poles. Since you’re the one providing the propulsion, the sound and cadence of skis and poles moving through the snow are ever present. That constant effort makes you really appreciate the free trip you get when going down hills, and it can seem almost otherworldly to glide down a hill without all the noise.

The powder on this occasion was deep enough that it prevented me from building up a lot of speed. It was just the right depth that I could go sailing straight down the main ski slope without bombing down the hill at a breakneck pace, something you don’t normally get to experience on cross-country skis. Only the front tips of the skis stuck out of the snow, and as they blazed trails through the unspoiled powder, snow the consistency of powdered sugar sprinkled with salt caved back in on the skis and covered them, all while I moved down the hill with no more than a gentle swishing sound. It was a delightfully serene moment I wanted to capture as best as I could.

I had my camera with me (back when people carried cameras but not phones), and even though I knew it wouldn’t do justice to the real thing, I wanted to try. I took out my camera and turned it on, and looked through the viewfinder (remember those?) to get the view of my skis that I wanted. I pressed the button, and a brilliant flash from the camera, which then reflected off a totally white surface, blinded my perfectly adjusted night vision as I continued straight down the hill.

Very quickly I realized there was a decision I had to make. There were trees, machinery, and other stuff at the bottom of the hill that I could crash into and get seriously hurt, but I figured I would probably miss it all. My vision might even come back early enough for me to make out any dangers before I got close to them. I could also start turning across the slope to buy myself some time for my vision to return, but then I would be heading toward some trees for sure. Cross-country skis don’t turn as easily as downhill skis, especially in powder, so that would also be an action that would benefit from being able to see.

Well, I probably could’ve made it to the bottom safely, but the choice seemed to be all risk and no reward, especially considering how soft it would be to fall down in that much powder. I intentionally fell over and waited until I stopped seeing stars. My serene moment was fun while it lasted, but it ended when I slumped down into a frozen white blanket until I could see again.

It’s a pretty unremarkable picture if there’s no context

Whatever the weather’s like where you are, I hope you’re healthy and well, that the first month of the new year has been treating you right, and that in the coming weeks you get some weather you enjoy.

Posted on

Explainer: Government Shutdowns and House Turmoil

The news cycle is so short these days that this post already feels like old news. It’s been in the headlines a lot lately, but what exactly is a government shutdown? You may already know a lot of this, so if you’re pretty up to speed on the subject, feel free to skip ahead a bit.

It’s not totally realistic to compare a federal budget to a household budget, but we’ll start there. Whatever sources of income you have…that’s the money you have available to spend. If you spend more than you take in, you’re running at a deficit and you end up going into debt if you keep it up. For the average Jane or Joe, you can’t just continually spend at a deficit and go further into debt without running into some serious problems. If you die with debt, the debt still exists somewhere and gets passed along somehow. The federal government, so the argument goes, never actually has to pay off its debt because unlike a normal citizen, the government doesn’t actually die. The thinking here is that you can keep running at a deficit indefinitely.

That might be true if the debt was kept at reasonable levels or if you have years every now and then where you pay some off. Unfortunately, our government loves to SPEND money. We spend money on things that are necessary (interstate highways, a military, disaster relief, etc.), and we spend money on things whose value is more difficult to identify. We spend a lot of money on special projects that don’t benefit anyone other than constituents of specific political districts.

Our politicians, like others around the world, do what they have to do in order to remain in power. In our case, the House of Representatives is in charge of putting forth the budget every year. Representatives in Congress run for reelection every two years (meaning they’re constantly either in a campaign or are preparing for one), so they look for opportunities to throw extra money at organizations in their Congressional district in an attempt to gain favor, and to have something positive to point at in their next campaign season. We’ve got 435 Representatives, so you can imagine how, with each of them trying to throw a little extra green at their home district, this quickly adds up to numbers that extend way beyond the basic budget.

Now, here’s a curveball. Most of the drama leading up to a shutdown is intentional. Everybody (especially those in Congress) knows that there’s wasteful spending in the federal budget. You could argue that the fairest thing to do is to cut all the extra pork out of the budget, but that will also affect representatives differently. Because it’s a complicated issue, most Reps opt not to change what’s already been decided. Our Representatives in the House know that if they avoid taking meaningful action until very late in the process, it builds pressure on the entire body to approve temporary extensions (called “continuing resolutions”) that continue funding the government at the rate it’s been using. It does nothing to modify spending levels or remove any wasteful spending, it just keeps doing what it’s been doing for a little longer.

Here’s where the brouhaha from last week comes in. In the last election cycle, Republicans won back control of the House, so they obtained the right to decide how to lay out the budget (though the Democrat-controlled Senate and White House both have to sign off on any budget proposals). Republicans ran on the idea of reigning in DC’s out-of-control spending. The way they planned to do it was by passing individual bills for the obviously necessary parts of the budget (the Farm bill, funding for the Department of State, the Department of Defense, etc.), meaning that funding for a large amount of the current wasteful spending would simply disappear. If this had happened, this would have saved us a huge chunk of money as a nation.

The problem is that they couldn’t get it done in time. There was some brinksmanship, some games, some intentional pressure-building, and in the end they said “hey look, we want to continue with this ‘fund the essentials’ approach, but we ran out of time. Let’s pass a 45-day continuing resolution to give us the time we need to pass about a dozen of these bills that will fund the stuff we really need.”

Toward that end, the Republicans passed an extension of a Democrat-designed budget (including very high spending levels for the priorities laid out by Democrats) in order to try to enact an approach that requires the agreement of a bunch of people that don’t truly want it to succeed. A few of the Republican reps in the House said “we have to draw the line somewhere,” opposed the proposed bill, and then lashed out against now former Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy when he framed the budget to gain support from some Democrats. This week McCarthy was voted out of his Speakership role and has announced he does not want the job again.

Now all real work in Congress (including work on those multiple bills that will fund the crucial parts of the government) stops until the House can vote in a new Speaker. Last time they had to pick a speaker, it took four days and 15 rounds of voting before McCarthy got enough votes. The clock is still ticking on those 45 days, and many of the House’s representatives are just fine with bumping up against that new November 17 deadline without a permanent budget in place, because it increases the chances they’ll pass another continuing resolution to keep funding the pet projects that are meant to make people in their home districts happy.

The sad truth is that our government consistently spends more money than it takes in, and the national debt has reached mind-boggling levels with few politicians willing to do anything about it. While all the focus has been on the debt ceiling, the national debt has ballooned to unsustainable debt-to-GDP ratios. We have so much debt at this point that, due to debt and high interest rates, we now have to use almost a fifth of our budget to service our debt. A fifth! If you had to use 20% of your income to pay off credit card bills, imagine the financial freedom and new possibilities that would open up to you if you didn’t have that expense. The government is using our tax dollars very inefficiently, and as our credit rating keeps dropping, it will affect all of us at the personal level by having a higher floor for interest rates. All the folks in DC get to shrug their shoulders and point at someone else.

So that’s what we’re dealing with. Hopefully the House will be successful in passing some clean bills this month or next so we can start paying back some of that debt.

Posted on

An Apology to the Taxpayers

I’m sure you’ve heard stories of some kind of wasted taxpayer money before. Well I’m sorry to say that some wasteful federal spending once happened because of me (at least on a smallish scale).

This is back in 2004, and the Air Force was paying my salary at the time. I was stationed at Fairchild Air Force Base, near Spokane, Washington. While I was waiting for some paperwork to go through, I supplemented the folks teaching water survival.

It was a cool gig. I don’t remember what happened each day of the week, but one day out of the week was a course where they simulate being in a helicopter that crashes in the water and rolls over as it sinks. Two other days out of the week was a course where they taught students how to signal from the ocean, how to use rescue devices that were dropped from aircraft, how to use radios and distress beacons, and the course culminated in a big production in the indoor pool where the students climbed into a big aircraft simulator that then “crashed” into the ocean. There were two already-inflated life rafts lashed to the side of the pool (with ice water inside). The lights were all shut off, a thunderstorm soundtrack played from enormous speakers up in the rafters, and strobe lights simulated lightning. As the students evacuated the “aircraft” and jumped into the water, my job was to spray them using a fire hose while on a catwalk up above. I’m not gonna lie, it felt crazy to be getting paid for stuff like this.

These courses were pretty messy and took some time to set up. We used the other two days out of the week to clean up all the wet gear and reset it to prepare for the next course. Those were good days to schedule medical/dental appointments and any other type of official errands that Uncle Sam mandated.

This goober is modeling a pair of fully inflated LPUs

On one of those days, I was at some kind of appointment at the beginning of the day, then returned to the pool to help with prep. As it turned out, while I had been at my appointment, one of the instructors taught my colleague (someone that was supplementing, like me) how to pack LPUs, or Life Preservation Units. An LPU is a piece of survival gear that some aviators wear. When you’re descending toward the water while dangling from a parachute, you can pull the tabs on your LPU and two big high-visibility pontoons will inflate in a flash, providing more than enough buoyancy to keep you afloat.

Well, when I got back to the shop, my colleague showed me how to pack an LPU. Each LPU had two CO2 canisters that, when punctured by pulling the inflation tabs, quickly inflated the pontoons, even if completely submerged. Packing the LPUs meant unscrewing the old canisters, resetting the pull switches, screwing in new canisters, and then folding up the big orange/pink balloons into small compartments that could be easily worn by an aviator.

Packing LPUs

Unfortunately when my buddy showed me how to pack LPUs, he didn’t show me the right way. The two of us packed tons of LPUs and set them on the shelf, thinking they were ready for students in future classes to use. When they got pulled off the shelf and used during an actual lesson, students that ran off the diving board expecting their LPUs to inflate midair had to end up swimming for it.

While that’s obviously embarrassing for the water survival instructors, that’s not the part I owe taxpayers an apology for. The way the LPU puncture mechanism worked, it wasn’t physically possible to properly reset the mechanism without removing the new CO2 cylinders, and it wasn’t possible to remove the unused CO2 canisters without puncturing them. We had to intentionally pull the inflation tabs, knowing it would waste two perfectly good cylinders per LPU. Each cylinder that was improperly installed in an LPU had to be unscrewed and tossed on the floor, shooting all over the place like a corkscrewing balloon while turning ice cold from the sudden expansion of compressed gas.

Considering all the LPUs we packed and a rough guess that each CO2 cylinder cost about $10, we’re talking hundreds of dollars of wasted taxpayer money. It would’ve been far better to each waste a pair of cylinders by doing a quality control test after packing just a pair or two of the LPUs rather than the way we did it.

Yep, they all need to be packed

So for those of you that dutifully paid your taxes back in the 2003/2004 timeframe, I’m sorry I wasted some of your hard-earned money. The Government is funded by the people, and you deserve better than that. I wish I’d known to correct the mistake sooner! It’s been almost 20 years since I’ve been around LPUs, but that lesson has taught me to keep an eye out for ways to head off the wasteful use of resources (even if it’s as simple as making my kids finish the food on their plates before they can be excused).

Posted on

Sometimes A Calculated Risk Pays Off in Spades

I had to do one of my first research reports in 5th grade. I don’t think I’ve spent a whole lot of time checking into the state of Indiana before or since.

I wrote up a report on the state’s population size, its different regions, its climate, likely some stuff on its economy, and probably a few other things. My handwriting was nice and neat (for a change), and I assembled my papers and supporting graphics into one of those folders with the little brass things you stick through the holes in the paper to keep it secure in the folder.

On the day we were supposed to turn it in, I was pretty happy with my well-researched work of academic prowess. I had placed it carefully in my Trapper Keeper and brought it to class without even bending the edges.

As I looked around the class, I was horrified to realize that I had done nothing at all for the cover! While some kids had color photos, printouts, or elaborate drawings on the front of their state reports, all I had was a plain blue folder.

In a panic, I racked my brain about what to do. There was no possible way to do anything substantial before turning it in. That kid over there had cut out pictures of famous landmarks from their state and used a glue stick to fix them on the cover. Kids were already starting to hand their reports in!

The best I could do was to haphazardly draw a picture freehand. I whipped the report open to a picture of the state’s shape and committed the proportions and south border to memory, then started drawing on the front. The drawing was a little off center, but I topped it off with a star roughly where the capital city was. Then I threw the state name in big letters under it and put my name under that. The cover design wasn’t very good, but it was the best I could do in such a short time. I knew I’d get no points at all for the cover if I didn’t do anything, so what did I have to lose?

I don’t remember how I did on the report, but I remember that I got three out of 10 points for the cover portion. Not my best work, but three was better than zero.

If you’re not really ready to jump into this “Jesus thing” with both feet, ask yourself: “what do I have to lose?” Most people are tentative about having to give up some part of their lifestyle or quit something they’ve grown to like. This isn’t like a gym membership where you feel you have to get in shape before you walk through the doors for the first time. Come as you are. Let’s say you grow deeply committed and change your whole lifestyle and then it turns out there’s nothing waiting for us after death. In that case you won’t even possess a consciousness to realize what you’ve given up. If, on the other hand, Christ actually is who He says He is, you will have gained immeasurably more than what you had before. Sounds like very little risk for an immense payoff.

What do you have to lose?

Posted on

Some People Burn Rubber; This Family Flung it

When I was in my early teens I had a buddy named Cameron. If Cameron had a super power, it was anything that had to do with rubber bands. That dude had rubber bands stashed all over the house, and he was a crack shot with them.

The house where he lived had a skylight in the kitchen, and every once in awhile a fly would buzz around in there, looking for a way out. It seemed like he could always take those guys out on the first try. He also used rubber bands to make slingshots out of branches he found that were the right size/shape. If we had Instagram back then, we’d have been on it doing rubber band madness.

I’m not sure how it started, but at one point Cameron and I ignited some kind of playful feud with his dad. I was at their house like, all the time, so he was probably looking for a way to encourage me to spend less time there. I wasn’t quite “Steve Urkel” bad, but Cameron’s dad often referred to me as “the infestation.” He wasn’t too shabby with rubber bands, either, and on more than one occasion I had to dive for cover to try to escape the onslaught of flying rubber.

Again, the details are fuzzy, but one evening we anticipated that his dad was on the prowl and looking to light us up somehow. I’m pretty sure the “Home Alone” movies were fresh in our minds, and our heads were filled with ideas whose effectiveness was portrayed maybe a little too generously in the movies.

The way his house was set up, Cameron and his sister had the only rooms on the second floor, and the only other thing up there was a bathroom. He had sort of a cool setup in his room; the ceilings slanted down to the walls, so the room got shorter as you went away from the middle, but on the other side of the walls there was some storage space where the ceiling got uncomfortably short. It was a pain to get in there if you were the size of an adult, but it was great for us as kids. Our plan was to set up a bunch of alarms and traps out in Cameron’s room, and then let them stand guard while we set up a fort in one of the storage spaces so we could defend ourselves.

I don’t remember everything we set up, but I remember I brought some stuff from my house to help us out. I brought a tape player with a cassette tape cued up to a loud spot in a Michael W. Smith song, and I made a trigger out of a motorized Construx creation. I also know I brought a small chain and a bunch of metal jax. Cameron probably set up some kind of auto-rubber band crossbows aimed at the door. We strung a bunch of rubber bands together (I don’t think I can properly explain just how many rubber bands were in this house; it’s like Cameron asked for bags of rubber bands for his birthday and Christmas, and he got them) but we’d take these strings of rubber bands and pull them tight all across the room, fastening them to different things and making a sort of web. From one of them I hung the little chain, and I put the pile of metal jacks right under it, so if something disturbed the rubber band string that held the chain, it would fall onto the jacks and make a distinctive noise. The chain was barely hanging on to the string, so a false alarm wasn’t out of the question.

That wasn’t the big alarm, though. The big one was the tape player I mentioned. It was connected to a tripline that an intruder would set off, and everyone in the house would the loud guitar from the start of “Goin’ Through the Motions” if tripped. I don’t know what else we set up, but I’m sure there were other traps. Once we finished that, we shut off the lights and went to work in the storage space, rearranging boxes, garbage bags full of stuff, and strategically storing rubber band ammunition in various locations. If Cameron’s dad was coming for us, he’d either have to turn on the lights (giving himself away) or risk running through our field of booby traps.

Well, we were focused on the best way to set up a defense, and busied ourselves with strategy, plans, and fall-back areas. We had it all planned out. “The decoy dives over here while the other guy pops up and nails him from over here! When he pivots to focus on that guy, the decoy army crawls through this makeshift tunnel and hits him from the other side of the pillar! He won’t see it coming! ”

While we were making our grand strategy, we both thought we heard something out in Cameron’s room that sounded a lot like a little chain falling onto metal jacks. We both froze, wondering: 1. if we had actually heard something, 2. if it was a false alarm, and 3. now what?

Before we could do anything, Cameron’s dad burst into the storage space, filling the air with a hail of rubber projectiles. Surprised shrieks filled the room as we dove for cover but still got hit multiple times. There were so many rubber bands in the air at the same time, it’s like the guy had four arms with eight fingers and three thumbs on each hand, and they were all working on delivering stinging hits to the two of us. Well, we couldn’t mount any kind of coherent defense, and it was a massacre. Cameron’s dad shellacked us pretty good, and there was no denying who won that particular engagement.

You may have had a similar experience (in the metaphorical sense, at least). You recognize that you’re exposed to temptation from certain sins, and you’ve taken the precautions that you believe will be effective in keeping you safe. As it turns out, though, either your precautions didn’t work or something else went wrong, and you ended up not being as safe as you thought. Maybe you put your trust somewhere you shouldn’t have. Maybe you blocked a specific website but you found a different one you shouldn’t be visiting, or you stopped talking about people behind their backs, but now you disguise the gossip as a prayer request.

These things happen. You have to constantly check your defenses, taking frequent looks at your life to evaluate where you’re vulnerable. Things change rapidly; don’t rely on old measures that no longer reflect the modern vulnerabilities in your life. Know yourself and know what you have a hard time overcoming, and place countermeasures in your life that enable you to stand up to them. (In some cases, that requires a literal fleeing from the situation.)

Rubber bands can sting, but there are things that sting much worse. Set up the protections you know will help you be more effective in standing up to temptation.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. –Ephesians 6:12-13

Posted on

Of Course THAT’S When She Walked Through the Door!

Years ago I found myself bringing my toddler son out in our backyard to give him a change of scenery. He was a curious little guy, and sometimes even just bringing him to a different room or out in the backyard kept him busy for a little while.

Our yard at the time was very small, but it had plenty of stuff for my little guy to explore. It was fenced in, had an HVAC condenser unit, a shed, and a little sandbox. There was always something to clean up back there, so I busied myself doing that while my son set about exploring his environment.

I think I noticed a strange look on his face right around the same time my wife came outside to join us. Having “Mom Radar,” she spotted his expression right away and hurried over to him and opened up his mouth. To her disgust, my son had picked up a little Roly-Poly (a pillbug) and put it in his mouth. She fished it out while half laughing and half scolding her husband. If only she were married to someone responsible, he could be trusted to care for the well being of this little boy out in the backyard!

Man, I blew it. Daddy fail. There are other fails, but this is probably one of the more mild ones. I still have the teenage years ahead of me, so I’m probably going to blow it on multiple occasions when the stakes are higher.

This Sunday is Father’s Day. Everyone out there has a father. Maybe you have a fabulous relationship with your dad. You may have had a terrible father. You may not have ever met your dad. Whatever the case may be, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that if he hasn’t already, your dad is probably going to let you down at least once (I’m certainly no exception). Even if he loves you, he’s human, and humans make lots of mistakes. (It’s not a dig at you, Dad!)

I can also guarantee you, though, that not only does your Heavenly Father love you, but He does NOT make mistakes. He loves you enough to rebuke you, to discipline you, and to steer you in the direction He wants you to go in, even if it’s not the direction you’re trying to go. Whereas I try to let my kids be kids and encourage them in some of their interests without knowing what they’ll someday become, the Lord controls different aspects of your life to get you to arrive exactly where He wants you to be, right when He wants you to be there, with the right experience already under your belt.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. –Proverbs 19:21

“And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to Me,” Says the Lord Almighty. -2 Corinthians 6:18

Happy Father’s Day to the dads out there!

Posted on

Road Trips are Less Fun When You’re the Only One Awake

While we’ve still got some Winter Olympics going on, here’s another tale from when my friend Jeremy and I went to check out the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City.

On the way out west we had plenty of time to get there, so we drove during the day and stopped at night to sleep at rest stops. On the way back east we were in a hurry to get the rental car turned back in and get back to school. To save time, our plan was to drive through the night.

On our last day in Utah we watched a cross-country skiing event and then left to start the trip east directly from there. Jeremy took the first shift driving, and drove most of the day. Still keyed up from our experiences so far, it dawned on me a little too late that I should be trying to catch some sleep while he was driving. I do okay when I have to get up early, but I don’t do real well when I have to stay up late. I think I tried catching a nap, but when there’s pressure to fall asleep, it makes it harder to do, so I don’t think I got any sleep to speak of.

When the time came for Jeremy to tag out, I got behind the wheel and started driving. I don’t remember if it was dark when I started, but if it wasn’t, it wasn’t long before night fell. Jeremy racked out in the back seat for awhile. Between the darkness, drone of the road noise, lack of conversation, and the cumulative excitement of the day (and past week plus), I was ready for some sleep and it got hard to stay awake and alert.

I’m not saying anyone should do this, but we had learned through experimentation that the max speed you could set the cruise control to was 82.5 mph. That speed sounds really fast, but it wasn’t egregious when the speed limit was 75. We regularly set it that fast, but slowed down when we saw cops off in the distance. It was great because out there, where there were big stretches of wide open road, cops with radar guns had nowhere to hide; you could often see for miles.

You can’t see them at night, though.

You know that point in sleepiness where your eyes are half-lidded and moving your eyeballs around seems like it takes too much effort? That’s where I was, when, at 82.5 mph, I blew past two cop cars parked on the median somewhere in Nebraska.

Well, the red and blue lights came on and started coming my way. That makes for an uncomfortable way to rouse someone from their slumber. “Hey dude, wake up. Um…we’re getting pulled over.”

If I had been half asleep 30 seconds ago, I was wide awake now.

I pulled over on the shoulder and waited while the officer ran our plates. Eventually he came alongside the passenger’s window, taking a peek inside with his flashlight. He probably didn’t know what to think as he saw a dude in a sleeping bag in the back seat, boxes of supplies and cold-weather gear scattered throughout the front and back seats, and skis and ski poles stuffed along the side of the car. We handed both of our licenses over and sat there waiting as he ran our names through his computer.

I don’t totally remember the sequence of events, but I ended up going to sit in the front passenger’s seat of his cruiser with him (no, not while wearing handcuffs). I told him a little about us, that we had driven across the country to go watch some of the Olympics, and now we were on our way back. It’s important to understand that the animosity toward cops that’s so prevalent today wasn’t the case back then. This was a mere five months after the events of 9/11, when police officers and other first responders were hailed as heroes. There was a much greater attitude of “we’re all in this together” among Americans. He asked me about some of the events (and big-name athletes) we’d seen and what else we had done while we were out there. I think we probably broke up a boring night shift for him.

He had clocked me driving at a speed that gave him leeway to decide whether to give me a ticket or to let me off with a warning. I think he kind of liked the idea of the adventure we were on, so he let me off with a warning, but he did recognize that I was a legitimate danger to myself and others on the road because of how tired I was. He stressed the importance of being alert and urged me to get somewhere safe and get some sleep…soon…then let us go. We stopped at the next exit, gassed up, and switched drivers. We made it back to school the following evening.

Nobody likes to see those flashing lights come on in their rear-view mirror. I’m not sure how long it took me to realize it, but getting stopped on this occasion quite possibly saved not only my life, but the life of the passenger in the back seat, and maybe others on the road that night. If I hadn’t been stopped, I probably would’ve fallen asleep at the wheel. I guess you could say that God threw a little hiccup in my plans, which ended up saving me from myself.

There are things that will happen in this life that you’ll gripe and grumble about as they’re happening, only for you to realize later that those were things to be grateful for. Live through enough of those events, and it helps you realize that you’re probably better off not grumbling about things that seem bad in the short term, because you don’t yet know how they tie into the bigger picture. God often makes you take the scenic route while you have the express lane in mind, and vice versa. We don’t see until after the fact that it was something we wouldn’t have chosen, but had unforeseen benefits.

The next time you get hit with something that seems like something to groan about, try holding off on the complaints for awhile. It might just be God’s way of saving you from yourself.

To all those officers out there, thank you for being willing to step into tense and uncertain situations on the public’s behalf every time you go to work. Additional thanks to those of you that have cut a little slack to people that just needed to be scared a little bit by the flashing lights of a police car.

Posted on

Winter Olympics, From Salt Lake City to Beijing

Though I’m not really paying much attention to the 2022 Winter Olympics, it does bring up some fun memories. For those of you that are long-time readers of the blog, you may remember that when I was in college my roommate Jeremy and I drove from Western New York State out to Utah to attend some of the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City. It’s crazy to think that our Utah trip was 20 years ago. Today’s entry doesn’t really have a “moral” to it…just some memories.

I don’t want to rehash a whole lot right here (you can read some of the previous Olympic entries here), but when you’re trying to pull together a trip like this on a budget, you’re going to have to forego some amenities. During our whole trip (nine days), we didn’t shave or sleep indoors at all. We either slept in sleeping bags in the car at rest stops or in a tent in the mountains. Ours was a very outdoorsy college, so we were able to rent a large amount of camping gear from the recreation department. Our diet wasn’t the healthiest, either. I remember a lot of Cheez-Its and an apple every now and then.

Anyway, we got out there early enough to have a day without any plans before attending our first event. I forget if it was a state park or a national forest somewhere, but we parked in the parking lot and used cross-country skis to head in and scout a spot to set up camp.

The snow was pretty deep, and if you tried walking through it without snowshoes or skis, you’d sink up to your knees or so. When we first arrived, it was snowing pretty hard and it was starting to get dark, so we had to find a spot and set up camp pretty fast. We skied off the main trail and uphill into a wooded area where we weren’t likely to get mowed over by snowmobiles. We made a few sharp turns to get through the trees…something that can be tricky in tight quarters if you’re wearing skis that are taller than you are. We found a spot that would work, then skied back out to the car to grab our backpacks and gear. We hurried back in, set up camp, then warmed up some food and turned in for the night. (I think up until that point I had only camped in someone’s backyard overnight a single time. Between worrying about getting buried by a snow squall, being afraid of freezing to death, and hearing coyotes howling all night, it was a pretty intimidating experience for me.)

We spent two nights there, and on the second morning we broke camp to head to our first Olympic event. As we packed up everything and made sure we didn’t leave anything behind, we prepared to ski back out to the car. We attached our skis and buckled on our packs. Jeremy went first, heading back downhill toward the main trail. I brought up the rear.

On the way down, I approached one of those sharp turns a little too quickly. I had plenty of experience using cross-country skis, but I wasn’t accustomed to wearing a pack that was heavy enough to throw off my center of gravity. I took the turn like I normally would have, but between the deep powder and unusual weight distribution, my legs made the turn, by my upper body kept going. I biffed right there in the snow.

Remember what I said about walking in snow that deep without snowshoes or skis? Now imagine you’re lying face down in that kind of snow while wearing a backpack that’s pushing down on you. Every time you try to push yourself up with your arms, your arms sink back into the snow. I don’t even remember what I did to get back upright again; I must’ve packed the snow or grabbed some small trees or something, but I’m sure I looked like some kind of sedated walrus or something as I tried getting my feet back under me while wearing a puffy jacket and a backpack.

Anyway, the memories are mostly good ones. The bad ones just add a little variety. I’m thankful to have been able to go when I did, because if I were going to do it all again, there were some things I was willing to tolerate back then that I’m no longer willing to put up with now.

I hear that Salt Lake City is in the running to host the 2030 Winter Olympics. I don’t really see myself going, but if I did, I can’t say I’d be willing to drive there from an East Coast state, sleep in a tent (or in a car, for that matter) for more than a week in freezing temperatures 28 years after the first time I did it. Also, while Cheez-Its may still be on the menu, I think they’d be a much smaller portion of my overall diet than they were back then. I’m not totally shutting the door on the possibility of going, but I think I’m a tentative “no” for 2030.

Lord God, this life is full of memories, good and bad. Thanks for both kinds, and please help us to keep our focus on You as we age, and not get wrapped up about the things we can no longer do. Please grant safety and health to those participating in the games, as well as to those in attendance, and many, many thanks for a warm, comfortable bed and indoor plumbing! Amen

Posted on

The Safest Time to Kayak Over Waterfalls is When the Water’s Big

I feel like I’ve had a lot of “20-years later” stories either lately or coming up. (Kayelling, 9/11, attending the 2002 Winter Olympics). Well, Senior year of college was a busy time for me, I guess. Today’s post talks about an event that happened 20 years ago this week.

There’s a creek near where I went to college that had a pair of roughly 6-foot waterfalls that were spaced about 50-100 yards apart. During most of the year, this is a very scenic spot with a water depth of only a few inches, but during the spring rains and snow melt, the creek swells, the current becomes much swifter, and for kayakers, the water gets too big to resist.

Gearing up for a double waterfall!

A 6-foot waterfall doesn’t sound like much. I’m a little over 6 feet tall, so it’s no big deal when I look eye-to-eye with another person the same height as me. It’s a different story when you’re sitting on the floor, looking up at someone that tall. That’s sort of what it’s like when sitting in a kayak and looking at a 6-foot-tall waterfall. I’d been over a four- or five-foot waterfall before and it went very well, but it wasn’t in water this big and it wasn’t in a “must-succeed” situation where a second set of falls lay waiting beyond.

There were three of us going that day. We all slid our boats into the water and allowed ourselves to get a good amount of space between us. Our most experienced paddler went first and demonstrated the line we should follow. As the least experienced kayaker, I went second, and the third guy brought up the rear. I followed the guide’s line, and I hit the first set of falls perfectly. I paddled right over the edge and had a great landing, and it was exhilarating!

On approach to the first waterfall
Quit while you’re ahead

I’m not exactly sure what happened next, but I think I hit some kind of undercurrent I wasn’t expecting, and I flipped over. I can tell you from experience that it’s a very unsettling feeling to be headed toward a waterfall while floating upside down in a capsized kayak.

Even though the creek was swollen to several times its usual size, the water was still only about 18 inches to two feet deep. As I was upside down, my helmet bounced along the bottom of the creek bed. I moved the paddle into position to right myself, but I had to modify the technique because the water was so shallow. I think I was trying to decide whether I should try the technique I’d practiced countless times in the pool, or let go of my paddle and use my hands to try pushing off the bottom to get flipped back up, hoping to catch the paddle again afterward. I didn’t want to risk going over the second set of falls without a paddle, and this wasn’t really the best time to try flipping back over using a method I’d never tried before, so I went the traditional route, but the water was too shallow to make it work the way I’d practiced. I don’t remember how many times if I tried it, but between not knowing how far away the upcoming falls were and confronting a compelling need to breathe, I decided to bail out.

Without question, it was really nice to be able to take a deep breath again, but I still had to contend with some challenges. After dragging my head along the bottom and fighting against the creek bed to try to position my paddle, I figured I wouldn’t have any problem just standing up wherever I was. I faced upstream and got on my knees. My wetsuit stopped above my knees, and I later realized that being pushed along while kneeling on a stone creek bed tears up your shins pretty badly. I got up on one knee, but my sandals couldn’t get any traction. I think I tried on the other knee too, but neither try worked. With my back to the looming falls, I did the only other thing I could think of: I swam as if my life depended on it in a foot and a half of water.

Thankfully, I did NOT take a trip over that second set of falls. I made it to the bank safely and jogged downstream to catch up with the first guy, who recovered my boat and paddle for me.

Ever have something just go in a TOTALLY different direction from what you expected? Don’t let it get you down. Living a life for Christ is going to have moments where you simply feel overwhelmed or inadequate. Then on top of that, experiencing failures only makes it feel worse. I’m certainly thankful there weren’t too many people there to witness this embarrassing situation. My two fellow paddlers were extremely gracious, and they reminded me that outings with the biggest mishaps make for the best stories.

If things had gone according to plan, it would have been an amazing 90 seconds to experience, but it wouldn’t be a very exciting story to pass along. Don’t be afraid to attempt big things in the name of building Christ’s kingdom, but when things don’t work out the way you expect (because God doesn’t follow YOUR plan), learn from the experience and use it to either make the next time different or to benefit someone that reminds you of your unfortunate or inexperienced younger self. You’re not the first one to make mistakes, but maybe you can pass along the wisdom you’ve learned through hard-won experience so others don’t have to make the same mistakes you’ve made.

Lord Jesus, when I look back at all the crazy situations I’ve willingly placed myself in, and how unscathed I came out of them when I should have met with much more serious consequences, it’s clear to me that there’s something after those experiences You wanted me around for, and it reminds me not to waste this life. Help me learn from the past, be bold in following after You, and share the things I’ve learned with others. Also, I don’t know how many guardian angels you’ve assigned to me, but please…thank them and bless them in a special way for me!

Posted on

Schools That get a Failing Grade

Boy, I’d really like to get away from politics and get back to telling stories about doing SERE stuff in the Air Force or jumping out of airplanes or something, but the world just seems to insist on going crazy.

It looks like it’s happening again. Another Virginia county’s school system is passing policy changes that will result in boys being authorized to use the girl’s restroom (and vice versa). Before you tune out on me though, hang in there just a bit longer.

You know, at some point you have to ask…since this fails the common sense test, what’s really going on here?

A little background first. Prince William County Schools Superintendent Dr. LaTanya McDade is citing safety as a reason to create an environment that physically endangers students. (Here’s my last post, which shows how well that idea works.) At a school board meeting earlier this month, she said “All Prince William County students have a fundamental right to access educational programs and facilities that are safe and supportive of their physical, emotional, social and academic needs…” She also said “It is our mission to ensure every school community is inclusive, appreciates diversity, students have a sense of belonging and are affirmed in their identity.”

Affirmation is that important, huh? Affirmation is supposed to be used when somebody does a good job at something. To the parents out there…if your kid comes home and tells you about some kind of destructive behavior they’re getting into, YOU are the one with more life experience and YOU are the one that can help guide them. You don’t need to let them figure everything out by themselves. I’m all for letting kids make their own mistakes at the smaller level so they learn about consequences and critical thinking, but I’d say that no-questions-asked affirmation isn’t always the way to go, you know? “Hey, Mom/Dad, look, Johnny from school gave me a cherry bomb and said I should light it and throw it into traffic!” “Oh, wow, that’s wonderful news! Here’s a lighter!”

Now, the school system has some legal basis for doing this. A lawsuit settled in the Virginia Supreme Court established that public schools cannot use gender identity to deny a transgender student the right to access the school’s programs and facilities consistent with the student’s gender identity. Whether you agree or disagree, the court is saying “hey, you need to provide every student an opportunity to use school programs regardless of what gender they claim to be.” The decision effectively made this the law in Virginia. That being the case, I’d expect more Virginia school systems to start heading this direction.

The “Common Sense Fail” comes in recognizing the status of a non-binary student but still forcing them into using a binary system. If you have an X and a Y chromosome but identify as something other than a male, you shouldn’t get to compete in girls’ sports. That same person gets to use the girl’s restroom because it makes them feel affirmed, yet there’s apparently no concern for the other girls who feel uncomfortable or afraid to be alone in the bathroom with that person.

To inject some common sense back into the debate, if you’re going to recognize an unlimited number of genders, that’s fine, but you’re going to need to provide separate bathroom facilities for each of them. You’re also going to need to have separate sports leagues for each of them. Prohibitively expensive? Yep. Wildly impractical to have a league that has only three athletes in the whole county? You betcha. Fairer and safer for the girls and boys in school? I think so.

It’s not about fairness though, is it? Nobody’s actually interested in solving this problem, they’re interested in exacerbating it. Our kids can’t even perform basic math proficiently. Meanwhile, China’s out there firing hypersonic missiles. Don’t worry, though…at least the U.S. has its first transgender four-star admiral. That leads me to the deeper question…what’s this really about? What’s the real reason this is happening? Like I said two posts ago, there’s opportunity in chaos, but who’s poised to take advantage? Those that are dividing are looking to seize something they don’t yet have, while those that are trying to unite are trying to make more opportunity available for everyone.

Another point to ponder. The Virginia Supreme Court has effectively legislated from the bench. The Court has decided what the law should mean. If you live in Virginia, the only way to alter this reality now is to elect politicians that will write laws that modify the current situation. If you’re legally registered to vote in Virginia, you have the opportunity to do exactly that in less than two weeks. Only two states are holding gubernatorial elections this November, and Virginia is one of them (New Jersey is the other). You have the chance to help choose who will make the laws over the next four years.

Lord Jesus, thank you so much that we can rest knowing You’ve got your hand on the wheel. I pray for protection for all those that will be affected by this policy change, for good people and common sense to prevail, and for God-fearing people to be elected, not just at the state and local level, but at high levels as well. Amen