It’s Not a BAD Addiction, But it’s Still an Addiction

Every generation of college students has something that, looking back, tops the list of “Things We Wasted Time On.” For the guys of my era, the number one thing would probably be playing “Goldeneye.”

Goldeneye, for those who aren’t familiar, was a video game based on the James Bond movie of the same name. By today’s standards, the game is archaic and unrealistic, but back then it was pretty cutting edge and exciting (“It’s in 3D, man!”). It used the N64 gaming console, which enabled 3D motion rather than the Super Mario-era 2D setup, along with a first-person point of view. While the missions themselves were cool and followed scenes from the movie, the REALLY popular thing about the game was the multiplayer mode. You could have up to four players join in an every-man-for-himself battle royale where you could pick the setting, the weapons, and the limits. For whatever reason, this video game was cool enough for us to waste the better part of entire days.

There were a whole bunch of us who were into the game, but only one guy, Tom, owned it. We consistently packed into his dorm room. The two guys who lived there arranged their room to somehow squeeze a loveseat in the middle so they could accommodate players more comfortably. Tom had a huge TV (pre-flat screen, so it was huge in all three dimensions), the N64 console, and a whole bunch of the N64’s weird controllers. There were constantly multiplayer battles and tournaments going on in that room. I don’t know how the guys who lived there got any classwork or studying done. When both guys were at class or gone for the weekend and their room was locked, people would actually break into their room to play Goldeneye.

For awhile there, this game took over our lives. It’s all we could think about doing in our spare time. Sometimes classes got in the way of our Goldeneye time, so they had to be skipped. (You’ve got to have your priorities straight, right?) The TV was on in that room for pretty much the entire weekend, every weekend. Diet and hygiene suffered, and I imagine grades did, too.

Eventually the guys living in the room figured out they had to impose some restrictions on things if they were going to maintain their sanity. “Office hours” were imposed, but those quickly got violated and the boundary lines got blurred. Then Tom secured the game cartridge in his locked drawer, but he either wanted to play single player or someone always managed to talk him into taking it back out. What eventually worked was the two guys taking the “submarine missile launch protocol” approach. They took separate key components (like the cartridge and the console’s power cord) and locked them in their respective drawers. That way, both guys had to consent to playing before they got everything back out and anyone was able to play again.

Can you imagine being so hooked on something that you can’t cope with the idea of going a day or two without it? Maybe you know exactly what this is like. Maybe you’re struggling with cutting back on or cutting off something you know you need to get away from. You’ve maybe even given it a try, but found it’s too difficult to escape its orbit for very long.

As much as you don’t want to hear it, your fastest way to make progress is probably to ask for some help with your struggle. Someone else is able to see things you can’t, be strong when you’re not, and provide a helpful, steady hand when your resolve is all over the place. Remove yourself from the areas of temptation you’re struggling with, and intentionally impose obstacles that will make it more difficult to misuse the thing you’re thinking about.

(By the way, toward the end of college as we all explored different interests and moved out of the dorms, the Goldeneye craze died out. Sometime before we all graduated I went to Tom and offered to buy it from him. He sold me everything but the Goldeneye game itself, but I got its sister game, Perfect Dark (which had some of the same levels), and I still have it more than 20 years later. Every now and then I pull it out of mothballs and play for nostalgia’s sake.)

A Special Note of Thanks

This week marks a special milestone in my personal life.

Twenty years ago this week, my wife and I got married.

To my wife: thank you for being the wonderful, Godly woman you are…for dealing constantly with our three zany kids in all their crazy, for supporting me through the ups and downs we’ve faced, and for allowing me the decades-long habit of having multiple nights a week that are dedicated to school, blogging, or other projects.

Thank you for your love and respect this whole time.

Thank you for your honesty and integrity.

Thanks for taking care of yourself and still looking good 20 years later. 😉

Thank you for more laughs than tears.

Thanks for stepping into the growth opportunities God’s placed before you.

Thanks for holding on during this wild ride as we see what unknowns God takes us into.

Thank you and I love you!

Don’t Wash the Dishes and Your Face With the Same Cloth

Did you ever recognize something was wrong, but you compared it to the wrong standard? Trying to make it right using something that’s wrong isn’t going to work out so well.

One springtime years ago my wife and I took our three young kids to visit my Mom and Dad in the house where I grew up. Compared to where we lived with our kids at the time, Mom and Dad’s backyard was huge. They also lived way out in the country, miles from the nearest stoplight, so the wide open space and curvy back roads were an adventure for my kids.

All the old roads and routes came back to my memory. Any time we headed out to go somewhere I had to sort through old memories of how the roads connected. One day we loaded everybody up to head somewhere, and I decided on the route we’d take.

Wherever we were going, we took a road that passed right through the middle of a pig farm. It was a spot I’d passed through countless times on my way to or from school, football games, or friends’ houses. I even got pulled over by a cop there once. (I was speeding, but got away with a warning.) As you might imagine, pig farms don’t smell so good in the spring. The smell began percolating into our minivan’s interior, and the kids all started exclaiming “eeeewww!”

Deciding to take action, my younger daughter pressed the button to roll down the window, letting in the high-volume unadulterated stink in all its glory. With angry and surprised shrieks coming from the back, I hit the button to close her window again and we hurried out of the area. Confused about why she would do that, we asked what she was trying to do. In her mind, opening the window was going to blow the bad smell out. I guess it makes sense if you think of it that way, but she didn’t realize the air outside was even worse than what we were already dealing with. Though she meant to get rid of the smell faster, all it did was let in a whole lot more.

Remember in this life that even when it’s easy to be distracted about what’s important or what’s true, there’s only one real standard. It’s easy to begin comparing yourself to others. “I’m not anywhere near as bad as those nutjobs on TV.” That might be true, but Jesus is your standard, not the nutjobs. If you start focusing on the wrong standard, you’re going to lose sight of just how much (and how often) you need God’s grace, and that you’re dependent on it every day. It’s important to keep that in perspective. Don’t use really stinky air to make clean air.

Don’t Judge Others’ Spiritual Callings

Here’s a little spinoff of what we learn about spiritual gifts from the New Testament.

In 1 Corinthians 12, vv 4-6, Paul says There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.

Later in the chapter Paul goes on to address the people who desired to have the spiritual gift(s) that someone else had, rather than the gifts they themselves had been given. He goes on to write his famous “there are many parts, but one body” text, where he addresses the error of desiring to be a different part (that is, to have a different spiritual gift).

I’d like to present a similar topic in the same light. Think back over your life about some of the Christians you’ve known. Sometimes their Christian walk, or even their entire life, can be summed up or characterized by a simple description. Some have a deep compassion for the poor, while others seem meant to spur others on in encouragement. While some are out on street corners or in auditoriums evangelizing, some people are just trying to hang on long enough for God to untangle the horrible circumstances of their lives. For the people who struggle just to make it through each day, something like having a fiery desire to see justice done seems like an impossibly distant goal, the luxury of someone with time and space to take a deep breath.

Every Christian has a testimony, very few of which are the exact same. Long before we were born, God knew what our lives would look like, and He orchestrated events in our lives to either impose circumstances or tee up choices that would affect our lives in big ways. While some Christians are seemingly on the front lines of ministry, there are many who are fighting for spiritual (or physical) survival. Each one is important and none of them is less valuable than another if it’s God-ordained. If they all stay faithful to the Lord, they all bring Him glory in His timing.

We have to avoid the temptation to judge others in light of the spiritual purpose you’ve been given in your own life. So whether you’re out there engaging with others or you’re just trying to hang on a little bit longer, give God the glory and the praise for the things He’s brought you through and the things He’s yet to do. Your calling is for you, so whatever it is, give Him your best as you live it out.