Technology today enables us to obtain “analytics” about everything. Most new cars tell you what kind of gas mileage they’re getting. Social media accounts tell you with ridiculous accuracy all kinds of statistics about interactions between you and your connections. You can wear a watch that tells you how many steps you take and how much and what kind of sleep you get.
What if we had
something that tells us how much time (and the level of intensity) we spend
thinking about various topics?
Uh oh. It just got
uncomfortable in here.
Think about this: your
daydreams and wishes may not always come true, but the things you spend your time
thinking about represent the direction in which your life will move. Stated another way, your life
moves in the direction of your most prevalent thoughts. If you received
a pie chart with percentages of the time you spend thinking about different
things, both good and bad, would you be pleased with your life moving toward
the biggest slice of the chart?
I have a full-time job
and a family that includes three kids. Life is busy. After we lay the kids
down, most of the time I just want to switch my brain off and watch something entertaining.
There’s definitely a time and a place for that, but if that’s what you do most
of the time, there’s not much deliberate thought built into moving your life in
the direction you want it to go. A life with thoughts that constantly drift
leads to the kind of life that does the same thing.
Time for another
hypothetical chart. How many hours a week are you a Christian? One hour,
sometimes, on Sunday mornings? Are devotions built into your day? Is there a
group you can join…some kind of a Bible study or home group you can be a part
of? A close friend with which you’re able to discuss the challenges you face in
your Christian walk?
I say this not to shame
anyone, but to help you determine if any sort of changes are in order. There
are five weeknights in a week. Let’s assume that for whatever reason, two of
them are already spoken for, and you have three nights available. Consider
devoting at least part of one of them to this second chart. Put down that book
that isn’t doing anyone any good, and pick up something that’s going to focus
your mind where it should be focused. Instead of channel surfing, there are
plenty of inspirational talks, or even sermons, on YouTube. To get you started,
check out this website’s “Additional Resources” section: https://daregreatlynow.com/additional-resources/.
Your time is valuable.
That means that you probably value the things you spend thinking about during your
small amounts of free time. Do they honor God? Strive to make that happen, and
I promise you your life will move in a better direction.
I left for Air Force
Basic Training one December day in 2003. Young men and women from all over the
United States converged on San Antonio, Texas, to begin their Air Force
journey.
For those that aren’t
familiar with military life, the whole idea of Basic Training for any military
service is to take a collection of individuals with nothing in common and teach
them, well, the basics of life in that particular branch of service. People of
every race and economic background, political persuasion, from all 50 states,
Washington DC, and territories like Guam, Puerto Rico, and various other areas,
all need to learn how to cooperate and function as a team. The different
branches of the military vary in how they do it, but in the Air Force, all
enlisted members complete Basic Military Training (BMT) and then move on to
train for the particular job they’ll be doing. In the same group of basic
trainees, you might have someone that’s going to be an aircraft mechanic,
someone that’s going to be a door gunner on a helicopter, someone that’s going
to be a medic, someone that works in finance, and someone on the bomb squad.
Basic Military Training
is a good idea, and is necessary for military service, but it’s a terrible
experience for most. I hated it. The instructors are determined to make every
round peg fit into a square hole. If trainees/recruits refuse to conform or
play by the instructors’ rules, they don’t make it in the military. All men get
the same haircut; we all march in unison; even the name of our clothes–uniform–explains
the level of conformity to which we had to acclimate.
For the first few days,
before we got our haircuts and initial uniform issue, we looked about as
different as could be. After we got our haircuts and clothes, we all pretty
much looked the same and even had some difficulties telling each other apart.
Over time though, we learned to distinguish between fellow recruits that we
couldn’t tell apart before, and we discovered that different people had
different strengths. Some were good at leadership, others at academics. While
one group might excel at marching, they might be terrible at physical training
or shining boots. We learned that if we were to succeed as a team, those who
performed at a high level in a particular area needed to help teach those who
lagged behind.
In BMT we all worked
together to complete whatever tasks the instructors gave us. We didn’t always
see the point of a given task, but we knew that we had to do it or life would
become more miserable.
It’s a little different
in the body of Christ. We all bring something different to the table, but
Christ values each individual more than we can know. Christ followers didn’t go
through their own version of BMT, but they all have the shared experience of yielding
control of their lives to Him. It’s a wonderful experience to
“graduate” into becoming a Christian, but that’s when, like when we
finish BMT in the Air Force, we scatter and perform our different jobs. We all
have different strengths and weaknesses, and we’re free to use our strengths
for the glory of God’s kingdom.
In major military
conflicts, commanding generals/admirals must decide the best way to position
their forces and resources to accomplish their objectives. They can break tasks
down and assign them to specific units. The individual Soldiers, Sailors,
Airmen, and Marines in those units don’t have the whole picture available to
them, but they have to do their best to accomplish their designated tasks,
trusting that their senior officers have made the best decision.
Now imagine if the
General assigned tasks not to individual units, but to individual people. Like in the military, in
Christianity we don’t always know why we receive the order to accomplish a
certain task, but if we don’t do it, our Commanding Officer has to figure out a
different way to accomplish His objectives. In His matchless power and wisdom,
this shouldn’t be a problem, but there’s always a reason why His “Plan
A” was His first choice. When we choose not to accomplish our tasks, or
not to accomplish them fully, there’s some sort of fallout for the big picture.
We might not learn what it is on this side of Heaven, but I can’t imagine
there’s much benefit from telling the Creator of the Universe that your way is
better than His.
If that sounds like
something you’ve done before, that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the road for
your Christian walk. Resolve not to make that choice again. Easier said than
done, I know, but you can do it. God doesn’t tell you to do anything that He
won’t enable you to do. If it looked like an easy thing to accomplish, people
wouldn’t recognize that God had a hand in it. Everything will be in place by
the time you need it. I leave you with these words from Joshua 1:9, after Moses
died and Joshua, the new leader of the Israelites, had some enormous shoes to
fill:
“Have I not
commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be
dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
I don’t know what it is
about Dads, but we love to get our kids riled up. We know we shouldn’t do it as much as we do, but we can’t help it
sometimes. Daddies are the loud ones, the human jungle gyms, and the ones that
tend to ratchet things up rather than down. Mommies are the soothers, the
comforters, the ones the kids go to when something hurts (probably because of something
Daddy did while roughhousing).
Since my kids were
little, the basement has been the place where they could be loud. If they had
too much sugar or they were just a little extra wound up, we’d banish them to
the basement for awhile. When my two oldest kids were pretty young, one time I
took them in the basement to work off some energy while Mommy got a little
peace and quiet upstairs. My oldest daughter and my son loved when Daddy went a
little crazy with them.
Around that time we
came up with a game that was kind of like dodgeball. Back then our basement was
set up so that as you came down the stairs, you pulled a U-turn and walked down
a hallway to another room. Right across from the bottom of the stairs was
another room. I’d go to the room at the far end of the hall and throw a ball at
the wall near the bottom of the stairs while my kiddos ran back and forth
between the two safe zones (the blind spot at the bottom of the stairs and the
room across from it). It sounds kind of sadistic, but they loved it and they
weren’t going to get hurt. I had a ball that was kind of scary because it was
very loud when it hit the wall, so any time it “just missed” them, it was a big
thrill for them because they had snuck past Daddy’s throw without getting hit.
I pegged them plenty of times too, but it usually ended with lots of giggles. J
My kids weren’t very
old at this point, probably about 5 and 3. They loved playing this game though,
because this is where they learned to use teamwork to “distract” Daddy. One
would feint, act like they were going to dash across the line of fire, but it
was really just a trick to get Daddy to throw the ball while they were still
safe, and then the other one would make a break for it before the ball bounced
back to Daddy.
I’d try bouncing the
ball off the hallway’s walls, or putting spin on the ball so that it still
bounced after them even if they were in the safe zones. Naturally, the ball
would get stuck on their side every now and then, but they’d peek out from
behind their cover, pick it up, and throw it to me and dive back for cover
before I could pick it up and throw it again.
Little dodgeball champions
One time my little guy
picked it up and threw it to me, but then forgot to get back behind some cover.
I gave him some warning and made a big show of winding up for a big throw, but
he still wasn’t catching on that he was exposed. With all the gravity of a
life-and-death situation, big sis dashed across the line of fire, knowing full
well that Daddy was about to unleash a fastball. My little
medal-of-honor-winner-in-training jumped behind him and grabbed him under his armpits,
and then yanked him back to safety. He fell down on top of her in the process,
with the ball narrowly missing both of them.
There are some things
in the Bible that you just don’t fully appreciate unless you deal with young
kids a lot. This story about my kids helps me better grasp one story in the
book of Mark (10:17-31). A rich young ruler came up to Jesus and asked “what do
I need to do to have eternal life?” This guy was probably a young ruler in the
local synagogue, steeped in the legalism of the day. With his line of thinking
he was essentially looking for some kind of religious deed he could perform
that would guarantee his entry into Heaven. Although he was misguided, that
didn’t make him insincere.
Jesus more or less told
him “you know the deal…follow all the commandments…don’t murder, don’t commit
adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t defraud, and honor your father and
mother.”
While most of us at
that point probably would have remembered at least one time in our lives where
we told a lie or let Mom or Dad down, this guy had a different reaction.
“Yep, I’m good with all
that. What else do I need to do?”
If you’re Jesus, and
this guy has the nerve to say that to you, even if he believed it was true,
what are you gonna be thinking?
Here’s the part that my
kids helped me understand. “Jesus looked at him and loved him.”
Some translations might
say that Jesus felt great compassion for him. I was truly moved to see my
daughter sacrifice her safety for the sake of her little brother. The guy in
the story was earnestly seeking the truth from Christ, but he didn’t know he
was now playing in a different league. Like seeing my little guy standing in
the line of fire without knowing he was in danger, Christ probably looked at
this young man and thought to himself “Bless your little heart. You’re so
clueless and you don’t even know it.”
There are lots of other
fatherhood experiences where those words came to mind: “Jesus looked at him and
loved him.” Christ had compassion both for people that were His followers and for
people that were not. We’re called to do the same.
Sometimes when you’re
stuck in a waiting period, you just need to make the best of it.
In my senior year of
college, I was the Vice President of the Paddle Sports club. This club was for
people that wanted to try their hand at kayaking and whitewater rafting. The
academic year is kind of tricky for paddling because school’s not in session
during a huge chunk of the prime season, so we held pool sessions twice a week
during the entire academic year. During those sessions, it was a great opportunity
for newcomers to learn the basics of kayaking. The problem was…when there were
no newcomers, or when the winter began dragging on, those pool sessions got
kinda dull. If you already knew how to roll a kayak, you had to come up with
other ways to keep it interesting.
In the pool, those of
us that were regulars would try strange stuff: try to roll a capsized kayak
without using a paddle; setting up a kayak on one of the diving boards and
getting in, then sliding off the board into the pool; putting on a life jacket
and trying to swim down to the bottom of the pool’s deep end to retrieve
something from the floor. Out of all of it though, I think the nuttiest stuff
we did involved practicing righting a capsized raft.
When you have a whitewater raft full of people, and you’re shooting through some big water, it can be a dangerous thing if the raft flips and people get scattered. It’s best to have at least a couple of people in each raft that know how to flip it back over. That way if a raft gets flipped in some whitewater, whoever’s closest can flip it back over and get on with the business of bringing everyone back into the boat.
Example of righting a capsized raft
Each raft used in
whitewater rafting normally has a rope tied to at least one of the sides. If
the raft flips upside-down, someone climbs up on top of it. While grabbing the
rope and standing on the opposite edge of the raft, they lean backward while
pulling on the rope, eventually falling into the water and flipping the
capsized raft back over the right way.
Once you know how to do
it, it’s not a difficult thing to do. It’s important to practice though,
because it’s one thing to do it in the pool, but it’s something entirely
different when you’re bobbing through whitewater, trying to climb up on the
raft while wearing a wetsuit, helmet, and life jacket, all while holding a
paddle and trying to count heads.
We did a lot of
raft-flipping in the pool. The basic version gets boring quickly though. You
start trying to make it more interesting. I tried dozens of times to flip the
raft while timing the jump just right so that I landed in the righted raft
without falling in the water. We paired up and had a guy swim under the
capsized raft and hang onto a pontoon, so that when the other guy standing on
top of the raft flipped it over, there was already a guy in the boat. We doubled
the number and had two guys hanging onto pontoons while two other guys flipped
the boat. We even had three guys on top of a capsized raft…as two guys flipped
it, the third guy tried to get catapulted into the water (although he
miscalculated and got flipped the wrong direction). It was goofy stuff that was
just fun, didn’t hurt (much), and served no practical purpose other than
helping to pass the time.
What am I getting at? Sometimes
you’re going to be stuck waiting for awhile. Whether it’s a low-level job where
you have to put your time in, maybe a military assignment that’s a terrible but
necessary rung on the ladder, or maybe some season of life where you have to
put your primary plans on hold for a bit, you’ll probably find that God put you
in (or you got yourself into) a situation where the things you want to do are
going to have to take a back seat for awhile. In Paddle Sports, we had the
luxury of the season being predictable; we knew we wouldn’t do much outdoor
paddling from November to February, but things were going to pick up with the
spring thaw. A predictable season is the reality for some, but for others, they
don’t know how long they’ll be waiting.
If you find yourself in
the middle of your own version of the “winter months,” hang in there. Surround
yourself with people that will keep your spirits up and keep spurring you on. There’s
usually a lot you can do or learn even in those trying times. Spring’s coming,
but for now, do your best to make the most of the time you’ve got.
In 2002 a college buddy
and I took a trip to the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, Utah. We got to be
spectators at a biathlon, short track speed skating, bobsledding, some downhill
slalom, and cross-country skiing events. On top of the events themselves, one
night we were able to attend a medal ceremony downtown. A lot of the other
nights we’d go visit downtown, because that’s where a ton of stuff was going
on. We were able to watch the jumbotron set up in the city to keep up to speed
on whatever key events were going on that night. Overall, it was very cool
stuff.
In some of the venues we were able to get super close to the athletes or tracks. At the biathlon we actually had to be careful, because we were close enough to get hit in the face with ski poles. Same thing with bobsledding…we could get close enough to reach out and touch the sled as it raced past.
I didn’t really think about
it at the time, but athletes from across the globe that participated in the
same sport had similar builds or strengths. Hockey players and bobsledders
tended to be large and muscular, while short track competitors tended to be a
little shorter with more slender builds. Cross-country skiing competitors
seemed to be consistently above average height, and figure skaters cultivated
grace and agility rather than a muscular physique.
I’m over 6 feet tall,
but under 200 pounds. A little bit on the lanky side, I’m physically better
suited to play first base or quarterback more than I am to be a catcher or an
offensive lineman. I’ve got more potential in the sports of basketball,
volleyball, or tennis than I do in the sports of wrestling, powerlifting, or
marathon-running.
If I were bent on
becoming a professional athlete, I could lament the fact that I’m not built for
success in certain areas, or I could try my best to be successful in the areas
where I could excel.
It’s the same thing
with serving Christ. There are some functions in Christianity where the role
has a higher (or more desirable) profile than others. If you’re built and
equipped for one function though, don’t lament the fact that you’re not set up
for success in another. There’s a reason you have certain tendencies,
attitudes, instincts, spiritual gifts, and interests. You were designed and intended to fill a certain
role; by focusing on fulfilling a different role, you’re actually detracting
from the one you want to escape and
the one you want to attain.
Don’t run away from the
role you were born to fill. Embrace it, then watch God work through you.
I’m gonna skip ahead a
little bit on our Olympic adventure.
My buddy and I woke up at a rest stop on our first day in Utah after snoozing in sleeping bags in the car. Our breath had condensed and frozen on the windows overnight. We were only about an hour away from Salt Lake City. After all the driving of the past two days, we were excited to be so close, so we got ready for the day and headed out.
Our breath condensed and froze on the car’s windows overnight
Just arriving in the
area was thrilling. Olympic signs and venues were all over the place. Ski
jumps, the Olympic rings, extra decorations, it was great. As we drove on the
highway through the city, a lot of the buildings were decorated with massive
posters of winter sports. We drove into the city, parked, and walked around
downtown, happy to be done driving long distances for a bit. The weather was
gorgeous; sunny and warm. We saw the Mormon Temple, some of the other local
sights, got some donuts, and toured the State Capitol, where there was a
traveling exhibit of the Declaration of Independence.
We were super excited
to finally be at our destination, but we still had to figure out where we were
going to sleep that night. A little after noon we drove out of the city and
toward some public land. As it turns out, the public land in that area is much
higher in elevation. Added elevation brings lower temperatures and more snow.
As we drew near the place we intended to camp, we stopped at a ranger station to get some more info. Following their directions, we drove until reaching the end of the line; past a certain point they stopped plowing the road. Snowmobiles were all over the place. The only other way in was on foot.
It’s on foot from here
My buddy parked the car
in the parking lot and the two of us broke out our cross-country skis. Between
the weather and the time of day, visibility was starting to drop and it was going
to start getting dark soon. We needed to find a campsite quickly, and we didn’t
have time to be too choosy about what spot to use. The two of us skied in, found
a spot, then skied back out to the car to grab our gear. We were both decent
skiers at the time, but neither of us had ever skied with heavy packs before.
They throw off your balance and make it much trickier!
We returned to our site and stomped down the snow to make a spot for the tent. We set up the tent, broke out the stove, and started heating up dinner while unpacking and arranging the rest of our gear for the night. Between not having much to do after dark and still being accustomed to East Coast time, we cracked open and tossed some footwarmers into the sleeping bags and were in for the night a little after 7:30 pm.
Just as a refresher, up
until this point in my life the only other time I remember sleeping outside was
in a tent in a neighbor’s backyard in the summer as a kid. Now I’m sleeping in
a tent in the Wasatch Mountains in February as the snow/sleet falls around us. After
sleeping in a car for the past two nights, it was a nice change to be able to stretch
out all the way. I slept pretty well until the coyotes started howling later at
night. For anyone accustomed to hearing them, you know that there’s nothing to
worry about, but if you’re not used to them, you start wondering just how long
it will take for a determined coyote to rip through a flimsy tent.
I’d be lying if I told
you that I wasn’t afraid of doing what we were doing. It’s one thing to talk
like you’re going to do something that stretches you, but it’s something else
entirely to do it. Driving from New York to Utah is an adventure in itself, but
at least during that whole time, you’ve got a car…with heat, a roof, and a
trunk full of stuff. Now we had a tent, sleeping bags, and whatever we could
carry in our packs, and we set up camp in a spot that, for all we knew, was at
the bottom of a mountain that was ready to trigger an avalanche. And it was snowing.
Why on earth would I do
this?
I was willing to do it
because this was a once-in-a-lifetime chance. I refused to be left behind. I was
in college with few or no other responsibilities, the Winter Olympics were
happening in my country, I had the opportunity to go see them, and I had a
friend that was willing to do the same crazy thing. In the 17 years since that
trip, no similar opportunity has come around again for me.
For just a moment, think
about your life and the choices you regret. Often the things that come to mind first
are the things you did not do. For everyone,
even Christ-followers, there are things you wish you would’ve done differently.
Think about the choices that lie before you now, or that you’ll have to address
soon. One day you might pause to reflect on them, too. At different times in
our lives, everyone’s got a “thing,” an idea that nags at them even when they
try to shake it. Many times this is God’s nudge, saying “hey, I want you to do
this.” You probably don’t know what will happen if you do it. Maybe you do. Some
day you might be in Heaven, talking face to face with the creator of the
universe. “Remember when I prompted you to do that thing?” If you have regrets about not
doing something now, imagine what it
will be like then.
Don’t feel bad about
being scared; everybody’s scared of something. Letting fear stop you from doing
or being a part of big things is where you start missing out. Don’t let a fear
of being fearful paralyze you and prevent you from taking the next step that God’s
called you to take.
Refuse to be left behind.
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Ready to drive across the country to watch the Winter Olympics
This entry took place almost exactly 17 years ago (just two days off).
It had finally arrived.
February of 2002 was here, and the Winter Olympics had finally begun. My
college roommate and I had been working on a plot to head out to see some of
the Olympics in Utah for about a year and a half, and now everyone in our house
was watching the opening ceremonies on TV.
All the gear was bought
and (mostly) tested. We had our tickets in hand. The numerous little pieces
were all falling into place, and in a week or so we would embark on a great
adventure.
We made final
preparations for the trip and filled our professors in on what we were about to
do. We checked and re-checked details about the trip. In those last days before
heading out, we watched all kinds of Olympic coverage; it didn’t matter what
was on. The guys in our house, getting into the spirit of things, would even
watch Curling, which none of us understood. (“YES! Wait…so was that good
or bad?”)
As our departure date
drew near, we assembled all our gear, packing and re-packing it to see how to
maximize use of the space we had. Some of our stuff would be nice to have, but
if we couldn’t fit it, it wasn’t going with us.
The day finally
arrived. We loaded up my little car with all of the supplies we were bringing.
There was barely room for the two of us to fit. We left before dawn.
The initial drive took
us from Western New York State to Pittsburgh, where we switched to a larger
rental car. From there it was pretty much a straight shot out West along Route
80 to Salt Lake City. We were excited. This was really happening; we were
really doing this!
Twelve hours later, we
were bored out of our minds.
It was over 2,000 miles
and more than 30 hours of driving to our destination. America is a beautiful
place, but it’s kinda drab in February. Ohio wasn’t much to look at. Indiana wasn’t
much different. It got dark when we were somewhere in Illinois, and we weren’t
going to stop for another few hours. We kept going until we hit Iowa after 16
hours of driving on day one, where we eventually found a rest stop and slept in
the car overnight.
It seemed like the most beautiful part of some states was a higher speed limit
The excitement had worn
off. A day that began with such immense promise and electricity became dull and
mundane. All the different radio stations seemed to play the same songs. There
wasn’t much scenery to enjoy as we drove. You didn’t need to eat much if all
you did was sit in a car all day. We snacked on stuff, but it was as much for having
something to do as it was for being hungry. The highlight of the drive that
first day was stopping at a Wendy’s for dinner. “Will that be for the
dining room, or would you like it to go?”
“NO! The dining
room, please!“
The Christian life can
be exciting. When you see yourself being used to fulfill God’s purposes,
there’s nothing quite like it. It’s thrilling to go on missions trips, start learning
about a Bible study topic that hits close to home, read a book about a subject
you’ve been wanting to learn more about, or go so far as to start a new project
or effort that’s been tugging at your heart. There are going to be times in those
journeys, though, where it gets dull, boring, or even becomes downright
drudgery.
In a previous post I includede the phrase “go until you get a no.” The drudgery isn’t a “no,” it’s just a way for you to get worn down and an excuse for you to give up. If you give up on a herculean effort because you lose interest or get discouraged, you’re not giving God the opportunity to move mountains. God’s sense of timing tends to be different from our own. If you felt sure that He called you to take on a task, and you went so far as to get started on it, shouldn’t you see it through? Shouldn’t you go until you get a “no?”
Hang in there at least a little longer. God has a way of showing up at just the right time.
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Ever think about how
you don’t need help getting into trouble? Ever notice how you don’t need to
teach kids to do bad stuff? For example, did you show them how to lie, or did
they just kind of figure that one out on their own?
My son has told us some
lies before. These were like, blatant, totally unprompted lies. He’s a little
more slick about it these days, but when he was just a little guy, he once said
“I don’t have anything in my mouth” after he got into a bag of chips
without our permission. His mouth was…you guessed it…full of chips! On
another occasion he was supposed to be up in his room napping. When he came
down, without us saying anything, he told us “I wasn’t looking out the
window.”
Dude, at least make it
hard for us.
Most of the time instructions
and laws seem to be phrased in negative terms. “Don’t lie.”
“Don’t cheat.” It’s much more rare to have laws that are positive in
nature. Most of the Ten Commandments are the same way. Only two of them are
phrased in the positive (remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy; respect
your father and mother).
Elsewhere in the Bible
God gives other instructions. Sometimes He says stuff that’s intuitive or
obvious. Other times He tells us stuff that maybe we’ve heard or read a few
times, but we still miss it even though it’s something we ought to know and
need some help learning.
Valentine’s Day presents the opportunity to reflect on
one such instruction.
In many marriages, you
can ask the husband “does your wife love you?” Often he’ll answer
“well, yeah, sure she does.” Probe a little further, though, and you
might identify a problem. “Does she respect you?” The answer probably
doesn’t come as quickly, and if he doesn’t feel as though his wife respects
him, there could be an issue.
Hang on though, guys, ‘cuz
you’re not perfect, either. Stick with me, there’s a Biblical basis for this. The
opposite is often true for wives. She might feel sufficiently respected, but
she might not quite feel loved. (There’s a difference between knowing you’re loved and feeling that you’re
loved.)
Regardless of whether
you’re a male or female breadwinner, “working all day just to put food on
the table and keep a roof over our heads” is great, but isn’t the only
thing your significant other needs from you.
If either one isn’t
getting what they need, that person is running at an emotional deficit. Wives,
maybe you respect your husbands, but he may not feel it. Husbands, of course
you love your wives, but you need to make her know it and believe it. For
everybody…your spouse needs what they need; just because you don’t feel like
you require extra love/respect doesn’t mean they can go without it. Don’t cut
them off from what they need just because you look at them through the prism of
you.
Take a look at the book
of Ephesians. In chapter 5, God tells us (in positive verbiage) what to do. He
doesn’t give us a “don’t,” he gives us a “do.” These days
the first part is easy to misconstrue as being outdated and part of the
“toxic masculinity” you hear about in men’s razor commercials. Don’t
twist it; read the whole thing. Right on the heels of talking about how to live
with and treat other Christians, the author turns his attention to household
relationships in verses 22-33.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might [g]sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, [h]of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Note how it doesn’t say
“husbands, respect your wives,” or “wives, love your
husbands.” Why not? Because most of the time, those things aren’t the
shortfalls. We’re probably already doing them. This passage guides us to do
something that doesn’t come naturally.
There’s a whole study
on this topic called “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs. I’ve
never read the book, but the DVD series was phenomenal. “Pink and
Blue…not wrong…just different.” Great stuff for a small group setting
or Sunday School class.
If you haven’t been
offering what your spouse needs, and then you start providing it, watch how
powerful an agent it can be. Flowers and chocolates are great and all, but how
about this year, you make a concerted effort to deliver what your spouse or
significant other really needs?
Happy Valentine’s Day!
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In this blog I like to
talk about coming up with new ways to employ the gifts God’s given you for the
purpose of reaching people in ways that aren’t already been done. Here’s an
example.
These days it’s
becoming more common to open satellite churches. Usually what that means is
that there’s a main campus where the preacher physically delivers a sermon, and
it’s broadcast live (or on a delay) to other satellite churches in the network.
Those remote churches normally have an on-site staff, including a pastor (who
is not delivering a sermon, but is there to support the members of the
congregation), worship leaders, and all the volunteers that are needed to pull
off a functioning church service.
Gateway Church in Texas
recently announced that it was opening a new satellite campus. On the surface,
this isn’t anything unusual, but this particular venue is more difficult for
average folks to get to.
Gateway Church’s new
remote site is in the state’s largest maximum security prison.
They’ve hired someone
to be the campus pastor for this particular location, and there are others who
help every week, but just about everyone else who works to ensure the services
function is an inmate. Ushers, greeters, guys setting up, guys tearing down,
worship leaders, audio/video staff…all inmates.
The ways people are currently
reaching the lost are not the only ways to do it. There are tons of other ways
to do it that haven’t been started, but either nobody’s thought of it yet, or
nobody’s willing to do it. When it comes to reaching people for Christ, you
might be the only person on this entire planet that has the ideas you do. Don’t
let those ideas die on the vine.
You have talent; you
have ideas; you have value. For the sake of Christ’s kingdom and the people who
aren’t yet in it, please share those things with others.
