Category: Family

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Pray With Fury

Have you ever been so mentally or physically worn out that you can’t even take care of yourself?

Emotionally wrung out, physically depleted, and/or mentally exhausted people have a difficult time performing all but the most basic of functions. If they’re providing care for someone else while in this state, they’re certainly not taking proper care of themselves.

In these situations it can be extraordinarily difficult to have any prayer life to speak of, save for a singular focus. I’ve heard the term “intercessory prayer” for a long time, but only recently heard it described as praying on someone else’s behalf because they are either unable or unwilling to do it themselves.

To look at it another way, you might be the only person with the ability to address a certain issue through prayer.

There’s a special family in Northern Virginia whose little girl, Molly, developed a condition in the womb that resulted in her being born with some of her internal organs on the outside of her body. Now 7 years old, last week Molly went into surgery after months of preparatory procedures aimed at moving those organs inside her body. Initially things looked good, but as time went on, Molly’s heart and lungs had a very difficult time adapting to the increased pressure of having not only the organs moved inside her abdominal cavity, but the added pressure of swelling due to surgery. It’s been a very fluid situation since the process first began over a week ago, and at times it seemed doubtful that this sweet little girl would make it through the night. Molly, her parents, and her medical team at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia have been forced to contend with countless complications that cast a heavy fog over the path that would bring her back from the brink.

Imagine sending your little girl back for surgery, and you and your spouse await word from the surgeons to find out how it went. During the surgery, a nurse comes hurrying out of the operating room, only to return a short time later with a cooler containing blood for transfusing, and your daughter’s name is printed on it. Then later they bring in still more blood for her. In the first 18 hours after her initial surgery started, Molly required 40 units of blood. In the days that followed, her medical team had to advocate on her behalf in order to convince the hospital to allow Molly access to its critical reserve of blood products.

Molly in her room (Photo courtesy of “Molly’s Belly Blog”)

In all of this, Molly’s parents are staying with a host family during the COVID-19 pandemic of 2020. Their little girl has undergone half a dozen surgeries since the first one, some of which focused on unexpected areas of her body that were fine before she went under. Molly simply wouldn’t stop bleeding, her blood pressure wouldn’t come up enough, and the clotting and blood pressure medication the team administered robbed her extremities of oxygen.

Her parents, while obviously prayerful for their daughter’s life, are exhausted, separated from their other daughter, and dealing with a situation that changes often. In the week following the initial surgery there’s been much more bad news than good, and if you’re prone to worry, there’s been much to worry about. Molly and her parents are simply unable to pray for everything that needs to be brought to God and still function on a day-to-day basis.

That’s where we come in. As it became evident that the surgery had not worked as planned and that Molly’s life was in a precarious state, people began praying by the hundreds. These people, from around the globe, have covered this family in prayer 24 hours a day.

About a week into the ordeal, Molly turned a corner and began to improve. It’s still not clear what the outcome will be, but at this point there are literally thousands of people praying on behalf of Molly and her family, lifting them up in constant prayer. This little girl, whose life at times seemed to be hanging by a thread, has to date received a whopping 150 units of blood.

Acutely aware of just how precious a resource available blood is, the family found a way to tap in to the desire of everyone that wanted to help the family. After forming “Team Ingram” on a Red Cross app, the family requested that volunteers donate blood in Molly’s name. In just 24 hours, Team Ingram jumped into the top 1% of blood-donation groups, replenishing many times over the amount of blood used in Molly’s treatment so far, and potentially saving many other lives in the process.

Although I’m sure there were numerous “passing prayers” or quick prayers uttered in half a breath for Molly, there have collectively been many hours of deliberate prayer on behalf of her and her family. Some of this was intentional, focused prayer pleading with the Lord for Molly’s life. She’s still here, but still needs persistent prayer. God still listens to the prayers of His people. I don’t know how all this will end, but the targeted prayers focused on specific topics seem to have moved Molly in the right direction. All glory and honor belong to the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Graphic courtesy of “Molly’s Belly Blog”

If you’d like to follow along with Molly’s saga and add your prayer (or blood donation) support to her and her family, please request to join the “Molly’s Belly Blog” or watch this YouTube video of her story…and please keep her full recovery in your prayers, because God listens to His people’s requests.

Please pass this post along to anyone you think will make an appeal to God on behalf of Molly and her family.

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I Hear What You’re Saying, But…

If I told you I’m a parent, you’d probably believe me, but it’s not the same thing as seeing evidence that I’m a parent.

I came home from work one day and saw a Frisbee on the roof over our garage. We often have misspelled words and stick figures drawn in different colors of chalk on our driveway or sidewalk. In the summertime I often see little bits of broken water balloons on our porch. Inside the house, the living room is seldom “all the way” cleaned up, even if we tell the kids to make it “Mommy and Daddy mode.”

We have kids, and there are signs of them everywhere. (It’s unquestionably a good thing, even though sometimes there are a few too many signs.)

These things, in and of themselves, are not proof that I’m a parent. To an observer though, these signs make the notion a lot more believable.

There’s something similar when it comes to Christianity. If you claim to be a Christian, yet you haven’t changed at all from the way you were before joining the faith, something’s probably not quite right.

Galations 5:22-23 describes the qualities that a Christian will develop over time. The author’s not saying that only a Christian could have these qualities, but, in the same way that the Frisbee on my roof is probably there because of a kid rather than an adult, a Christian’s life will contain signs, indicators, or evidence of the faith they’re claiming.

When someone accepts Christ, at that moment the Holy Spirit sets up shop in that person’s life. What does that mean? It means that from that moment on, God starts working on changing your attitude to be more like His. I heard someone say once that God accepts you for who you are, but He loves you too much to leave you that way.

My mom used to have a tee shirt with a three-by-three grid on it. Inside each box was a picture of some kind of fruit, but instead of labeling them “grapes” or “watermelon,” they’d say things like “patience” and “self control.” These nine things (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control) collectively make up what the Bible calls “the fruit of the Spirit.”

Having these fruits is not something that happens quickly. Fruit takes a long time to grow. You can’t put in a weekend of intensive Bible reading and prayer and have these things spring forth in your life; it takes time. The outcome of being a Christian and continuously pursuing a relationship with Christ is a life that is characterized by these nine fruits.

Consider taking a closer look at these traits. Is there one (or several) that you’d like to develop or increase in your walk with Christ?

Happy birthday Mom! Love ya!

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Worrywarts

I’ve got three kids. It’s fun to watch them grow, figure stuff out, and then teach each other the things they’ve picked up over time.

My older two have figured out that when they’re scared of doing something, whether it’s go down in the basement or knock on a neighbor’s door, it’s usually not as bad if they take someone along with them. As a result, their little sister often ends up going down in the basement or knocking on a neighbor’s door along with them.

Taking it a step further, the two older kids are downright brave if they’re watching out for their little sister, even if it’s something that ordinarily gives them the willies.

Ever notice how you tend to be more brave if you’re watching out for someone? You can more easily pull yourself together in a bad situation when someone else depends on you. When someone else relies on you, it takes you out of yourself, and you can rise above your fears.

There are a lot of very anxious people out there these days. If you’re one of them, the first thing I’d probably recommend is to ease back on the amount of news coverage you take in. News reports aren’t known for their soothing nature. Beyond that, though, consider mentoring someone or helping them through the unique circumstances in which we now find ourselves. If you’re focused on helping someone else get through a difficult time, you spend less time worrying about how you are going to make it.

Don’t get me wrong, take care of yourself first. What I’m talking about is the extra time and energy you might waste worrying. I’ve heard it said that worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

If you’re prone to excess worry, take a look around and see who you can help settle. It’s going to be okay, but in order for some folks to believe that, they might need to hear it from you.

Hang in there, we’re going to get through this.

New posts every Thursday on daregreatlynow.com

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Divine Appointments

My wife is a wonderful woman. Not only does she take care of our kiddos and I, she also pours into the lives of many of the women she knows.

At any given time she has at least one friend that’s going through heartbreaking circumstances or challenges, and she tries to help them in various ways. One weekday at church she was the lead for her class’s Bible study, which was a source of stress for her in terms of preparation and delivering the material. Though the class itself went well, another woman she knew sought her out afterward, and it resulted in a conversation that required a lot of mental energy and focus. It wasn’t a bad encounter, but it added to the stress of a particularly draining day. By the time she left church with our preschool-aged daughter, she just wanted to get home and do something that didn’t require any thought or energy, but she knew our little girl would want to read some books or play pretend with some of her toys.

Mentally exhausted and physically worn out, she arrived home to see that I had come home early for a dental appointment, and was just about to leave. Instead of driving right from work to the dentist, I came home first because I wanted to change clothes so I could run an errand after the dentist. My daughter got excited and wanted to go with me because the last time she went with me to the dentist, one of the assistants had allowed her to pick a toy out of the little treasure chest, just for tagging along. Well, that sounded good to everyone, so my little sidekick and I drove off.

My wife came inside to a quiet house and collapsed on the couch. Before long she thought of something she needed to do online. She picked up our laptop and went to turn it on, but the battery was dead. Taking this as a sign, she put it back down and closed her eyes for just a few moments. She ended up getting a half hour of much-needed quiet…an opportunity that would not have happened if our daughter stayed home and if the laptop’s battery had any life in it.

People often forget this, but the God of the big things is God of the little things, too. Foreseeing this need, God laid the groundwork for that day. There were at least three separate things that needed to happen in order for these conditions to exist for my wife. I don’t remember what errand I intended to run after the dentist, but God worked it out that instead of going right from work to the dentist, I first came home to change clothes. In addition to that, I don’t know how long before that day my daughter came with me to the dentist, but somehow God set up the circumstances for that previous visit so that I was home and took my little girl with me and she got a toy, conditioning her to want to go again the next time. Similarly, however we used the laptop the day before (or the morning of) the Bible study resulted in a dead battery by the time my wife arrived home.

It’s as if God says “if you follow me and work for me, you’re going to have hard times, but I’m going to take care of you.” Never forget that God is sovereign; there is nothing He can’t control. When you’re living in His will, He goes before you and “plows the road” ahead of you to get you where He wants you to be. On the flip side, if you’re not living in His will, there will probably be times when it seems like there hasn’t been one particularly difficult challenge, but you feel like you’re expending a lot of energy just to accomplish something minor.

So, especially during this busy season, remember: the God of the big things is God of the little things, too.

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It’s All About Perspective

(Programming note: In observance of the Thanksgiving holiday, I’m switching up this week’s posting schedule. Next week will be back to Thursday.)

When my kids were very young, like a lot of kids, they were pretty self-centered. This wasn’t a surprise; when any child’s world is still very small, they naturally think of themselves as the center of the universe.

My wife and I found a way to start breaking them out of that thought process. Every night at bedtime, we started doing what we call “Thankful Hearts.” We’d each say a few things for which we were thankful. My wife and I started out with some examples. We might say something like “I’m thankful we had enough food to eat today, I’m thankful you didn’t get hurt worse when you fell down today, and I’m thankful our house is keeping us warm and dry while it’s rainy and cold outside.”

It took a little adjustment for them, but over time our kids began focusing less on their “I wants” and more on their “I already haves.” This roundabout way of counting their blessings helped our kids understand that it’s a special thing to have enough when others don’t. That type of security allows people to turn their focus outward; instead of our kids’ prayer requests sounding like a Christmas list for items they wanted for themselves, they soon began bringing their requests to God on behalf of the needs of others.

In a world where every commercial or advertisement you watch, read, or hear tries to convince you that what you already have is inadequate, it’s easy to become dissatisfied. That’s the goal of advertising. It’s also easy to get caught in the whole “keep up with the Joneses” mentality. Don’t forget though, especially as we head into Christmas season, to be thankful for the areas of your life where you already have “enough,” especially if you’re assured of your salvation through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Thankfulness of that eternal assurance allows you to be confident and enables you to turn your focus outward and share the good news with those who, in that sense, aren’t as blessed as you are.

I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High. Psalm 9:1-2

Happy Thanksgiving!

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How Are You Not Cheating?!

My wife is one of four sisters, and each one of them is married with kids. The four families are spread out across the country, but when we can make it happen, it’s fun to get together.

A few times in the past, after most of the kids go down for the night, the parents have pulled out board games. It usually ends up that the teams get split into husbands vs. wives. The hubbies are able to squeak out wins in some games, but the wives are freakishly dominant when it comes to Pictionary.

I don’t know what it is; maybe all that time spent together as kids developed some kind of shared consciousness or something. It’s actually embarrassing to be on the other team. One of the sisters will be halfway into drawing a stick figure when another one shouts “ooh, ooooh…the Berlin Wall!” “YES! You got it!” Or one of them might draw a circle, and a half second later two of them will simultaneously yell “an apple a day keeps the doctor away!” After that the artist excitedly points at them and shouts “Yes, that’s it!”

Team Hubby just sits there bewildered, looking at the drawing, then at each other. The ladies are either extremely good at cheating and not letting us find out about it, or they benefit from a collection of minds that are on the same wavelength, with a singular focus and common understanding.

Oddly enough, that’s sometimes how Christianity works. I love hearing stories about how God weaves lives together to benefit one or more of them. Believers (and even unbelievers) become answers to urgent prayers. Complete strangers walk up to someone and, prompted only by the Holy Spirit, hand over money that the recipient desperately needed. Collectively, people employ their different spiritual gifts or use their various resources to achieve improbable or unique feats.

At times Christians work together without any earthly coordination. Something from your devotions combines with a “random” song on the radio and something you read (maybe even this blog!) to result in a message that’s being shouted at the hearer.

The hearer asks “what does this mean?” Well, if you’re the one hearing it, you’re the one that’s in the best position to make sense of it. Continue praying and seeking God’s guidance for your life. Not just once or twice more, but each day, multiple times a day, and He will eventually make it clear. Once He does, act on it. It’s your ticket to being a part of the freakishly dominant team.

PS – No, we don’t play Pictionary at family events anymore. The wives see that Team Hubby is getting bent out of shape, so they let us win other stuff and act like we won through our raw talent.

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It’s Okay, He’s Got Me

Little kids are a hoot, man. Mine are all old enough to swim on their own at this point, but it’s fun to think about when they were younger and the things they’d do at the pool.

As a dad, one of the fun things to see is the trust your kids place in you. The pool is a place where the trust you’ve built with your kids becomes most evident. For a kiddo that’s 3 or 4 years old and doesn’t know how to swim yet, it’s a scary thing to walk to the edge of the pool and jump into water that might be too deep to stand in. It’s a big deal to jump off the side of the pool into Daddy’s arms! You look at them and you can almost see the wheels turning. It’s like they’re thinking “Daddy’s right there, but will he catch me if I jump?”

It’s so fun to stand in the pool, looking up at them, and say “go ahead, I’ll catch you,” and to see them think it over. I have three kids, so I’ve seen a few different reactions. There’s always some hesitation; sometimes it passes quickly and other times it takes some additional coaxing for them to commit to the jump.

It’s fun to watch their eyes, too. They look at my outstretched arms, gauging whether or not they think they can make it. Once they decide they think they can do it, they look me in the eyes, seeking assurance that I’m focused on them and will be there when they need me. My next move would be to give them a non-verbal green light. Sometimes it was a silent nod. Other times it was a big smile. With intense focus, they’d stick out their little tongue, crouch, and take a flying leap into Daddy’s arms.

It’s a simple, but beautiful picture. As the father to my children, I cherish that trust that we’ve developed together. They each placed so much trust in me that each one of them were willing to step outside their comfort zones to do something beyond what they could do on their own. Building trust is something that’s done over time, but can be shattered in an instant. As they each belly-flopped their way into my arms, it was so fun to join in their celebration with exclamations, smiles, and laughs. Almost right away they wanted to do it again, and then again. Building further on that trust, I was able to back farther away from the edge, or move into deeper water, and they’d be okay with making the leap because they knew. They knew “it’s okay, he’s got me.”

Your Heavenly Father takes pleasure in seeing you demonstrate your trust in Him, too. Nothing brings Him a smile quite like seeing His children trust Him and leap with both feet into the challenge He’s given to them. Like an earthly father, He coaxes the child according to what he or she needs. Maybe it’s a silent nod, a big smile, or in some cases, a push from behind.

Give Him an opportunity to build more trust with you. Summon up your courage and concentration, stick out your tongue, and take that flying leap. He’s got you.

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There’s A Way Out

I took a class one time that required me to read a book about traffic. Living in the DC area, I have plenty of opportunities to observe traffic firsthand, so the book helped explain some of the things I see regularly.

One of the concepts that stuck with me is the notion that many car accidents happen when people fixate on the bad situation they’re heading into. If you see that you’re about to impact something, and it’s all you focus on, it’s all but certain that it will happen. You go where your eyes look.

On the flip side, drivers avoid many accidents by focusing on the way out. If you can’t stop the vehicle in time, the only way to avoid an impact is to find another way out. Again, you go where your eyes look.

Reading this book may have helped me avoid an accident once. I was driving our family somewhere, and I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should have. We came around a downhill curve, approaching traffic that was slowing to stop at a traffic light. The gap between us and the car in front of us closed quicker than I anticipated. I stomped on the brakes, but we weren’t going to stop in time. As crazy as it sounds, in a flash I remembered that lesson from the book, and my eyes looked left and right instead of fixating on the looming bumper. I swerved to avoid the car, spilling over into the next lane. Thankfully the spot in the lane right next to us was empty and the vehicle in whose way we just jumped stopped in time.

I’m glad I did my reading assignments for that class.

Sin is a lot like that. We all struggle with it in some way. Some sins are recurring, while others you didn’t even see coming. It could be an addiction, or it could be the result of a heart that’s bitter or holds grudges. Whatever it is, it seems like all it takes is the blink of an eye before you’ve messed up again.

Take heart, though. There’s some good news in the book of 1 Corinthians:

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. -1 Corinthians 10:13

You haven’t been tempted beyond what you can bear, but there’s another round of temptation coming your way. When it does, instead of fixating on the impact, look for the way out, because there’s going to be one.

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Today’s the Tomorrow We Talked About Yesterday

One day when my youngest daughter was four, she asked Mommy if she could have a lollipop. It was too late in the evening to let her have it though, so my wife told her she could have one the next day. Sure enough, our little one remembered the next day:

“Mom? Is it tomorrow?”

“Yes, today’s the tomorrow we talked about yesterday.”

It’s an off-the-cuff, but profound saying. “Today’s the tomorrow we talked about yesterday.” When you think about it, each of us is the product of our past choices and experiences. You are the person you are today because of the things you’ve gone through.

If you could go back and change something somewhere along the line…erase a mistake…capitalize on the knowledge you have now…you’d have a new set of experiences. You’d no longer be the person you are.

You are the person God knew you’d be at this point. He can, and (if you let Him) He will use you to do great things for His kingdom. All the mistakes, all the missed opportunities, along with all the high points, milestones, and celebrations…they helped shape who you are right now. Because of who you are, with your placement and background, there’s something that only you are equipped to do for God’s glory.

In the same way, the things you experience today will shape your tomorrow. This includes not only the things that happen to you, but the situations you place yourself into. The choices you make hold tremendous bearing over what will happen to your future. Make sure you’re making good ones.

Tomorrow will soon be here; will your future self be thankful for what you’re doing today?

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You Did That For Me?

Photo courtesy of wordsofreason.wordpress.com

Three or four years ago our family of five went to see my folks for Easter. It was the time of year when the winter’s cold was gone and the kids could finally get some time playing outside.

While we were all in their backyard one day, I told my wife and kids about some of the places I used to visit in the woods nearby when I was a kid. On the spur of the moment, we all decided to take a trip into the forest to have a look for ourselves.

Our kiddos have always enjoyed being in the woods, but most of the places we’ve taken them have had nice wide trails that make it easy to get around. There were no trails here, so we had to find our own way. Without really thinking too much about it, my plan was to bring them into the woods through one section, then bring them down to see some cool spots along the creek, and then start coming back up through a different area.

We got down to the creek, and I showed them an old well, then brought them to the spot where some of us slid down a natural waterslide and built dams as kids. I had a childhood friend whose dad loved golf; in order to work on his swing, he’d stand in his yard and drive old golf balls into the forest. As a kid, friends and I would come across some of these golf balls while playing in the woods; they were always in the same general area, so he must’ve had a consistent swing. J Now, with my own family in tow, I told my kids to keep an eye out for golf balls. Sure enough, we found at least one.

As we started heading back, I took them along an easy route I followed when I was younger. It’s a funny thing though, if you stay out of a forest for 10 or 15 years, you might be surprised at how much it changes while you’re gone.

We crossed back over the creek and started heading back up the hill. It started getting tricky, though, because in our path were numerous thorn bushes I didn’t remember running into before. We’d make some progress up the hill, only to run into a spot that was too thick for us to pass, so we’d have to scoot sideways or even come back down the hill some. There were spots where we could squeeze through, but I had to step on a few thorny branches and hold back others with one hand while my kiddos carefully passed through.

It’s not so bad when you’re tall enough to see over the thorn bushes, but when you’re only about three feet tall and Mom and Dad don’t seem to know where they’re going, it can be scary and even overwhelming. My kids started getting worried, even coming to the verge of tears, so I stopped being delicate with the thorns in order to move us along faster. Instead of grabbing them with just a finger and thumb, I pushed them aside and held them out of the way with the back of my hand so we could make wider openings and move toward our goal a little quicker.

It was slow going, but the kids hung in there and we finally made it out of the woods. As the panic subsided, the kids noticed that one of my hands had a surprising amount of blood on it. I didn’t have any bad cuts, but the thorns had scratched me enough that it caused the blood to start flowing. It looked much worse than it actually was, but my daughter was very concerned because of how much blood she saw. Through her eyes, all she knew was that Daddy was bleeding so that the rest of them could safely pass through the dangerous spots.

As we had approached Easter that year, we had been talking more frequently about the suffering Jesus endured aside from the cross. The beatings, the humiliation, the crown of thorns, the sheer indignity, and all sorts of other often-forgotten things are still part of the story. He was so weak from the beating and other types of suffering that He couldn’t even carry the cross, as the condemned often did. My wife voiced the connection, using our adventure as an object lesson. It’s like it clicked for my oldest daughter. He took my place. I escaped the suffering because someone else did it for me.

I don’t know where you are in life, or if you consider yourself a spiritual person. None of that changes the fact that Christ paid for the price of your admission into Heaven. You can’t earn it, you can’t pay your own way, and you can’t pay Him back. The only way to get into Heaven is to use the ticket He bought you. He bought tickets for everyone, but only a small percentage of people take Him up on the offer.

He’s holding out a ticket for you, and He wants you to take it. Will you accept it?