Category: Hang In There

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Hanging on by a Thread (Part 2 of 3)

(See Part 1 here and Part 3 here)

The next few days after my father-in-law, Lee, got whisked away to the hospital were a blur. Whatever had gone wrong with his heart was a complicated thing. Doctors put him in a medically induced coma and dropped his body temperature for a few days as a way of “rebooting” him. Since this was right after Christmas, family that had just left turned around and came back. One of Lee and Pam’s daughters flew in from Alaska. People were constantly calling, trying to find out the latest information, even when there was nothing new to report. The adrenaline we all ran on started wearing off, and the exhaustion began setting in.

Lee’s hospital was about an hour away from his house, where my wife and three young kiddos were staying. My wife would go up there every day, but an extra two hours of travel time a day added to the burden. My kids started getting antsy; at the time they were 5, 4, and 14 months, and Mommy had never been away from them this much before. In her place, they got a guy that meant well, but just couldn’t compare to Mommy. Some of the meals I came up with were really just glorified snacks, and sometimes it was the same thing over and over again. The walls started feeling like they were closing in on all of us. We needed to find some kind of better solution as we got closer to the time the doctors were going to try to raise Lee’s body temperature and revive him.

Lee and Pam knew a bunch of people in the area near the hospital, and we decided to make the drive as a family up to that region with the intent to start staying the night up there somewhere. We packed a bunch of our stuff and left Lee and Pam’s house not knowing where we’d be spending the next few nights. We made it to the hospital and went to the waiting room where we saw lots of familiar faces. During the day all kinds of friends and well-wishers came and went, some of them even bringing much-appreciated care packages of food and things to help pass the time. My kids enjoyed the extra time with Mommy, even if it was in a waiting room. Even with all the extra family and friends helping out, though, they didn’t have to stay in the same room long before they started getting antsy again. They needed somewhere to feel settled.

During the day we were still trying to find a place to stay. One family offered us an available room in their home, but five of us is a lot to cram into one room (especially when two of the kids still napped), so we wanted to see if we could find anything else. Someone had two rooms available for us, but they had a dog that my son would’ve been allergic to. Late in the day we got word that there was a family willing to let us stay at their place. They had two rooms for us, no pets, and the house was less than five minutes from the hospital. The offers weren’t going to get much better than that and it was getting late, so we grabbed it. By the time we arrived at the house it was after dark. The house was cheery and still decorated for Christmas, and when the door opened we met some of the sweetest people we could have hoped for. Jay and Esther and their daughter Tracey welcomed us into their home in one of our young family’s hours of greatest need.

Jay and Esther were great-grandparents, and they had a large family. Their house was so warm and welcoming, and someone was always popping in because…that’s just the kind of place it was. They had one of their grandsons staying in their basement at the time, and he and a visiting friend helped us bring in our luggage, pack ‘n plays, and anything we brought with us. By the time we got there, it was time to get the kids to bed. We got our daughters set up in one of the rooms, and we set up our son on the floor in the room where my wife and I stayed. I think my wife and I spent a little time visiting with the family before we collapsed into bed, too. That was our first restful night of sleep since the whole ordeal with Lee began.

The next day my wife headed off to the hospital early again, but my kids and I were able to stay in a place the kids finally felt comfortable and occupied. If memory serves, Jay and Esther had five kids; as grandparents and great-grandparents, many children had come to visit this house, and there were all kinds of fun things for my kids to play with and explore. They also had all kinds of Christmas decorations that sang or danced after it got squeezed (a favorite for kids). In addition to all kinds of stuffed animals and toys, they had a foosball table and a pool table in the basement…something that kept my kids occupied for a very long time.

Our hosts also figured out that Daddy was good at getting his kids riled up and roughhousing, but maybe needed some help in the food preparation department. Oh, man, they were so great. My kids actually started having balanced meals. Those wonderful people made it possible for us to put one foot in front of the other on our march through the trial we faced.

Last story about staying at their place. During naptime one day, I laid down my youngest in a pack ‘n play in a room by herself. I laid my son down in his sleeping bag on the floor in our room, and I set up my oldest daughter to play/color/draw on the bed in our room. My son fell asleep right away, and I told my daughter I was going to read on the floor. Once I laid down, though, I figured out pretty quickly that I wasn’t going to stay awake long, so I let her know I’d probably take a nap on the floor. My five-year-old daughter got down off our bed with her little blanket, came and lay down beside me, and all three of us took a nap in a row on the floor. We were finally in a place where we could rest.

I’ll get you caught up on Lee in my next post, but this one’s about how much we were able to benefit from the generosity and hospitality of these wonderful people. That was their gift, they loved helping people, and it was amazing and much appreciated to be ministered to in that way.

This whole site is geared toward encouraging you to use your gifts to live a life of higher impact for Christ’s Kingdom. Not everyone is going to be an international gospel singer or someone that proclaims the truth boldly in stadiums across the globe. I don’t know what your gifts are. You might not accomplish anything earth-shattering by being hospitable to someone who needs help, but let me tell you…it can mean the world to the person receiving the help. Whatever your gift is…please…find a way to use it. God gave you that gift for a reason, and if you let Him, He’ll tie you into His master plan.

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Wait For It…

Sometimes when you’re stuck in a waiting period, you just need to make the best of it.

In my senior year of college, I was the Vice President of the Paddle Sports club. This club was for people that wanted to try their hand at kayaking and whitewater rafting. The academic year is kind of tricky for paddling because school’s not in session during a huge chunk of the prime season, so we held pool sessions twice a week during the entire academic year. During those sessions, it was a great opportunity for newcomers to learn the basics of kayaking. The problem was…when there were no newcomers, or when the winter began dragging on, those pool sessions got kinda dull. If you already knew how to roll a kayak, you had to come up with other ways to keep it interesting.

In the pool, those of us that were regulars would try strange stuff: try to roll a capsized kayak without using a paddle; setting up a kayak on one of the diving boards and getting in, then sliding off the board into the pool; putting on a life jacket and trying to swim down to the bottom of the pool’s deep end to retrieve something from the floor. Out of all of it though, I think the nuttiest stuff we did involved practicing righting a capsized raft.

When you have a whitewater raft full of people, and you’re shooting through some big water, it can be a dangerous thing if the raft flips and people get scattered. It’s best to have at least a couple of people in each raft that know how to flip it back over. That way if a raft gets flipped in some whitewater, whoever’s closest can flip it back over and get on with the business of bringing everyone back into the boat.

Example of righting a capsized raft

Each raft used in whitewater rafting normally has a rope tied to at least one of the sides. If the raft flips upside-down, someone climbs up on top of it. While grabbing the rope and standing on the opposite edge of the raft, they lean backward while pulling on the rope, eventually falling into the water and flipping the capsized raft back over the right way.

Once you know how to do it, it’s not a difficult thing to do. It’s important to practice though, because it’s one thing to do it in the pool, but it’s something entirely different when you’re bobbing through whitewater, trying to climb up on the raft while wearing a wetsuit, helmet, and life jacket, all while holding a paddle and trying to count heads.

We did a lot of raft-flipping in the pool. The basic version gets boring quickly though. You start trying to make it more interesting. I tried dozens of times to flip the raft while timing the jump just right so that I landed in the righted raft without falling in the water. We paired up and had a guy swim under the capsized raft and hang onto a pontoon, so that when the other guy standing on top of the raft flipped it over, there was already a guy in the boat. We doubled the number and had two guys hanging onto pontoons while two other guys flipped the boat. We even had three guys on top of a capsized raft…as two guys flipped it, the third guy tried to get catapulted into the water (although he miscalculated and got flipped the wrong direction). It was goofy stuff that was just fun, didn’t hurt (much), and served no practical purpose other than helping to pass the time.

What am I getting at? Sometimes you’re going to be stuck waiting for awhile. Whether it’s a low-level job where you have to put your time in, maybe a military assignment that’s a terrible but necessary rung on the ladder, or maybe some season of life where you have to put your primary plans on hold for a bit, you’ll probably find that God put you in (or you got yourself into) a situation where the things you want to do are going to have to take a back seat for awhile. In Paddle Sports, we had the luxury of the season being predictable; we knew we wouldn’t do much outdoor paddling from November to February, but things were going to pick up with the spring thaw. A predictable season is the reality for some, but for others, they don’t know how long they’ll be waiting.

If you find yourself in the middle of your own version of the “winter months,” hang in there. Surround yourself with people that will keep your spirits up and keep spurring you on. There’s usually a lot you can do or learn even in those trying times. Spring’s coming, but for now, do your best to make the most of the time you’ve got.